tender rain (Nobu x OC QPR)
by avalon01k
Summary: Nishimura Shion, freshly graduated from high school, finds herself kicked out and robbed of her university dream. In need of a new home, her realtor agent directs her to apartment 707 where it is suggested she live with two women named Nana. Surrounded by drama and desperate to find connections with others, can Shion make friends and forge a path that leads to her music dream?
1. home

She'd never chosen a home before. Was that really possible for someone like her?

It hadn't been a good week for Shion. Her stepmother had convinced her father that they needed money to move to a flashy new apartment more than Shion needed tertiary education and so it had been decided that after Shion had graduated from high school she would move out and look for a job instead.

_"Please don't do this, Otou-san!" Shion begged. "I've always wanted to go to the same university as Okaa-san!"_

_"There's no point in wasting money on such an expensive education if you don't have any plans for the future, Shion." Her stepmother said matter-of-factly._

_Her father nodded in agreement. "It will do you good to get out into the real world like this. Living alone will be a good experience for you. You're always shut away in your room. It's unnatural."_

And so she had found herself being forced to change her plans. It really would be impossible for her to attend university without financial aid, and she wasn't so sure her skills were up to scratch enough for her to qualify for a full scholarship.

Her dream to attend the same university and pursue the violin as a professional career just as her mother had slipped through her fingers in an instant. For her father to just stand by and allow that to happen - the betrayal burned deep.

She was never going to fall in love. It was pointless and toxic. Those people were only employing someone else to love them because they didn't love themselves. She didn't need something like that to come and mess up her life anymore than it already was.

No, if she was going to do anything from now on it would be to live for herself.

Starting with a place to live.

Andou-san had given her a call and asked her to meet at the apartment she had been interested in. The only thing that had stopped her from taking the place straight away had been the price - she'd never had a job before in her life and suddenly needing to pay 70,000 yen a month was a scary thought. But if she worked hard, things just might work out.

Except when she arrived at apartment 707, she was surprised and immediately self-conscious of two other women inspecting the place - under the watchful eye of another realtor agent and Andou-san.

"My customer has already decided to live here." The other realtor agent was saying, referring to the dark-haired woman who looked like she belonged in a punk band. As she was mentioned, she turned slightly from where she had been peering out of the window.

The other woman who had more of an innocent aura about her immediately gasped and pointed at her in shock.

"Nana! It's Nana! What a coincidence!"

As she charged forward to meet Nana, the dark-haired woman stared blankly.

"Who are you?"  
The woman tripped over her feet in shock and her face must have shown it as well because Nana laughed good-naturedly and helped the woman to her feet.

"Sorry about that. Are you okay, Nana-chan?"  
Another Nana? Before Shion had a chance to think about anything else, Andou-san had spotted her.

"Ah, Nishimura-san - you're here as well. This is good."  
Shion immediately lowered her head and took a step back as the focus of the conversation. "If you wanted to tell me you'd already given this place to someone else you could have just said on the phone."

Andou-san smiled. "That's not it. I actually had an idea although it would seem with Osaki-san here as well my plan will have to change a little." He nodded towards the dark-haired Nana.

What he said piqued the interest of the other peppier Nana. "Plan? What are you talking about Andou-san?"

The older man rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Ah, I thought it would be good for Nishimura-san and you to share the apartment so that neither of you live alone. You've only just moved to Tokyo Komatsu-san, and Nishimura-san has only just graduated from high school."

He continued. "However it would seem that Komatsu-san and Osaki-san know each other from a previous encounter, and if Osaki-san is also interested in this apartment, perhaps this arrangement could benefit all three of you."

"You mean, the three of us would live together?" Komatsu-san asked, wide-eyed.

"Well there's a kitchen, and three seperate bedrooms. It not only keeps your privacy, but the three of you would be able to help each other out in the case of an emergency. It would be a really good idea to live together. And both the living cost and the rent will be split into three."

Shion perked up at the mention of money. This last detail seemed to also appeal to Komatsu-san and Osaki-san.

"What's a third of 70,000 yen?" Osaki-san asked excitedly.

"About 24,000 yen, give or take~!" Komatsu-san sang.

"So cheap~!" They sighed happily.

As the two of them made a big fuss, Shion saw the other realtor turn to Andou-san.

"I suppose you'll take two-thirds of the commission then." He said accusingly, as if that had been Andou-san's plan all along. Well, who knows? Maybe it had.

Komatsu-san was decided. "Let's do this, Nana!" Then remembering Shion she skipped towards her with a bright smile on her face. "Nishimura-san… was it? What do you think?"

Shion averted her eyes and looked at the ground. "It's… preferable for me as well… The lower rent, I mean."

"Then it's decided!" She said.

"But are you the type that can keep other people's privacy?" Osaki-san directed the question at Komatsu-san.

"Of course!" Komatsu-san said.

"If you really want to keep your privacy, I would suggest you put locks in each room." Andou-san piped up. "I'll do that for you right away."  
Komatsu-san hugged him. "_Arigatou, Andou-san!_You're such a nice person! Right, Nana?"  
The other realtor agent was already asking Osaki-san to reject the offer.

"You'll only have trouble by living with other people." He was saying in a hushed voice.

Osaki-san stared at him, expressionless. "Not really. You're such a lonely man."

With that she walked towards Andou-san. "_Ne_, Andou-san? When can you put the locks on for the bedrooms?"

He thought about it. "If I start now, it'll be done before noon tomorrow."  
Osaki-san smiled. "Please do. I'll move in here by tomorrow afternoon"  
She turned to Komatsu-san. "What about you?" It was like she'd been struck by lighting. Somehow she reminded Shion of an eager puppy.

"W-well me too!" Komatsu-san said.

Osaki-san finally turned her attention to Shion, who had been quietly letting everything unfold.

"And you?"

Shion thought about it carefully. She'd rather not move in at the same time - more than anything she just wanted to be alone. Not to mention… when she'd left the house that morning, her stepmother had told her not to come back. All her things were already in her backpack, which she had on her, and she carried her violin case everywhere anyway.

"If it's okay, I would like to move in immediately." She said. "I don't have anywhere else to go. The rest of my money will be going towards the deposit here."

Andou-san looked surprised. "It's not usually the way we would do it but… I suppose if the other two aren't against it, it should be fine."  
Osaki-san and Komatsu-san nodded their agreement.

"Then it's settled." Andou-san said. "You can stay here tonight, and Osaki-san and Komatsu-san will join you tomorrow. Please make sure to send in all the paperwork as soon as possible so I can secure you your own keys."

Osaki-san offered her hand to Shion who hesitated before quickly shaking it. The handshake between Komatsu-san and Osaki-san seemed to somehow be more dramatic.

"Let's take care of each other starting tomorrow, Nana-chan." The dark-haired woman said with a cool smile.  
Komatsu-san beamed and shook her hand.

As everyone turned to leave, Osaki-san eyed Shion with interest. "You never introduced yourself by the way."

Shion just bowed her head. "_Nishimura Shion desu._"

"I'm Osaki Nana." The older woman said with a small smile. "See you tomorrow, Shion-chan."

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•


	2. housemates

Around noon the next day Shion heard the first signs of one of her new housemates arriving. Judging from the noise they were making about needing to take a bath as soon as possible, it was probably Osaki Nana-san.

"See? Didn't I tell you I'd found a good place? You worry over nothing, Yasu." Osaki-san said.

The man she had been speaking to had a deep voice. "Are the others not here yet?"

"Shion-chan said she'd be staying here overnight. I wonder if she's still here." Footsteps approached the room Shion had been staying in and she backed away from the door where she'd been listening intently. Thankfully Andou-san had been true to his word and had finished installing the locks on the bedroom doors earlier that morning, but even behind a locked door she still felt awkward.

The anxiety she felt compelled her to keep that door locked at all times.

"Oi~ Shion-chan?" Osaki-san called out. "Are you in there?"

_Don't reply. You musn't reply. Pretend to still be asleep! She'll never know!_

But she hated lying - it ate away at her.

Eventually she managed to squeak out, "_H-hai!_"

If Osaki-san noticed her nervousness she didn't show it. "I'm gonna be taking a bath now but Yasu is gonna be sticking around for a while to sort some things out. Don't feel awkward about it, 'kay?"

How did she know? Shion felt blood rising to her cheeks. "Yeah. Okay."

When she heard Osaki-san disappear into the bathroom and begin running the bath, Shion turned around to study her new room properly. She'd spent the morning while Andou-san had been there dusting and cleaning everything down. It hadn't been a very comfortable night and she'd barely slept at all with the lack of heating that night and no bed or futon to sleep in - but she'd huddled up in the corner, bundled in layers of clothing until she'd finally dozed off for a couple of hours.

Her father had called her that morning as well confirming that he'd settled the deposit for her apartment and had transferred some extra money into her account to cover anything she might need to get settled.

As her father and stepmother would also be moving to their new flashy apartment very soon, they'd arranged to have a van deliver all of her old bedroom furniture in the next day or so.

She'd chosen the smallest room of the three in the apartment, not wanting to cause a drama if Osaki-san and Komatsu-san were the type of people to care about that kind of thing. It suited her just fine because she liked the way her bedroom window overlooked the river that ran alongside the road to the red-brick building. The beige walls were looking a bit aged but it was nothing a coat of paint couldn't fix. All in all, she was just relieved to have a roof over her head.

So with a home settled, her next mission would be to find a job. Just the thought of it made her stomach churn with anxiety. People. She'd have to deal with people.

_Why is that so impossible for me?_

Shion had been collecting flyers and newspaper articles that contained job positions that she was interested in applying for. The one that stood out the most to her, and the one she thought might be easier to deal with was a small record store downtown. It seemed like a nice enough place and the manager was looking for a full-time assistant.

"I guess I can start with that first." She told herself. "I'll go out, see if they're interested in hiring me, grab some groceries and then come back. It'll be fine."

With her plan all set, she began to get ready - pulling a sweater over her head and wriggling into black jeans. She swung her backpack over her shoulder and, taking a deep breath, unlocked the bedroom door.

A tall, bald man sat by the window - a cigarette dangling in the corner of his mouth and sunglasses covering his eyes. He looked like a secret agent, someone you would find in a Hollywood movie with his black suit. He looked cool but also…

_Scary!_ Shion averted her eyes and bowed in his direction respectfully as she emerged from her room.

"I'm Nishimura Shion. It's nice to meet you."

The man gave her a small smile. "Takagi Yasushi. I'm friends with Osaki Nana."

Before she could speak again, the doorbell went off and Shion flinched. She lived here so… getting the door was her responsibility, right?

_You can't! You need to hide!_ She must have looked like a rabbit caught in headlights because Takagi-san stepped towards the door instead. "It's okay. I'll get that."

He opened the door only to find a small gathering outside. It was Komatsu-san, and listening to the people with her it seemed as though she brought her boyfriend and some other friends along.

More people to escape from.

Surprised by Takagi-san's sudden appearance Komatsu-san stuttered out her apologies for getting the wrong room. Just as the chaos and shouting seemed to get worse, the bathroom door burst open and Osaki-san - wrapped only in a towel - came out raging about no hot water.

With the appearance of Osaki-san, Komatsu-san was over the moon. It was a good enough commotion that Shion could probably slip out without anyone taking notice of her.

Komatsu-san's boyfriend Shoji, and her friends Junko and Kyousuke were introduced. Takagi-san was in the middle of introducing himself as well and explaining to Osaki-san about the need to call the gas company first.

This was her chance! Shion sidled past everyone seemingly successful until someone - Shoji - suddenly pointed at her with a sudden, "Ah!"

Komatsu-san smiled brightly at her again. "Nishimura-san? Did you sleep well?"

Her friend Junko studied Shion carefully. "Nishimura_-san_? I thought your other housemate had just finished high school."

Komatsu-san smiled sheepishly. "Well, ah~ I don't know her full name yet."

Shion bowed again. "_Nishimura Shion desu. _Please take care of me, Komatsu-san."

And before she knew it Komatsu-san had thrown her arms around Shion, giggling happily. "I'm so glad the three of us can live together~! It's going to be so fun! And on top of that you're such a cute girl Shion-chan! I can call you Shion-chan, right? Is that okay?"

If she was hugged any tighter her lungs would burst. "It's… okay…"

"Great!" Komatsu-san released her grip and bounced back, eyes shining. Her demeanor definitely resembled that of a puppy.

"So you've just finished high school, Shion-chan?" Junko regarded her carefully. "What are you going to study now? Are you going to university? Technical school?"

Shion fiddled with her hands. "I'm… looking for work actually."

"Eh? Really? You really seem like the type to study hard." Komatsu-san said.

Junko eyed her friend. "And what would you know about studying hard, Nana?"

Komatsu-san gave her friend the same innocent puppy eyes. "They have an aura~ You know, you and Shoji and Kyousuke all have a '_ganbarimasu!'_ aura."

"'_Ganbarimasu'_ aura? What the hell is that?" Shoji chortled, and then he stopped himself. "Although, it is true that I work _incredibly _hard."

"Don't encourage her Shoji." Junko sighed.

Shion couldn't help but stifle a giggle. Then she realised that Komatsu-san was staring at her with pride.

"You laughed! I'm so glad~ I thought that secretly you were really uncomfortable living with both of us. Let's really get along, _ne_ Shion-chan?"

_Well hold on just a second - I really am secretly uncomfortable with this arrangement._ Shion just bowed her head again. "Please take care of me, Komatsu-san."

"_Komatsu-san_?" She laughed. "Call me Nana! It's fine - everyone says I act like a high schooler still anyway."

"Then, Nana… -san."

Nana-san patted her on the back cheerfully. "We'll work on it. Are you going out now?"

Shion nodded. "I'm job-hunting today."

The other woman smiled. "Good luck! Later, let's exchange email addresses, kay?"

"Y-yeah."

She bowed again and bade goodbye to all of their visitors, and her two housemates. As soon as she'd descended down the seven flights of stairs her head was whirling and not just from the exertion.

It was starting to set in. Being kicked out. Moving in with strangers. Being independent.

_I'm not ready for this at all. Not at all._


	3. new connections

"_Sumimasen._" Shion plastered her face with her best fake smile as she approached the owner behind the desk of the record store. It wasn't a very large shop but it was snug and homely. It seemed that the store got on just well enough to get by without being so popular that it was bustling with eager customers. It was a relaxed atmosphere, perfect for someone to come in and quietly appreciate music.

In short, it was the perfect job for her.

The owner Yoshida-san, was a middle-aged man and he smiled at her when he noticed the job flyer she'd picked up earlier. "Are you perhaps here to apply for the position we have available?"  
She nodded, and relaxed slightly. It was quiet here and he seemed friendly - what was the harm in it?  
"Excellent. I was worried that I wasn't going to find someone anytime soon. Our store is a bit tucked away so not many people pass by. Ah - but that won't affect your pay."

She did her best to match his smile, fiddling with the sleeves of her sweater. He seemed to notice her nervousness.

"You seem quite young still - are you a high school student? Do your parents know you're looking for work here?"

She shook her head. "I… just graduated. I moved into my apartment yesterday, so now I'm looking for a job."

"I see." Yoshida-san nodded thoughtfully and then grinned. "Well, I'd be happy to take you on Miss…?"

"Nishimura Shion." She said, bowing her head. "Thank you for this opportunity."

He rubbed the back of his neck, a bit sheepish. "Ah, it's nothing. I could do with an assistant since it seems my age is catching up to me. If you could work every weekday and Saturday, I'd be happy to give you Fridays off."

She bowed again. "That would be perfect. Thank you. When can I start?"

He laughed. "So eager. Then I'd appreciate it if you could come in on Tuesday. I have another part-timer starting then and it would be good if I could show you the ropes at the same time."

"Tuesday then." Shion said. It was Thursday now, so she had a lot of time to kill.

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

On the way to the closest grocery store, Shion bumped into her two housemates.

"Shion-chan! How did it go?" Nana-san asked, eyes shining. If she had a tail it would definitely be wagging.

"It was… okay. I start next week."

"I'm so happy for you! You're so lucky to find a job so quickly." Nana-san sighed. "I'm still trying."

It felt weird to see the usually cheerful woman so downcast. "Oh, um… I'm sure you'll also find a job soon, Nana-san. You're very energetic. People would be lucky to have someone like you."

She perked up immediately. "Really? Do you think so?"

Osaki-san observed their exchanged with amusement. "Energetic, huh? _Ne_, Shion-chan, don't you think she's like a dog?"

Before she could stop herself Shion found herself nodding solemnly. Nana-san blushed.

"Not you too!"  
Shion immediately bowed her head in apology. "I'm sorry."

"Oh, _iie_ \- I was just joking you know." Nana-san then laughed. "We're going to look for some furniture in a shop nearby, wanna come?"

"Actually I was going to buy some food first." Shion said, hesitating before adding, "Is there anything you'd like me to get for you?"  
"Beer would be nice." Osaki-san said dreamily. "Oh, but you're still underage… Well, I guess I can drop by later anyway. If you could buy some stuff for dinner tonight then we'll come up with a plan for food later. How's that?"

Shion nodded. "Okay. I'll… do my best."  
Osaki-san flashed her a smile. "Thanks. Oh, you don't have a key yet, right?" The dark-haired woman fished around her jacket pocket and then brandished a small key in front of her face. The metal was warm under Shion's fingers as she took it.

Osaki-san turned to her other companion, "Let's go then, Hachi."

Nana-san pulled a face, "Hachi? So mean, Nana!"

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

With grocery shopping out the way Shion headed back home, hands occupied with shopping bags. It was almost evening and the sun had begun to set, leaving the sky with a hazy orange glow accentuated by the streetlights. When she got back to the road that lead along the river, she stopped to sit by the riverbank, setting the bags down and bringing her knees up to her chin as she watched the water ebb and flow.

It wasn't a busy road so you could barely hear the noise of the city from here.

"This is nice." She murmured under her breath, bringing her head to rest on her knees. "Really… nice."

Her eyelids drooped, her lack of sleep catching up to her but she snapped awake when she realised she still had the key Osaki-san gave her.

Brushing her clothes off, she quickly got to her feet and hurried back to the building groceries in hand and making every flight of stairs painful to climb up.

Room 707. She'd rushed out that morning without really taking in anything. The metal of the key was warm in her hand as she opened the door to the empty apartment.

"_Tadaima_." She whispered under her breath.

She finished putting away the shopping and was mortified that she hadn't realised they didn't have a fridge yet. Thankfully she hadn't bought anything that required one.

Her housemates had yet to return.

"I wonder where they ended up going." She muttered. Even though she wasn't the biggest fan of people, being here by herself only made her feel more lonely.

It reminded her of one her favourite songs to play: _Kojou no Tsuki._ Before she knew it she'd found her way back into her room and unzipped her violin case, hands stroking the cool wood.

Somehow she felt like playing while looking out over the river. The window view would do.

Her hands moved into position and with her bow poised and ready, she began to play.

_Flowery feast in spring high up in the castle_

_Cups of sake were passed around_

_Lit by the moonlight through the old pine branches_

_Where is that old moonlight now?_

_Encampment in autumn was white covered with frost_

_A number of geese honked as they flew across the sky_

_The moonlight shined on the swords thrusted upright into the ground_

_Where is that old moonlight now?_

_Now at midnight the moon is right above_

_For whom does it shine like in the past?_

_Nothing remains on the rampart but some ivy_

_Nothing to hear but the rustle of pine branches in the storm_

_Up in the sky the moon and the stars remain unchanged_

_But in the earthly life, rises and falls come and go_

_Does the moon hang there to reflect those changes?_

_Ah! the midnight moon over the ruined castle_

The last note lingered before suddenly there came a burst of applause from behind her and Shion's heart plummeted.

Nana-san and Osaki-san had returned and they were beaming in her doorway. Part of her flushed with relief that she'd sounded okay. The other part of her just wanted the ground to swallow her. Already her mind was going over her previous performance and scanning it for errors that her unknown audience might have picked up on.

"That was amazing, Shion-chan!" Osakii-san enthused. "I wondered what was in that case - so you're a violinist, huh?"

Nana-san on the other hand was wiping away a tear from her eye. "I really felt it." She sniffled. "The loneliness in your playing… It sounded so beautiful but… so sad." Osaki-san just grinned and ruffled her hair.

"It's raw emotion, Hachi! That's the best thing about music! Hey, Shion-chan - will you play for us again?" Immediately Shion was shaking her head. "I couldn't. I'm really not very good and that was the first time I'd played in a long time so it really won't sound good."

Osaki-san frowned. "I don't think you have to worry about that as much as you are. You want to hear her play too, right Hachi?"

Nana-san smiled sheepishly. "Actually… I have to get ready to meet Shoji so… maybe another time?"

"Oh right, I forgot." The other woman said with an amused expression. "Yes, you go and have fun. Me and Shion-chan can wait for the furniture to come."

"Furniture?" Shion asked, who had begun loosening her bow and wiping away the stray rosin on the violin.

"Yeah, we've bought some stuff from a shop down the road. Mizukoshi said he'll drop it off later but he'll probably need a hand to get it up the stairs."

"I even managed to get a job working there!" Nana-san said cheerfully. "So I'm gonna celebrate with Shoji!" With that she disappeared into her own room, humming happily under her breath.

"Guess we only have to worry about dinner for the two of us tonight then." Osaki-san said. "What did you end up getting?" Shion followed her out to the kitchen where Osaki-san began rummaging through the cupboards.

"It's not much." Shion said quickly. "I'm not that good at cooking so I just bought simple stuff. Rice, noodles, eggs, and some vegetables…"

"This'll be enough for tonight." Osaki-san said. "Is there anything in particular you feel like having?"

Shion hesitated.

"Shion-chan?" Osaki-san smiled encouragingly.

"Well," Shion began. "I'd like… omurice."

"Omurice?" Osaki-san repeated, a hint of amusement twinkling in her eyes. "Got it. Omurice it is. I guess for now we can just put the rice on - oh wait."

Shion looked at her quizzically.

"I may have forgotten that we asked Mizukoshi to drop off our kitchen stuff at the same time as the furniture… so it looks like we won't be eating until after we've helped get everything in."

Osaki-san smiled apologetically. "Sorry about that. Are you hungry now? We can always go to the convenience store."

"No it's okay. Let's just wait then."

They didn't have to wait very long. No sooner had she said it, the doorbell went off.

Osaki-san threw it open and welcomed in a tall man who Shion guessed was the owner to the furniture store. He was carrying a large cardboard box with a plastic carrier bag balanced precariously on top.

"Mizukoshi! Thanks for bringing everything!" Osaki-san said with a grin taking the box from him and putting it down next to the kitchen counter. "Need any help getting the rest of the stuff up?"

Mizukoshi's face flooded with relief at the offer. "If you would. I can't believe this building doesn't have an elevator."

She laughed and turned to Shion. "If you stay up here and start unpacking, I'll help Mizukoshi. That okay with you, Shion-chan?"

"Oh um, I can help too if you need me?" Shion offered. Osaki-san shook her head. "Nah it's okay. The two of us will manage, right?" She turned to the large man and he nodded.

"Nothing's too heavy, it's just getting them up the stairs which is gonna be tough."

The two of them left, leaving the door open on the way out. Shion quickly began unpacking what Mizukoshi had already brought up. Inside the cardboard box was a rice cooker, some bowls and plates, and a small frying pan. Inside the plastic bag on top was cutlery, and most noticeably three small glasses with a strawberry pattern. It definitely seemed like something Nana-san would pick out.

The first wave from Osaki-san and Mizukoshi brought in a dresser that was destined for Nana-san's room and a futon.

"That's for you, Shion-chan." Osaki-san said, wiping her forehead. "We noticed you didn't have anything in your room yet."

"It's okay, you don't need to-"

Osaki-san patted her shoulder. "It's fine! Me and Hachi have got bed frames and mattresses coming up, but we didn't know what your situation was and we felt bad just leaving you with nothing. It's a gift, okay?"

"Thank you." Shion mumbled. The act of consideration left her heart aching. When the other two disappeared back down the stairs, she took the futon into her room and quickly set it up for later that night. Already it stared at her, and she wanted nothing more than to collapse into it and sleep forever; the exhaustion from the previous night catching up to her.

While they continued to bring things up, Shion took the opportunity to put the rice on with the rice cooker that had arrived. Hopefully it would be ready by the time Osaki-san had finished up. She also put up all the curtains in the house and made beds up for Nana-san and Osaki-san. More than anything she just wanted to prove that she was useful to her new housemates.

Thankfully within the next forty minutes Osaki-san had declared everything had arrived and Mizukoshi bid them both goodbye. She looked so tired that Shion couldn't help herself.

"I can handle dinner by myself, Osaki-san." She said quietly. "You should go and get some rest. I made your bed - I can call you when I'm finished."  
Osaki-san smiled gratefully. "You're a gem, Shion-chan." Shion blushed and looked away.

The older woman disappeared into her room with a CD in her hands and closed the door and Shion got on with dinner. Omurice was easy to make and the first real thing she learned how to cook but it also reminded her of happier days, when her father would make it for her and write silly messages in ketchup on top. She'd always laugh as she gobbled down the food while her stepmother looked on with unapproving eyes.

_Don't think about that anymore._ She told herself firmly. _You've left that part of your life behind you now. You've moved on._

When she'd finished making two servings on the plates they'd bought, she searched for the ketchup she had bought and the bottle hovered over the food as she thought on what to write. None of the messages she'd written before seemed appropriate. Eventually she settled on the traditional _ganbare!_.

"Osaki-san?" She tested the door which was unlocked and peered inside. Osaki-san was sprawled on her bed, chest rising and falling slowly and eyes closed. She could hear faintly the music from the earbuds that were still in the woman's ears.

"Osaki-san?" Shion said again. "Are you awake?"

No answer.

Not wanting to wake her up, Shion quickly retreated back to the kitchen where she finished her own meal quickly, barely tasting it before she covered Osaki-san's portion with plastic wrap and tucked it away into the fridge that they'd plugged in that evening.

Exhaustion was now also threatening to pull her under as well and she headed to her room. She didn't bother undressing and just sank into the futon with a relieved sigh before her eyes drooped and darkness took her.

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

When Shion woke up to the sound of hammering she was horrified to see she'd slept into the afternoon. By the time she'd dragged herself up it was almost one o'clock. In the room outside she could hear Osaki-san humming to herself happily. It didn't seem as though anyone else was home.

Shion slowly opened her bedroom door.

Osaki-san was nailing pieces of wood together - when she focused properly Shion made out that it was a table. Upon seeing her staring, Osaki-san grinned at her. "What'dya think? I wanted to surprised Hachi since she was feeling disappointed about not finding a table that fit by the window properly."

"It's good." Shion said. "Nana-san will love it."

Osaki-san twirled the hammer in her hands as she studied Shion carefully. "Sorry about last night. I was shattered. The omurice was great though - I had it for lunch."

Shion gave her a small smile in response.

"Oh! Hachi brought back burgers from her date last night. I've already had mine so help yourself to the other one." She nodded towards the fridge where a paper bag rested on top with the writing: _For Nana and Shion-chan!_

"Thank you." Shion said awkwardly. This talking thing, it was weird. Last night it seemed like she was doing well and here she was struggling to make conversation again. The embarrassment just made her want to run back to her room again. Was it because she'd just woken up?

Whatever the case, Osaki-san didn't seem to mind. In fact, she seemed to understand more than anything. She smiled. "Still adjusting to life away from your family?"

Shion swallowed. "I guess. I'm just not good… with people. Moving out and everything… it was so sudden that I didn't really get time to process it."

Osaki-san nodded. "I get it. Hey, later tonight we're gonna have dinner and share stories. Wanna join us? No pressure."

Maybe it was her sympathetic nature, or the way Osaki-san seemed to carry her own feelings of loneliness that made Shion feel comforted by her presence. Strangely enough despite only knowing her for a couple of days, she felt safe around Osaki-san and had a sense of security that she hadn't felt in a long time.

"Okay. If it's not too much trouble."

Osaki-san grinned. "That's the spirit! Look forward to it Shion-chan."

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•


	4. bonding

Osaki-san was still working on the table by the time Nana-san came home later that night, having spent the previous night with her boyfriend Shoji. Shion had made a stew for the three of them to have for dinner which earned her a grateful hug from an amazed Nana-san.

"Your cardboard boxes are inside your room." Osaki-san said as Nana-san gawked at the homemade table. "I've also given the insurance stuff to Andou-san and the water's come in so you can go take a hot bath."

Nana-san looked as though she might die from happiness. Her eyes welled up and she latched onto Osaki-san. "Thank you Nana!" Nana-san quickly disappeared into the bathroom. Shion checked on the stew for the hundredth time, feeling awkward. It felt rude to return to her room, but there wasn't anything to do out here either until Osaki-san finished her task.

Fortunately Osaki-san was just about done.

The older woman stood up stretching. "Ah~ Finally finished." She turned to Shion with a grin.

"Well, Shion-chan? Wha'dya think?"  
"It's amazing, Osaki-san." She replied. "You'd never be able to tell we didn't buy it."

Osaki-san put a black cigarette in the corner of her mouth and lit it up with a smirk.

"It's nothing. I had the tools and stuff handy from a construction site nearby." She gestured to the seats by the window where the table had been set up.

"Give it a try." Shion had just sat down when Nana-san came bursting out of the bathroom absolutely glowing.

"This is fantastic Nana!" She squealed, joining Shion to sit next to her. "It fits so nicely by the window - maybe you'll become a carpenter! A female carpenter, so cool!"

Shion watched Osaki-san closely. "While it's good, I think if I did such work everyday… I probably wouldn't be able to play the guitar anymore."

Nana-san went quiet. "Oh… guitar." Then she gasped. "_Ne_Nana… Are you planning to become a professional guitarist?"

_I didn't know Osaki-san was a musician._Shion thought to herself. No wonder she looked like a rock star. She probably _was_.

"No way!" Osaki-san laughed. "How could I think of becoming a professional guitarist when my guitar playing isn't even that good?"

"But don't you play guitar in a band?" Nana-san asked.

"Oh that." Osaki-san said. "I'm not a guitarist. Just a vocalist."

Shion stared at her in awe. So Osaki-san could play guitar _and_sing?

"You're a vocalist?! _That's so cool!_" Nana-san squealed. "So both you and Shion-chan play music?!"

Shion excused herself to get the stew ready, squeezing past Nana-san to begin scooping the stew into three bowls. No doubt Osaki-san would want beer, so she only filled two strawberry glasses with water. Nana-san didn't strike her as the beer type.

"Save those words till after you've heard me sing." Osaki-san said, accepting the bowl of stew and can of beer with a smile. Nana-san did the same and let Shion take the window seat before sliding in next to her.

_"Itadakimasu._" She muttered under her breath before tucking in quietly, not realising the other two were watching her.

"Shion-chan." Nana-san said brightly. "Tell us more about yourself!"

"There's… not much to tell." She mumbled, feeling her cheeks get warm. "I graduated from high school… and then I moved out."

"But what about the other things?" Nana-san persisted. "What are your family like? How long have you been playing violin? What are your other friends like?"

"My family are… normal, I guess. I've never really had friends. And the violin… I've been playing ever since I can remember." Shion stiffened as she remembered that she should have been extremely skilled by now had she not neglected practising at home due to her stepmother's complaints.

_"What's that dreadful noise, dear?" Her stepmother asked loudly while Shion was practising scales in her room. Shion did her best to block out the gossip and continue with practice._

_"Ah, Shion practises violin in her room for a few hours each day. She's really quite good - I enjoy listening to it; she's as good as her mother."_

_Her stepmother scoffed. "I thought you said her mother was a professional? She can't have sounded like this. It's horrible. I've got such a headache. She should find somewhere else to take that racket."_

_"But-"_

_"It's a health issue, dear. You know how badly I suffer from migraines."_

_A few moments later Otou-san knocked softly on her bedroom door and let himself in._

_Shion stopped what she was doing. _

_"It seems that ah, your stepmother's having a rough time with her migraines at the moment." He said, avoiding her eyes. "So Shion, do you think you can keep the practices at school from now on? They have music rooms you can borrow, right?"_

_"No." Shion said. "It's an elementary school Otou-san. There's only the music classroom and we can only practice in there for an hour after school."_

_"Sorry kid." Otou-san said. "But you need to be considerate of your stepmother's health. You can always practice when she isn't home."_

_"She's almost always at home." Shion said. "I can't just practise for an hour a day. It's not enough!"_

_"Shion." Her father said her name firmly, and she knew it wasn't up for negotiation._

_"Fine."_

"Anyway, Shion-chan." Osaki-san piped up. "You don't need to be so formal with us you know? We're housemates after all."

"But… you're both older than me." Shion said, pushing her stew around in her bowl.

"It's only a couple of years. Being called _Osaki-san _makes me feel old. Call me Nana."

"I can't…"

Osaki-san didn't give in. "Come on~ It's gotta be easier for you too. _Osaki-san_is such a mouthful. Try it: Nana."

Shion could feel the blood rushing to her head. "Na… na. Nana."

Nana smiled at her. "And now: Hachi."

"Ha...chi."

Beside her Hachi complained quietly but she didn't seem to be truly unhappy with the nickname. Instead she even smiled encouragingly when Shion repeated herself again, still dizzy.

"My housemates are… Nana and… Hachi."

"Atta girl." Nana said, pumping her fist in the air, triumphant. "And we'll just call you Shion too. Simple." Shion nodded.

Afterwards the focus left Shion and went to Nana instead. Hachi wanted to know about the origins of the lotus tattoo on Nana's arm.

"Isn't that a Hasu flower?" Hachi was saying. "Why a Hasu flower? Is it a religion thing?"

Nana finished another mouthful of stew and looked thoughtful. "Nope. It's a Ren flower."

"You mean Suiren?" Hachi said.

"No. Just Ren."

"A Hasu thing?" Hachi wondered.

"No." Nana repeated.

Hachi kept going. "But it should read as 'Hasu', not 'Ren'." She insisted, referring to the kanji of the flower in question.

"Oh shut up." Nana told her impatiently, finishing her meal. Shion stifled a giggle. It was nice, this atmosphere. If every day was like this one, then being around people wasn't as scary.

The doorbell rang at that moment, and Shion's stomach exploded with anxiety. So much for thinking she'd gotten a bit better. Was it that man Takagi-san again? Or maybe Hachi's friends from before? Either way she immediately felt trapped, unable to retreat to her room due to Hachi boxing her in.

_Why did I take the window seat?_She panicked, butterflies fluttering in her stomach.

"I wonder who it could be at a time like this." Hachi said, as Nana got up to get the door.

Outside they heard a deep voice. "Osaki-san. I've brought your baggage."

"It's Yasu!" Hachi said. "Yasu came to deliver."

"Geez," Nana said. "I never expected for him to be that fast."

But when the dark-haired woman opened the door it wasn't Takagi-san. From where she was sitting Shion couldn't quite make out who it was, but Nana was stood frozen in the doorway.

"Good evening." It wasn't the same deep voice from before. Rather it sounded more boyish, like it belonged to someone around their own age instead.

"NOBU! What the hell are you doing here!?"

The man outside the door laughed. "Ahhh! That's just great. I've been anticipating that reaction."

Hachi got up from her seat to go and see the visitor, and Shion took her opportunity to slide out of the seat and run back into her room, leaving the door slightly cracked open so she could still observe the visitor from afar.

Hachi invited him to have some of the stew that was still leftover and he eagerly accepted. As he crossed the room to sit down at the table, Shion finally saw him for the first time.

Nobu was a young man, around Nana and Hachi's age as Shion had thought. His hair was dyed blonde and was styled in spikes. He quickly shrugged off his leather jacket as he eagerly tucked into the stew, wolving down bite after bite.

"This is hella good!" He declared, a little in awe. He smiled at Hachi.

"You're gonna be a great wife one day, Nana-chan. You're called 'Nana' too, but you're so different!"

"I'm sure Shion will be pleased to hear it." Nana said, eyeing him carefully as she opened another can of beer. "She's been doing her best in the kitchen since she moved in. It's been a big help."

"Shion?" Her heart skipped a beat and she quickly hid her face from where she had been peering when he scanned the room presumably for her.

"I don't see anyone else. Is she out?"

Nana shook her head. "She's here but she's not good with strangers. I'll leave it to her whether or not she wants to come out. In any case, what the hell are you doing here?"

"Hey, I brought your luggage over!" He protested. "I travelled eight hours by car for you - you should be grateful!"

"Well, thank you for your effort." Nana's voice was full of sarcasm. "Now that you've ceased to be useful…" She grabbed his arm and dragged him back to the front door, shoving him out.

"GET YOUR ASS BACK TO INAKA!"

"Nana!" He quickly forced himself back into the entrance again and fell on his knees.

"I'm begging you! Please let me stay over - just for one night!"

"No way." Nana refused.

"But the truth is I-"

"I don't wanna hear it."

Hachi quickly intervened. "Why are you so mean to him? Isn't he your friend? Look at poor Nobu-kun."

Nobu grinned. "You can call me Nobu, Nana-chan - I'm already used to that treatment so it's not a big deal."

Hachi turned to him with her trademark smile. "We don't have anything here, but you're welcome to stay if you want to."

"Thank you~!" Nobu said. "You're such a nice girl Nana-chan."

"Well, I refuse." Nana said. "And what about Shion? He'll make her feel uncomfortable in her own home. That's not fair to her either." At the mention of herself again, Shion felt her throat tighten. The last thing she wanted was for this Nobu person to blame her if she got kicked out, or to think that she felt uncomfortable because of him.

_It's not exactly untrue but it still feels rude to admit it._

"I'm sure we can introduce them. Once Shion sees he's not a bad person she'll understand. Why are you so hard on him?"

"I'm doing this for his own good!" Nana yelled. She pointed at Nobu.

"You know better Nobu. You're the successor to that Terashima Resort owned by your parents!"

He pouted. "But I want to live my life the way I want it to be."

"You don't know how lucky you are!" Nana fired back. "You have such a stable and happy future to look forward to. Why throw it all away?"

"Well, it's my choice if I want to throw it all away! And… I'm happy simply by playing my guitar!" He lowered his voice and his face suddenly became downcast. "And you singing along with it."

The mood become sour, and no one else spoke. Eventually Nana got up and pulled another cigarette out.

"_Ne_, Nana." Hachi began. "Whatever it is, let him stay over for the night. It's late. Okay?"

Nana said nothing.

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

Shion had been lying in her futon, eyes shut as she tried to drift off when she heard the sound of a guitar being played in the room outside her door.

"What's this…?" She could faintly hear Nana say. "We only have one fan for today? Well, it started out like this too. One person is better than nothing."

It sounded like Nobu laughed.

"Good evening." Nana said. "We're BLAST. This is our first live in Tokyo. We'll make this a night you will never forget."

Hachi clapped her hands and then the song began.

At some point Shion had crawled out of bed and opened the door - not just a little way as she had before, but this time wide open. The sound of the guitar that Nobu played, and the sound of Nana's harsh voice singing along with no actual lyrics - just throwing in some English words every now and then - resonated deeply with her. They looked so at ease performing together, so free. It was obvious the two of them were close friends despite their argument earlier. Her heart ached at the thought of a friendship like that.

When the song ended Nana, who had been singing on top of the table, waved at her with a grin.

"What did you think, Shion?"

Hachi hurried to her side, eyes full of concern. "_Ne_Shion? Are you okay? You're crying."

She hurriedly wiped her eyes. "It's fine."

When she looked up, she met the eyes of their visitor. Nobu smiled at her.

"You must be Shion-chan! Thanks for the food!" As was her habit she quickly dropped her gaze and bowed her head. "It's nothing. I, um… I really liked the song."

He beamed at her.

Nobu began putting Nana's guitar away while Nana herself went off to have a bath. At that moment someone began pounding the door and the anxious butterflies returned to Shion's stomach.

"Coming!" Hachi chirped, upbeat from the performance.

Her mood quickly changed when it became apparent that their neighbours weren't at all happy with the late night disturbance.

"We are sincerely sorry!" Hachi bowed deeply as she listened to each neighbour complain about 'young people' and 'what time do you think is it?'.

Shion quickly got to work doing the dishes, tiredness washing over her. She'd never been around people like this for so long, it was exhausting.

"Ah, I'll help you." Nobu said, coming to join her as she scrubbed away at the dishes.

_I'd rather do it on my own._

But she kept quiet, and nodded in thanks.

"You're pretty quiet, huh?" Nobu mused. "Sorry if we kept you up with our performance." He took one of the bowls and began to dry it.

"It's okay." She said, focusing on her work. "I… really enjoyed listening to both of you."

She traced the rim of one of the strawberry glasses. "Did you come to Tokyo… to play music with Nana?"

He nodded. "We just need more players. With the rhythm of the drums and the deep sound of a bass - I know we can be even better. I want to hurry up and find some new members so we can do a real concert." Then he lit up. "Do you play anything, Shion?"

She shook her head quickly. "I'm not really the… band type."

Nobu seemed disappointed. He finished drying up the stew pot with a sigh. "Maybe Nana-chan knows some people."

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

The next morning when Shion woke she felt lighter. In the corner of the room her violin case watched her. The music from the previous night played in her head on a loop. The song was haunting her.

_I want to play._

Seeing how the neighbours complained about the noise last night, she'd have to find somewhere else to go. A studio she could hire or something. She'd seen one nearby, almost by the place she was going to work at next week. It seemed like a good place to start.

With her case over one shoulder, she headed out.

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•


	5. peril

The studio was very accommodating and there was something about it that immediately put Shion at ease. Although she would only need to borrow a music stand in the future when she learned new pieces, the room also provided extra amps for guitarists or bassists, a microphone, a grand piano and a full drum kit. Nana or Nobu would probably have a field day if they were here.

The studio door itself had a small glass window which wasn't ideal but she had faith in the soundproofed walls. As long as she had her back to the door she'd be able to totally focus without fear of being seen or heard.

"I guess I should just… play." She placed her violin case carefully down on the floor and unzipped it slowly, inhaling as she did. Her violin was revealed - still as glossy as the day her father had given it to her. This had been one of her mother's violins - her favourite one, in fact. It was worth more than anything she had ever owned combined but she would never sell it. Her stepmother had gotten her father to put most remnants of her mother away in boxes or had them sold altogether.

This was the only thing that she had. All photos of her were gone and had Shion not seen them before her stepmother came into the picture she doubted she would even know what her mother looked like; she'd died due to complications in giving birth.

In a way, Shion had given all of her current misfortune to herself. Had her mother still been alive, her father never would have remarried. Shion's struggles were just the consequences of being born, and stealing away her mother's life.

She quickly wiped her eyes and grabbed her bow, tightening the horsehair until there was just a slight curve in the wood. With her shoulder rest on too, she lifted the instrument up and the cool wood chilled her chin. Taking a deep breath, she began to play the same melody she had before.

_Kojou no Tsuki._

_Flowery feast in spring high up in the castle_

_Cups of sake were passed around_

_Lit by the moonlight through the old pine branches_

_Where is that old moonlight now?_

_Encampment in autumn was white covered with frost_

_A number of geese honked as they flew across the sky_

_The moonlight shined on the swords thrusted upright into the ground_

_Where is that old moonlight now?_

_Now at midnight the moon is right above_

_For whom does it shine like in the past?_

_Nothing remains on the rampart but some ivy_

_Nothing to hear but the rustle of pine branches in the storm_

_Up in the sky the moon and the stars remain unchanged_

_But in the earthly life, rises and falls come and go_

_Does the moon hang there to reflect those changes?_

_Ah! the midnight moon over the ruined castle_

Over and over she repeated the song and each time her sound deteriorated - hammered by her unconfidence and uncertainty. All she could hear was how notes should have sounded; how her vibrato should have played into it; _how much better she should be playing._

"I can't do this anymore." Her arm ached and her fingertips were numb, half from the coldness of the room and half from pressing so hard on the strings. The emotional playing from the other day had vanished, leaving behind an unrefined mess in its place.

It really was a joke to think she could have gone to the same school as her mother. The thought made her vision blurry with tears.

"I'm sorry, _Okaa-san._" She whispered. "I'm sorry you gave your life for such a failure like me."

With that she quietly packed up her things and left.

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

Only Nobu was home when she returned and he was gently strumming Nana's unplugged guitar, eyes closed as though he was deep in thought. When Shion entered her mind was still reeling and it must have shown on her face because Nobu stopped what he was doing and regarded her with concern.

"Are you okay, Shion?" She could hear the kindness in his voice and she felt tears well up again.

"I'm… fine," she said, wiping her eyes with her sleeve and heading straight for her room. "Just tired."

Without another word she slipped inside her room and shut the door, falling against it and sliding to the floor with a bump.

All her anxieties were bubbling beneath her skin again. The chaos was rising to the surface and she buried her head in her hands, trying to keep her breathing under control quietly. The last thing she wanted was for Nobu to hear her lose control.

"Breathe." She commanded herself, already feeling winded. "Just. Breathe."

_Why was she on this earth? Why had her mother died? Why was she all alone?_

"I am breathing," she said firmly. "I'm not thinking about anything bad."

_All alone._

_All alone._

_Your father left you._

_Nobody wants you._

"Damn it! I'm fine!" Shion pinched her wrist hard and counted to ten, focusing on the uncomfortable sensation. Tears poured down her face and she couldn't help but remember Nobu's kind concern.

It only made her feel worse and before she knew it she was sobbing, keeping herself quiet except for the odd sniffle or sob that would escape. Hopefully Nobu was too busy with the guitar to notice.

She stayed there for what felt like hours and when the orange glow of sunset poured through her window she heard one of her housemates return.

"Ah, Nana." She heard Nobu say quietly. The rest of what he said was a hushed whisper that she couldn't quite make out but she soon heard heavy footsteps of Nana's combat boots heading towards her door.

Sure enough there was a knock.

"Shion? Everything okay in there?" Nana said.

Shion quickly cleared her throat, praying that it didn't betray her.

"Yeah, everything's fine." Her voice wobbled. _Please don't notice_. She prayed silently.

"Can you open the door for a sec then?"

Her eyes were red and puffy, she didn't need a mirror to know that. There were no excuses Shion could think of quickly enough to ignore Nana's request. So she wiped her face and opened the door.

"You look terrible." Nana said, not unkindly.

Shion stood there in silence. Nana threw her arm around Shion's shoulder and quickly shot her an easy grin. "Well, if you eat something you'll feel better. Go sit down. Nobu will keep you entertained while I fix you something."

There was no point in protesting as it was clear Nana wasn't going to just let her be miserable in her room so she nodded and let Nana push her into a seat at the table opposite from Nobu.

He seemed unsure of what to say and she didn't have anything either. An awkward silence threatened them until eventually Nobu spoke up.

"That was an instrument case you had before, right? I thought you said you didn't play anything."

Shion stared at the table, avoiding his eyes. "Well, I don't play anything you could use in a band. A violin won't do anything that a guitar can't do better." She'd heard of some rock bands who used electric violins but they were exceptionally rare.

"Still, playing violin is cool. Do you enjoy playing?"

The question made her lift her head and meet his eyes. No one had ever asked her that before. Even at school they'd ask things like how long since she'd started, had she won competitions, or if the violin was as difficult as it seemed to play. Of course there was nothing wrong with those questions at all, but there was something about being asked if she enjoyed playing that made her feel at ease with the anxiety she'd been battling.

"I love playing." She said with a small smile. "I love it more than anything in the world."

Nobu immediately returned her smile and any awkwardness between them melted away as well.

"That's the same for me and the guitar," he said. "As long as I have music, everything will fall into place."

The sentiment played on a loop in her head. "But… you're an excellent guitar player. I don't think my abilities can keep me afloat like yours can." How she'd played in the studio came back to haunt her but she pushed it away firmly.

"Maybe. Or maybe you're a great player too. We're our own harshest critics. The best we can do is continue to work at it, to constantly try to improve ourselves. You just need to give it time."

"Listen to this guy, talking like an old man." Nana swatted his head as she placed a small plate of onigiri on the table and he laughed sheepishly.

"Eat up, Shion." Nana told her. "You'll feel better with a full stomach."

She took one of the rice balls and took a small bite, self-conscious of the two pairs of eyes watching her. Then after she swallowed and took another, bigger bite Nana started to talk.

"So Hachi called me earlier to say she's bringing someone round tonight who's interested in being our bassist."

Nobu's face lit up. "Really? That was quick - Hachi's amazing!"

Nana watched him with a smirk. "Her boyfriend thinks so too."

Nobu blushed. "I didn't mean it like that. It's just she only put out those posters today, right? It's amazing that we've found a bassist already."

"Maybe." Nana said. "I wanna meet them first." She glanced at Shion.

"They'll be arriving in an hour or so - you're welcome to hang out with us when they come though Shion. Don't feel like you have to stay in your room if you don't want to."

Shion shook her head with an apologetic smile. "It's fine. I'll probably turn in early after I get some fresh air tonight."

"You're going out?" Nana said. "It's getting pretty late."

"Just for twenty minutes or so. I need to think about some stuff." With that she finished the rest of her snack and got to her feet, heading to the door. "See you later."

"Be careful out there." Nana replied.

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

The sunset was slowly melting into the darkness of night by the time Shion had walked down to the end of the road that ran alongside the river. The chill of the night air clung to her cheeks stubbornly and she now regretted not bringing a coat to wear. She felt much calmer than before thanks to Nana and Nobu. It had only been her first official practice earlier on and talking to Nobu helped to remind her she just needed to give herself time to get back into her previous flow, no matter how frustrating that might be at first.

Around the corner was a convenience shop located next to a small playground. At first the thought of a hot drink was very appealing but when her hands delved inside her pockets for her wallet she remembered it was most likely still in her bedroom.

_Damn it._ _Well, no hot chocolate then._ Instead she made her way over to the playground and plonked herself into one of the swings, the chain making her fingers numb. When she was a little girl her father would push her higher and higher and then she would sing happily, with not a care in the world about who heard her.

The song Nobu and Nana had performed in the apartment came to her mind and she hummed it quietly under her breath. The next time she went to the studio she would try and play it herself. There was a tiny piece of her that wanted the people she had met so far to hear her play, so they could share their love for music together. Whether or not she'd actually be able to _do_ that remained a mystery, but at least now she knew what she had to do.

"Hey there." She froze and her eyes shot up to see a group of three young men staring at her hungrily.

_Oh no._

Shion nodded at them silently and got to her feet to walk away but someone grabbed her elbow, preventing her from walking away. "Hold up a moment - we just want to chat. It's dangerous to go around alone at night you know - _especially_ a young lady like yourself." The man who held her arm smiled at her but she had to suppress a whimper. Mostly she got away with being invisible so she'd never imagined that a situation such as this would befall her.

Big mistake.

"Why don't you hang out with us for a while?" He said, his grip tightening. "We make great company, I promise."

"I…" Her voice was caught in her throat thanks to her anxiety. "I… can't…"

He grinned at her. "You're cute when you're nervous." Tugging her closer he bent down until his mouth was hovering over her ear, and despite her struggle he held her firmly.

"I'd like to see your _other_ expressions." Shion's legs almost caved in. No one knew where she was, and she certainly wasn't strong enough to get away. If only someone from the convenience store would come outside and see, or maybe Hachi and her bassist candidate who were due to come around soon.

"Please…" she begged. "Let… me go."

The other two men behind him sniggered but the man holding her just raised his other hand to her face; pressing it against her cheek despite her desperate squirming to get free.

"So cold," he murmured. "I can fix that, you know."

Shion choked on a sob. Just as she'd begun to lose all hope, there was an angry outburst from behind her.

"_What the hell do you think you're doing?!"_

The man snarled. "Back off pal - you're outnumbered here." He pulled Shion towards him roughly and she was taken off guard, effectively rolling her ankle in the process. She hissed in pain but thanks to that she was able to see her rescuer.

Nobu.

"I'd get out of here if I were you," Nobu said. "Or would you like to wait until the police get here? Not that it matters much since the security footage from the convenience store will have captured this whole incident anyway."

The man swore and pushed Shion to the ground, already backing away. "Whatever. This tramp isn't worth the trouble."

She landed awkwardly, shooting another wave of pain through her ankle. Nobu hurried to help her.

"Are you okay?" He asked her, brown eyes searching her face.

Shion didn't really know herself. It had ended so quickly. "Thank you," she said instead.

She attempted to get to her feet but wasn't very successful. Nobu caught her before she hit the ground again and apologised afterwards.

"Sorry, I don't mean to make you uncomfortable but… I think you need to go to the hospital. I can help you get there - we can call a taxi; I just need to make sure Nana knows where we are first."

Contacting Nana proved to be a trial in of itself. She didn't possess a mobile phone and since Hachi hadn't arrived and Nobu didn't have her number yet anyway, they had no way of letting them know until:

"I'll text Yasu. He can try to figure something out."

"We could just go home." Shion said. "This isn't a big deal."

Nobu brushed off her idea. "You can't walk at all and I'm not letting you go back home until you've gotten some help."

He encouraged her to put her arm over his neck and he apologised again before supporting her waist so she could hobble over to the convenience store. Nobu called a taxi and they waited for fifteen minutes.

After he'd helped her inside the car she asked what had been on her mind the entire time.

"Why weren't you at home with Nana?"

"Oh that?" He rubbed the back of his neck. "Nana asked me to get some more beer from the shop. It was lucky she did - those guys were real scumbags."

They were quiet for the rest of the ride, and Shion chose not to bring up that Nana had only just bought a new pack of beer when she'd come home that evening.

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

It was a sprained ankle and they'd put Shion in a walking boot for the next six weeks which was awkward and heavy, but at the very least she could stand without Nobu's assistance thanks to her crutches.

He was sitting in the waiting room when she hobbled out to meet him. At the sight of her walking he seemed to relax and he flashed her a relieved smile.

"Everything okay?" She nodded and then he brought up something else. Shion appreciated the focus changing away from her silly injury.

"The others are at some studio close to your apartment - Hachi and the bassist arrived while we were here and Nana wanted to hear them play first. I can take you home."

Shion could sense that he probably wanted to see the bassist play too and she filled with guilt.

"You can always leave me and go find them," she told him. "I can take a bus or something."

"No way," he said. "Do you know how late it is? Nothing's running anymore. Yasu said he'd pick us up outside, let's go."

"Then can't we just ask Yasu to take us to the studio instead?"

"And what about getting back?" He pointed out. "You really shouldn't be walking around when you don't need to."

"But…" she kept trying. "I just… don't want you to be left out because of me."

There, she'd said it. Shion had expected him to be annoyed at the fuss she was making but instead Nobu just smiled.

"Thank you for worrying about me. It's okay. I trust Nana will make a good decision and then we can play all together later." His reassurance swayed her heart just a little.

"If you're really okay with it…"

He grinned. "I am! So let's go home, 'kay?"

"Kay."

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•


	6. first day

The next few days kept the residents of Room 707 very busy. Nana began disappearing in the afternoons to go back to the studio with Nobu and Shinichi - the new bassist.

On the night Shion hurt her ankle Nobu had helped her back home and assisted her with getting up the many flights of stairs which was torturous. Afterwards Nana had returned with Hachi and Shinichi in tow, proudly telling Nobu they'd found one hell of a bassist. Nana and Hachi had been horrified when Nobu informed them of the incident with Shion. They'd been adamant that from that point forth Shion was not to take late night walks alone.

Shinichi claimed to be a year younger than Shion, but she knew everyone suspected him to be much younger. She had yet to introduce herself to him as she'd gone to bed long before they returned, but she was eagerly filled in the next morning by Hachi before she left for work. Nobu had also announced that morning that he'd found a place to rent now that he could share the costs with their new band member and he thanked Shion and her housemates for their hospitality.

"If you need any help, feel free to call me." Nobu had told Shion, casting a worried look at her strapped up ankle. Shion had gone very quiet, touched by his concern before she nodded and muttered a quick, "Thank you."

Her first dilemma had been the fact that she was due to start working at the record shop that day, but in her current state she had no idea how she was going to get there. She couldn't possibly afford a taxi and it was too far to walk. Just when she was resigning herself to the idea that she'd have to call up the owner and tell him about her accident, a car pulled up to the front of the complex where she was lingering by the door.

Two people got out of the car and Shion recognised them as Junko and Kyousuke - Hachi's friends who had come with her the day she'd moved in. Were they here to see Hachi? It seemed peculiar given that they almost definitely knew her work hours. So then why?

"Shion-chan?" Junko said, smiling warmly. "Nana told us you'd gotten yourself in a bit of trouble and needed a lift to work."

Blood rushed to her cheeks. "Oh, well I suppose. But I couldn't possibly impose…"

Kyousuke shook his head. "It's no problem. We're going that way anyway. This is a minor detour."

Shion wasn't convinced. "But still…"

Junko gestured for her to get in the car. "If it really makes you uncomfortable we'll help you find the nearest bus stop for the future. But it's your first day at work today, right? It wouldn't make a good impression to be late. Let's go."

There was no room for Shion to argue and rendered speechless she made her way to the car, where she wobbled dangerously as she fiddled around with opening the car door while holding her crutches. Luckily, Kyousuke quickly lent her his shoulder to lean on as she lowered herself into the seat.

The nearest bus stop as it turned out, was at the stop of the road right in front of the park where she'd been harrassed. The walk there would still be tough on her, but it was still much more favourable to relying on Hachi's friends to drive her every day while she recovered. She made a mental note to get them a gift in thanks of their kindness.

Junko was very interested in how their living arrangements were going so far.

"I only ever know what Nana tells me and she can be quite eccentric. Of course she's told me all about the band but she avoids talking about her own situation whenever she can."

Shion smiled weakly. "Hachi is very kind. It's very comfortable to live with her. Nana-san probably wouldn't admit it but she likes living with Hachi too."

Kyousuke chuckled. "Hachi, huh? Sounds like she's fitting right in. You don't need to worry, Junko."

Junko rubbed her brow with a sigh. "She's just so helpless. If she's left alone for a minute suddenly she's gone and gotten herself into a mess." She then turned to face Shion. "Keep an eye out on her for me, okay? I'll give you my number so call me if anything comes up."

Shion nodded solemnly. "I will."

Kyousuke parked outside the store and Junko got out to help Shion. Afterwards Shion thanked them both profusely, and the two just smiled. "Good luck, Shion-chan."

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

"Huh? Shion?!" The moment she'd awkwardly entered the store she was greeted by none other than Nobu, who was standing behind the counter with the owner Yoshida-san who Shion had met earlier the previous week.

"Nobu?" She was equally as puzzled. Was Nobu the other part-timer the manager had mentioned would be starting with her?

"You know each other?" Yoshida-san sounded pleased. "That makes this much easier. I've already briefed Nobu-kun here about your duties so he can fill you in. Although," he added. "It might be best if you just tend to the counter, Shion. Take care of yourself now." He said it kindly but she still apologised for inconveniencing him with her injury.

"There's nothing to apologise for," he told her. "These things sometimes just happen."

He smiled at her kindly, "Feel free to put some music on while you're here. Think of it as an extra duty." With that he disappeared upstairs, leaving the two of them to take care of things in the shop.

Once Nobu had shown her the ropes, he made a point of grabbing a stool for her to sit on behind the counter. "Don't push yourself too hard. Tell me if you need anything." He said with a smile.

He got to work sorting through a new pile of records that needed putting away. It was still morning and it didn't seem as though they'd be seeing any customers soon which put Shion at ease for the moment while she mentally prepared herself for a role in customer service. She'd been so desperate to get a job that she hadn't really considered the social aspect of it. It was a relatively small store so assuming there were only ever two or three customers at a time, hopefully things would be okay.

"Want to choose some music?" Her train of thought was interrupted by Nobu who regarded her with a grin and gestured behind him to all of the records. "You've got the pick of the whole shop."

She bit her lip feeling embarrassed. "You'd better pick. I'm uh, not really that up to date on my music."

He watched her questioningly. "What do you usually listen to?"

Blood rushed to her cheeks.

"Taki Rentarou… Mozart… Beethoven… Hadyn… Chopin… and others."

Nobu didn't look as discouraged as she thought he would. He pressed her again. "There's nothing wrong with enjoying classical music. What about modern music?"

Shion said nothing.

"No one?" Nobu sounded surprised. "The Sex Pistols? Queen? What about The Beatles?"

"Who are The Beatles?"

Nobu went pale for a moment but he quickly recovered with a determined grin. "No worries! All I need to do is educate you! When I'm finished you'll be more knowledgeable than Nana - how's that?"

She nodded, not sure where this was going. He turned his back on her and started flipping through records until he found the one he was looking and tugged it out carefully. Setting it up on the record player the room filled with music.

_Love, love, love_

_Love, love, love_

_Love, love, love_

_There's nothing you can do that can't be done_

_Nothing you can sing that can't be sung_

_Nothing you can say, but you can learn how to play the game_

_It's easy_

_Nothing you can make that can't be made_

_No one you can save that can't be saved_

_Nothing you can do, but you can learn how to be you in time_

_It's easy_

_All you need is love_

_All you need is love_

_All you need is love, love_

_Love is all you need._

Shion could just about understand all of the English lyrics from her time in school. Surprisingly the lyrics were repetitive and easy to learn.

Nobu smiled triumphantly. "Good right? John Lennon said the lyrics were purposefully simple so that people all over the world could learn them easily without needing to know English." He seemed so excited to be able to share this piece of trivia that Shion couldn't help smiling too.

"It's a good song. I like it."  
More songs continued to play and Nobu hummed along to them all while he went back to work. Admittedly, Shion kept finding her eyes wandering back to him. He'd puff out his cheeks when he couldn't find the right place for a record, or he'd admire the cover art of records he was interested in. They were co-workers now - this was her job. The idea that she'd be spending that job working with Nobu wasn't an unpleasant idea at all. There was something about his presence that put her at ease; she felt safe. It was a nice feeling to have. Would it be bad to hope he also enjoyed her company? She'd never really had friends until now or the anxiety that came with them.

After an hour they received their first customer.

"_Irasshaimase._" Shion greeted them politely as they came to the counter. It was a middle schooler by the looks of it, and as it was well past the time for first period it was obvious he was playing truant. Well, whatever. It wasn't any of her business.

"How can I help you?" She asked.

"I'm trying to find a song I heard on the radio this morning." He told her flatly.

She was immediately stumped. "Do you… perhaps know the artist?"

"No."

_Then how am I supposed to help?_She wanted to retort.

Instead she kept probing him with questions.

"What radio station was it?"

"FM Japan."

She looked for Nobu helplessly and luckily he'd been watching the exchange and jumped in to offer his help.

"Do you remember any lyrics from the song?" He asked. "Can you remember the genre or anything about the vocalists?"

"It was… a girl." The boy said after a while, slightly disgruntled. "She had a really nice voice. Like an angel. And there was this one line '_Travel to the moon'_."

"So it's an English artist?" Shion asked.

The boy shook his head. "Most of its in Japanese. I just can't remember the lyrics."

Nobu was deep in thought and Shion thought he maybe seemed a little more solemn after hearing the lyrics. Eventually he began flicking through records until he found the right one. He swapped it over with the Beatles record that was still playing in the background, and then a song began to play.

_Travel to the moon_

_Kimi wa nemuri, yume wo toku_

**While you sleep, a dream untangles. **

_Dare mo inai, hoshi no hikari_

**There's no one else here, while we play with the starlight **

_Ayatsuri nagara _

**There's no one else here, while we play with the starlight **

_Tsuyoku naru tame,_

**The two of us together can definitely get back **

_Wasureta egao_

_Kitto futari nara, torimodosu_

**the smile we forgot and become strong again.**

The boy slammed his hands on the counter. "This is it! Who's the one singing?"

Nobu's face was unreadable when he turned to answer the question.

"Reira. This is a song by TRAPNEST."

"TRAPNEST?" The boy repeated. "Aren't they the ones on tour right now?"

Nobu nodded. "Yeah, they are." He carefully stopped the music and slipped the record back into its packaging. A few moments later Shion was figuring out the trick to the register and processing their first transaction of the day.

Success!

"That was amazing, Nobu." She said after the boy had left. "How did you know what to look for based off those clues?"

Nobu shrugged sheepishly. "Lucky guess?"

"TRAPNEST." Shion mused. "I feel like I've heard of them."

"Could it be from Hachi?" Nobu suggested. "She does have a huge poster of them in her room."

"That's it!" She said. "Hachi was going on and on about her favourite… uhh, who was it? Takashi?"

"Takumi." He said. "The bassist."

"Will you be educating me about them in the future?" She asked.

He grinned but she felt like his heart wasn't quite in it. "Of course. One day."

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

They were both dismissed a few hours after lunchtime and Shion's stomach was growling.

Nobu laughed. "Hungry? Wanna grab something to eat?"

Shion jumped at the chance. "It's my treat - to pay you back for helping me with my ankle."

Maybe her determination to repay his kindness showed because he didn't protest.

"There's a diner nearby we could go." Nobu suggested. "It shouldn't be too far for you on crutches."

A promise of eating food with a friend cheered her up considerably and she felt as though she was _glowing._

"Let's go then!" She smiled.

Another familiar face was there to greet them at the diner - quite literally. If her memory was right, this was Shoji - Hachi's boyfriend.

"Shoji-san." She felt like it would be rude not to acknowledge she knew him even if they hadn't really spoken before. She was worried he wouldn't remember who she was but judging by his face he did.

"Shion-chan. Is… Nana with you?"

She shook her head. "It's just Nobu and myself. Are you maybe… expecting her?"

"No way! I told her not to visit me during work hours. I was just worried she'd told everyone where I worked. Anyway, I'll show you to your seats."

Without another word he led them to a small booth; helping Shion sit down and prop her crutches against the table, and left them to look over the menus.

"That's Hachi's boyfriend?" Nobu asked.

Shion nodded. "I don't know much about him. I just saw him briefly when Hachi moved in. She says he's kind and reliable."

He didn't meet her eyes. "Right."

A waitress soon came to serve them. "Can I take your order?"

She was a dainty girl with short curly hair. It wasn't a complete exaggeration to say she looked like a doll with her refined features. Everything about her seemed delicate and cute.

"I'd like an omurice, please." Shion said, feeling quite out of place next to such a beautiful girl.

"A large burger." Nobu said.

"Anything else?"

They confirmed with each other before shaking their heads. "That's it."

"Very well." She disappeared.

Shion tapped on the table nervously. Eventually Nobu smiled to reassure her.

"What did you think of work today?"

"It didn't feel like work at all," she told him honestly. "The shop is relaxing. It feels safe."

"That's good." He paused before he continued. "So what's the deal with you and the violin?"

She stiffened. "The violin?"

He held his hands up in surrender. "You don't need to tell me if it makes you uncomfortable but… you seemed really torn up about it the other day."

It did make her uncomfortable. But there was another part of her that wanted to tell him everything - her whole sob story from beginning to end. Maybe not today though.

"I've been playing ever since I can remember but when my father remarried his wife complained constantly about my playing. My school didn't have a practice room and I felt too self-conscious by that point so I stopped practising altogether. The other day was just… me coming to terms with the reality of suddenly beginning to play again and being terrible at it."

"You'll recover quickly." Nobu said. "You've just got to get your body used to playing again and then it will all come back. Don't let yourself be too discouraged by it."

"I know. Thank you."

"Still… what a harsh thing for your stepmother to do. Is that why you moved out?"

"Sort of." She shrugged. "It's a little more complicated than that. I'll tell you about it one day."

He smiled apologetically. "Of course. No pressure."

The doll-like waitress returned with their food and they tucked in eagerly.

"How are things going with the new bassist?" She asked. "He's living with you too, right?"

Nobu nodded. "Shin's strange. He dyed his hair blue almost immediately after we accepted him, but he's got a lot of ambition and he's a good kid. You should come by the studio this week to meet him. Nana and Hachi will take the bus with you. You can hear us play together - it'll be fun."

"Yeah. I might take you up on that." She'd been meaning to go to the studio for her own session anyway. She wasn't going to let a rotten ankle stop her.

"Our next session is tomorrow afternoon - I'll let Hachi know the plans." Nobu grinned. "You'll be blown away by BLAST now. All we need now is a drummer!"

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•


	7. adrenaline

The next three weeks consisted of walking to the bus stop every morning to get to work. It would have been a real struggle but ever since Shion's first day, Nobu had begun to show up at her door every morning to help her down the seven flights of stairs in the apartment complex. No matter how much she insisted she wasn't worth the hassle, he refused to listen.

"Better safe than sorry." He'd told her. "It's no big deal. We're friends so of course I'm gonna look out for you."

To know she had a friend that cared that much touched her deeply, and afterwards she looked forward to seeing him every morning.

There had been no word from her father about the delivery of her bedroom furniture that was supposed to come after she had moved in. So far he hadn't responded to the messages she had left and since she had no idea where his new house was or whether their number had changed, Shion had no choice but to wait for him to reach out herself; leaving her to contend with an empty bedroom asides from her futon. It also meant she'd needed to go emergency clothes shopping as she hadn't been able to fit that much into her backpack. Her monthly pay would be given to her soon and the rent was due in just a couple of days. It left her tight for money and most likely she'd be living from paycheck to paycheck once her other money ran out.

On a happier note, after work Shion walked with Nobu to the studio for their separate sessions - Nobu usually practised by himself for a while before the rest of BLAST showed up later on. She hadn't yet allowed him to sit in while she played the violin, but he had invited her plenty of times to listen to new songs he was working on - all of which she loved.

This afternoon's session might go differently however. She'd been practising her heart out trying to get a new song right specifically so she could play it for Nobu and she knew that if she didn't ask him this week she'd probably find an excuse to never invite him to listen again.

Nobu was about to slip into his studio room when she shyly called out to him, tapping the shoulder straps of her violin case nervously.

"Um, Nobu?"

He turned to her curiously. "What's up?"

"Uhhh, well if you wanted to… you could always… listen to me play for a little while…" She took a gulp of air immediately after finishing her sentence. Maybe he'd forgotten all about the time when he'd mentioned he would like to hear her play.

She needn't have worried because his face lit up. "I'd love to! Are you serious?!"

Shion nodded and gestured to the door of her own practice room, "Then… let's go?"

Within a few minutes she'd applied a new layer of rosin to her bow and stood in position facing Nobu, heart pounding. This would be the first time someone had heard her play in… forever. Time had allowed her ankle to heal almost completely and while she still had difficulty with stairs or moving around in general with her walking boot, she had enough strength to stand by herself without need of support more or less which she appreciated. When she played sitting down like she had been for her recent practices, she felt boxed in and suffocated.

Nobu's expression was kind however, and he sat on his chair patiently.

"It's a nice looking violin." He commented, and she blinked. Nobu just smiled at her confusion and she realised he was just doing his best to put her at ease.

"Yeah… it was my mother's. _Okaa-san_ called this one Augustine."

And to her surprise Nobu seemed relieved. He grinned, "I named my first guitar too - I've always wondered if maybe that was a weird thing to do." He'd let the comment about her mother slide and she was relieved that he trusted her to tell him everything in her own time.

Feeling more comfortable now that the silence between them had been broken, she began to play/

_When I was darkness at that time fueteru kuchibiru _

_Heya no katasumi de I cry _

_Mogakeba mogaku hodo tsukisasaru kono kizu _

_Yaburareta yakusoku hurt me_

_**When I was darkness at that time, with trembling lips**_

_**I cry in the corner of my room **_

_**The more I struggle, the more these wounds pierce into me **_

_**Our broken promises hurt me**_

_Nobody can save me _

_Kamisama hitotsu dake _

_Tomete saku you na my love_

_**God, I have one request **_

_**Stop tearing apart my love**_

_I need your love _

_I'm a broken rose _

_Maichiru no kanashimi your song _

_Ibasho nai kodoku na my life_

_**You song is fluttering sadness **_

_**I have nowhere to go, my lonely life**_

_I need your love _

_I'm a broken rose. _

_Oh baby, help me from frozen pain _

_With your smile, your eyes, _

_And sing just for me_

_I wanna need your love... _

_I'm a broken rose _

_I wanna need your love…_

When she finished the final note a flood of relief rushed through her and she almost collapsed on the spot. Then she heard the clapping and Nobu was on his feet grinning like an idiot.

"You played my song!" He couldn't believe it. "You didn't have the sheet music though…"  
"Oh… I uh, figured it out with trial and error," she admitted, a bit embarrassed. It would have been polite to ask for permission before she went ahead and made her own arrangement of his song, but she'd wanted it to be a surprise.

"It must have taken you so long." He blushed. "It's kind of flattering that you went through that much effort to just play my little song."

"I fell in love with it the moment I heard it!" She said. "And then when Nana added the lyrics to it… I loved it even more. I sorta felt… compelled to play it."

The scarlet on his face deepened and spread to his ears. It was only when he recovered that he spoke again, this time more serious.

"You know," he said. "You should play this for Nana. She'd be thrilled. Hachi and Shin too, if you felt up for it."

_No way! I couldn't._ Her first instinct to run away popped up and she had to remind herself of the progress she had made and intended to make battling her anxiety.

Nana. Hachi. They were good people. They were her precious housemates who had so far treated her like their own younger sister. Perhaps it wouldn't be a stretch to play for them. Shinichi on the other hand, who she had yet to meet…

That was a different story. But then again if everyone was at the studio and he was the only one next door while she performed for her friends, that excluded him and she hated the idea of that.

Maybe… this could be a challenge that she set for herself? To play music in front of one stranger.

"Okay." She whispered it so quietly that her voice was barely audible. Nobu's sharp ears picked it up and he beamed at her, coming to rest his hand on her shoulder. The weight was comforting and eased her nerves.

"They'll be so excited! Just tell me when you want to do it and I'll give them the heads up."

"Well…" She was sure to find an excuse to get out of it if she gave herself the time. "I don't mind if… if they come in today. I feel more confident having played the song once today already."

Nobu's eyes widened but he nodded straight away. "Got it. I'll let them know then - they've got a performance to watch today!"

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

"Ah Shion. How're you feeling?" Nana poked her head into the room around an hour later with Hachi and Shinichi in tow.

"Nervous now that you're actually here." Shion admitted. There was a pit at the bottom of her stomach and butterflies swirled around it in a desperate frenzy. It was getting a little difficult to breathe normally.

Hachi bounded over to her and smothered her in a hug, the scent of her soft perfume permeating through the air. "You'll be great Shion!" She said. "Everyone here loves you! We'll support you no matter what."

"_Eee_ \- Hachi isn't it a little bold of you to include me on that list so soon?" A young boy behind her with styled blue hair and many piercings spoke, amusement in his voice. "This is the first time I'm meeting your other housemate."

Shion frantically bowed her head to him. "_Nishimura Shion desu._ It's nice to meet you Shinichi! Everyone was so happy when you joined BLAST, so I'm excited to hear you all play together."

He half-smiled and he seemed to let his guard down. "I didn't think my elder would bow to me first. It's a little funny, but a little cute as well. You can call me Shin by the way, it's fine."

_Oh yeah. _She'd forgotten about that. Nana had interrogated him further about his age after he'd joined and she shared over dinner that he'd admitted he was in his final year of middle school, making him only fifteen years of age. It wasn't as though she would be particularly offended by being the one to bow first, but her face burned at the thought of making such an embarrassing mistake.

Shin laughed it off. "So Hachi said you're gonna play for us? Guess I'll look forward to it." With that the boy sauntered off to stand against the back wall of the room, ignoring the chairs Nobu had helpfully arranged that Nana and Hachi now sat in as well.

Shion licked her lips nervously, readying her violin and testing the strings, even though she'd already tuned it to perfection and double checked every half hour since they'd waited for the audience to arrive.

"I might make some mistakes…" she started to say, but Nobu met her eyes and it was enough for her to silence herself.

"We understand Shion." Hachi smiled, and Nana nodded in agreement. "We know how much work you've put into being able to let someone listen to you. We'll support you no matter what."

It was what she needed to start playing.

_When I was darkness at that time…_

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

This performance felt much different. With three new people watching her Shion was on edge and that meant her fingers had stiffened; leading to a few mistakes. She was unsure whether they were audible or not to her audience but their awfulness repeated itself on a loop in her head. It was a good thing she'd practised so much because it felt as though most of her effort had gone into controlling her nerves. When the final notes faded, her head was light and her body was trembling.

Nobu came to her aid and gave her the extra seat Shin had left alone. She slumped into it, feeling defeated despite her relatively okay performance.

No one had spoken yet.

Nana was staring at her.

"Shion! You little-!" The older woman shot up and ruffled her hair, messing it up. "That was our song! Is this what you've been up to in here?" Shion didn't know whether she should smile or not - was Nana… pleased?

"We _need_ you!" Nana declared, and Shion's jaw dropped. Everyone in the room was focused on the leader of BLAST.

"What… do you mean, Nana?" Hachi spoke up. "Do you mean… you want Shion to join BLAST?"

"It's a good idea, right?" Nana said. "I've heard of a few bands that use a violinist - it would give us a totally unique sound; we'd have evolved our sound from the previous BLAST. Don'tcha think, Nobu?"

She looked to the blonde man and he had to snap out of it before he spoke. "Uh, yeah! But… don't you also think that's asking too much of Shion? This was a really hard thing for her to do - suddenly being in a band is a lot of pressure."

"If she's up for it though, I'm for it." Surprisingly it was Shin who spoke next. The younger boy seemed to sense her surprise because he flashed a charming smile at Shion.

"I liked it. You're an honest person and it showed when you were playing." She didn't really have a clue what she meant but she smiled gratefully anyway.

All the eyes in the room settled on her.

"What do you think, Shion?" Nobu said, searching her face. "Everyone will understand if this is too much too fast."

"Um." She bit her lip. Being part of BLAST meant having band members to hang out with and bond with. She'd have a valid reason to speak to these people outside of being the person who lived with Nana and Hachi. Not to mention then she could share her music with Nobu and play more of his songs. She especially wanted to play more of his songs.

But on the other hand, what could she possibly contribute to a band with such talented musicians. Nana had said Shin was going to surpass Ren, the guitarist in the famous band TRAPNEST she'd learned about, and Nobu and Nana were also incredible musicians by their own merit.

She'd been playing violin her whole life, that was true, but she'd only just got back into it. Even if she didn't have crippling social anxiety that made playing in front of just four people next to impossible, her skills definitely weren't good enough for a band searching for stardom like BLAST.

And what of her classical music dream? It might have been at a standstill currently and she had no idea how she would proceed with it, but she didn't want to give it up just yet.

"Um… I…" She swallowed, not knowing what to say. It was 50/50. Playing for an audience today was challenging yes, but also a tiny bit exhilarating. The adrenaline was still coursing through her even now. Being part of a band, a family - it was very tempting.

"I need to think about it."

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

BLAST had their practice after she'd given her answer to Nana, who invited her to watch them in return. None of them had been lying about Shin's ability - he was truly talented, and ambitious to boot. It made Shion a little nervous about what would happen if she did accept Nana's offer only to hinder their progress as a group.

Halfway through a song, her phone went off and she slipped out into the hallway to take the call.

"_Otou-san?_ Is that you?"

"Shion." He sounded tired. "I received your messages. I'd like you to join us for dinner tonight so we can talk."

"That's fine but… I don't know where your house is. Can you tell me the address?"

"We won't be eating at home. There's not enough room. Your stepmother would like to eat out at a restaurant." He continued to tell her the whereabouts of said restaurant and Shion figured out that it was almost an hour's bus ride from the studio. It was gonna be tough to catch a bus back home by the time they were finished - surely her father knew that too? She'd have to leave the moment she got off the phone without stopping at home to drop off her violin.

"I'll… be there." She resisted letting out a sigh.

"Good." The phone hung up and she stared at the screen for a second longer before tucking it into her pocket, heart heavy. There had been no trace of her affectionate father during that call. The world seemed much lonelier.

BLAST were taking a break when she went back inside.

"Everything okay?" Nana asked.

She sighed and smiled apologetically. "I've gotta take off now. _Otou-san_ wants to have dinner and it's gonna take me awhile to get there."

"Will you be okay with your ankle?" Nobu asked. She'd forsaken her crutches a few days ago, so really the only trouble she had was lugging a heavy walking boot around.

"It should be fine. I don't think the restaurant is too far from the bus stop."

"You're not visiting your father at home?" Hachi said.

"Ahh, it's nothing to worry about. My stepmother just felt like eating out for once, that's all." Hachi's eyes were reflecting the sadness she felt and it frightened her a little bit.

She slipped her violin case onto her back and smiled at everyone before she headed for the door.

"See you later."

"Text me before you get on the bus!" Nobu told her.

"And after you get off," he added when she nodded.

"Be careful out there." Shin called after her when she left. Her head was still thinking back to the phone call with her father. What did he want to talk about that had left him so solemn?

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•


	8. family

_I apologise for being away for so long - I was on holiday in the UK meeting my extended family for the first time which felt very emotional at times. I've been back for a while but found it hard to write which is why it's been so long. If you're still interested enough in my story to be reading this now, then I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope I can keep the updates rolling out from this point on. _

The waiter at the restaurant guided Shion to the table her father had reserved for the evening, where the man himself sat next to her stepmother. His hair seemed to be flecked with more grey than the last time she'd seen him. Her stepmother regarded her coldly as Shion took a seat opposite them. She wondered how long it would be before the subject of her injury was brought up.

"Shion."

"_Otou-san._" She was painfully conscious of the glare of her stepmother trained on her and she tried her best to avoid looking in the older woman's direction.

"How have you been?" she asked.

"I think it's best we don't drag this out," he said, bringing his clasped hands to rest on the table.

"What is it?" Shion found herself flicking through every worst case scenario she could think of. Her father was looking more tired - surely he couldn't be sick? Had something happened to the company he worked with? They hadn't gone bankrupt, had they?

"We will be moving overseas - I have been transferred to the branch in America."

Her jaw dropped. "You're kidding." She was still confused as to whether 'we' included herself or not. The last thing she wanted to do was move to America when it felt like she'd finally found some friends.

"Your stepmother and I leave tomorrow."

"For how long?"

"It's hard to say, but it will probably be for at least a couple of years."

"Oh." Shion swallowed, not wanting her disappointment to show. She didn't know any of her extended family. Her father was an only child and his parents had passed away when she was a toddler, and to the best of her knowledge, her mother had been disowned after choosing to pursue music as a career. She hadn't seen or heard from her stepmother's family since the wedding and it didn't seem like that was going to change anytime soon. If her father went to America, she'd be alone.

"What's with that face? Aren't you happy for your father?" Her stepmother's words were icy as she spoke up for the first time.

"Of course." Shion mumbled.

"It's a shame that we had to sell our new apartment so soon but I'm sure America will have lovely accommodation as well."

Oh. That reminded her.

"What about my furniture, _Otou-san_?" she asked him. "I've been using a futon until you could get it delivered. Where is it?"

"It wasn't _your_ furniture," her stepmother said. "You were just using it. Once we found out about the transfer we sold everything unnecessary. Including the furniture that was in storage."

So in short, she had nothing. There was nothing left. Shion bit her lip hard, not wanting to give her stepmother the satisfaction of knowing she was upset.

"I guess I'll just have to buy some more then." she said stiffly. "Hachi might be able to get me a discount at the furniture store she works at."

"Don't trouble your housemates with such things." Her father said. "If you've been working hard at your job then you are more than capable of providing for yourself."

The man in front of her was cold and grey. It was hard to think that this man had once cheered her on at school talent competitions or come to every violin recital until he'd remarried. They would play imagine games when she was younger around the house, games where he'd leap around and roar and pretend to be a dragon while as a music knight she slayed him with the power of her violin.

This man was emotionless. This man didn't care about her anymore.

This wasn't her father. A stray tear fell down her cheek and she wiped it away before dragging herself to her feet again, her ankle throbbing.

"I'll go. I need to catch the last bus before it leaves. Enjoy America."

As she turned her back she heard her stepmother whisper to her father.

"_Such a rude child._"

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

Shion took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

"Come in~!" Hachi called cheerfully. Thankfully she was still awake even though it was approaching midnight. Shion had come home a couple hours earlier, going over the family meeting until her head felt as though it was going to explode. There seemed to be one solution for her.

No more family - at least not the family related to her by blood. She was done. If they were happy taking off to America with the money meant to send her to university than so be it. But the future that she did head towards wouldn't include them. That ship had sailed.

She slipped inside Hachi's room which was illuminated by a bedside lamp. Hachi had been sitting cross-legged on her bed, flicking through a magazine which she put to the side when she saw Shion.

"Shion! What's up?" Hachi smiled at her warmly.

"I was just wondering if you'd maybe… help me with something?"

Immediately Hachi's eyes lit up. "Sure! What is it?"

She gathered her ponytail in one hand and revealed the scissors she'd been holding in the other. "Would you help me cut this? I know I should go to the salon but I really can't afford it right now."

Hachi wasted no time in jumping up and ushering her towards her dressing table mirror.

"How short do you want it?"

"I guess… off my shoulders." Hachi raised her eyebrows. "Are you _sure_? That's a lot."

As it was, her hair reached just below the halfway mark of her back. It was a big change, but Shion felt as though it would be a change for the good. A reminder that she could take drastic action when necessary, as stupid as that might sound.

"Yeah, I'm sure."

As Hachi got to work, the conversation moved on to BLAST.

"They're really coming together now." Hachi said dreamily.

"Nana-san seems to be happy with Nobu's songs."

"She is!" Hachi said. "Even though she might not shower him with praise, I can tell Nana is happy to do music with Nobu again. I hope they find a drummer soon."

The haircut was almost finished when Hachi asked the thing Shion had been hoping she wouldn't.

"How was dinner with your family?"

"Oh… it was fine. They just wanted to check in." She hoped her stomach would refrain from betraying her hunger for the time-being. She'd already caused so much drama with her ankle and her anxiety, the last thing she wanted to do was put the focus on herself again.

"How are things with you and Shoji?" Hopefully Hachi wouldn't notice she was trying to change the subject. Thankfully the other girl was happy to talk about her boyfriend.

"Well… I don't see him nearly as much as I'd like to but~ we've~ got~ a date soon~" Hachi sang, snipping away at the stray hairs she'd missed. "That just about does it! What do you think?"

Beneath their feet was a mass of black hair, like something you'd find in a horror movie.

"My head feels so light." Shion said, running her hands through her hair and watching her reflection. She was right in thinking it was a big change - she looked _good_, and maybe even like someone who was capable and independent. Surely she'd be able to manage in Japan by herself. She'd make sure of it.

"Super cute~!" Hachi squealed. "Maybe I should get a job at a hair salon!"

"I'm pretty sure you need to go to school first for the qualification." Shion told her, but then she gave her housemate a small smile. "Thank you, Hachi."

"No problem!"

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

It was Thursday morning when Hachi came skipping through the front door clutching the post in one hand with a smile. Usually most of it was addressed to Hachi - she had so many friends and family concerned about her living in Tokyo it made Shion jealous at times. This time however Hachi pushed an envelope towards her as she was chomping down her last piece of toast.

"For me?" Shion asked, spraying crumbs everywhere before she was able to swallow and mutter her apologies. Hachi nodded, "Who do you think it's from? Your father?"

Shion wiped her mouth before picking up the envelope, "I doubt it. He's in-" Then she stopped herself before she could reveal the subject of the family dinner the previous night.

She didn't recognise the elegant handwriting at all - just that it wasn't her father's. It was strange; aside from her father and Andou-san the realtor, no one else knew where she lived.

Unable to hold back her curiosity any longer she tore it open and a small post-it note fell out, as well as a creamy parchment letter; neatly folded. As her eyes scanned the note first, her heart soon stopped.

_Shion. I should have given this to you much earlier but I didn't have the courage. I know that you are disappointed in me; I am far from the father you deserve. I'm not just going to America on business. I am sick Shion, and I did not have the courage to tell you face to face. My doctor recommended I take the necessary treatment that is available only in America, and it will be years before I can travel back to Japan if the surgery is successful. I'll miss you, my daughter, but I know that you will find your own path because you are your mother's daughter._

She couldn't believe what she was hearing? Her father, sick? With what? She read the note over and over again hoping that perhaps the answer might still be amongst words she had skipped over in her haste, but no such answer was written.

There was still the letter to be read but Shion wasn't sure if she could handle two huge bombshells in such a short amount of time. Whatever could this letter be?

The parchment was smooth beneath her fingers as she pressed out the creases and began to read.

_My lovely Shion,_

_It's hard to imagine that by the time you read this you'll be all grown up when as I write this you're in my tummy. You've given me no problems at all; you're such a gentle thing. I was expecting you to be kicking up a fuss in there but you've been very quiet. I wonder what you're like now? I can't wait to see you grow up into a lovely young woman._

_I wanted to pass on motherly advice but to be honest I don't know if I'd really be one to talk - I feel like such a disaster at times! Why did your father marry me? I think about it a lot, but I'm so happy that he did because now we have you! I was so happy when the doctor told me I was pregnant - your father and I both cried._

_My own mother and father disowned me when I decided to pursue the violin as a career, but I want you to know that no matter what you decide to do with your life, I will support you 100%. There is nothing I want more than for you to live happily. Marry the one you love if you'd like, or don't get married and that's also okay. Do the things that you want to do, the path that leads to the place you want to go (and if you'd like to learn to play the violin along the way I wouldn't complain). _

_The violin is the sound of my heart, but as I have been fond of saying these days, you __**are **__my heart, lovely Shion. I just know that when you're born our family will be so perfect._

_I'll see you soon little one,_

_With love,_

_Okaa-san._

Shion tucked the letter back inside the envelope and hurried out the door, her bag in tow. Her mind was reeling with emotion and she felt very sure if she didn't distract herself she would almost definitely cry. Nobu would be there soon to take her to work again; the last thing she wanted to do was worry him again.

Still, a letter from her mother? It was so filled with warmth and love that Shion could almost imagine her mother's voice for the first time. How lucky she had been to have such an accepting woman as her mother; if only fate hadn't decreed they never meet.

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•


	9. friends

**Sorry that it's taken so long to update. I hope you are all staying safe in these trying times. **

There was a commotion outside in the hallway that caused Shion to tuck her mother's letter underneath her pillow. Hachi had managed to get her some bedroom furniture for almost nothing after her boss Mikoshiba had decided to shut down his furniture shop - leaving Hachi without a job.

It was unfortunate for Hachi, but the furniture couldn't have come at a better time for Shion. Her bedroom finally looked like it had an owner; her futon had been folded up for what she hoped was a very long time, and she now had a bedframe and mattress, as well as a small bedside dresser and chest of drawers. None of it matched; but she just appreciated having anything at all, after her old things had been sold by her family.

She got to her feet and cracked her bedroom door open as she usually did to scan the kitchen. It wasn't long until the front door burst open and Nana entered, followed by a familiar bald man. What was his name again… Takagi… Takagi… Yasushi. The others called him Yasu if she remembered correctly. She supposed he was visiting Nana, by how happy the other woman looked.

Nana seemed to sense she was there and she spoke cheerily.

"Come out and say hi, Shion. We gotta celebrate tonight - Yasu is here for the band!"

"You're going to drum, Takagi-san?" Shion slowly made her way out of her room.

Nana snorted. "Takagi-san? He's gonna be your bandmate, Shion. Just call him Yasu, like everyone else."

"Bandmate?! But I didn't-"

The older woman slung her arm over Shion's shoulders and grinned. "You will though. I know it. And then we'll be sensational."

"You shouldn't try to pressure her, Nana." Yasu said. "It won't work."

"It did on you." Nana shot back, and the man just sighed. "I suppose."  
"Yasu is back?!" Two more people burst into the apartment - Nobu and Shin. Immediately Nobu launched himself at Yasu, beaming while Yasu just patted his shoulder.

"Nobu. I hope you've been keeping yourself out of trouble."

"I'm never in trouble!" Nobu said, coming to stand next to Shion. "Right, Shion?" She thought back to how Nobu had rescued her from getting harassed several weeks ago, only for her to hurt her ankle anyway.

She had to muffle a chuckle. "Right."

Seeing the three of them together - Nana, Nobu, and now Yasu; she understood just how important it was that Yasu was here. He was such an essential part of their friendship, of keeping their group together. To Nana, it must have really felt like everything was falling into place.

Shion was envious of what it must have felt like.

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

The evening was full of cheer and good spirits. To celebrate that Yasu had joined them, everyone had begun to drink, thanks to the beer Hachi had bought at the shop alongside the sukiyaki. When invited to join them, Shion politely refused, choosing instead to sit with them as they progressively got more and more drunk. Around midnight, Nana ran out of her precious cigarettes and Yasu offered to buy her some more at the convenience shop up the road. When Shin and Nobu also volunteered to get more to drink, Shion wanted to tag along, feeling a little protective seeing Nobu almost completely intoxicated. Her friend wouldn't hear of it.

"I'll be fiiiine~" Nobu sang, already wobbling to his feet. "Yasu and Shin are coming too so don't worry~!" Shion looked to Yasu who seemed to understand the pleading in her eyes.

"Don't worry about it, Shion-chan. I'll keep an eye on him."

Her shoulders relaxed some. Shin noted it and smirked. "Nobu sure is lucky to have someone so cute worrying over him." Shion looked away and said nothing. She was getting used to Shin's comments now. It was just his way. When the men had left, Hachi's cell phone began to ring and she disappeared into her bedroom to take the call, leaving Shion alone with Nana at the table. The older woman was leaning against the window, taking sips of her beer from time to time. Just as Shion was worried the silence between them had gotten too long, Nana spoke.

"Do you have feelings for Nobu?"

"What?" Shion's voice was a squeak. "Do I…? Why would you…?"

Nana smiled. "You just seem to have grown very close in the small time that you've known each other. He seems to be quite protective of you too."

"We are- He is- I mean I hope so." She felt herself getting tongue-tied the more flustered she became. How she felt about Nobu was complicated, but it wasn't romantic. Maybe that was the part that made it complicated. She still felt herself wanting to be closer, wanting to do things together, feeling happy when he thought of her; but from what she had read about love, she didn't feel weak at the knees, or have butterflies in her tummy. But she still found herself wanting to be closer than she was. Was that normal?

"I don't think of him in that way." she said slowly. "But I do want to be closer to him. He's a precious friend to me - you all are, of course, but Nobu is… he's…"

"He's special, right?" Nana said, eyes filled with understanding. "He's supportive, and when he loves he puts his whole heart into it. He makes you feel loved, where otherwise you'd feel empty."

Shion stared at her. "Exactly! How did you manage to phrase it so perfectly?"

Nana sipped her beer. "Because that's what he did for me, back in high school." She looked at Shion again. "I'm glad there's someone else who cares about him so much. Look after him for me, 'kay?" Shion nodded.

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

On the 25th, Shion had an appointment at the hospital to remove her ankle boot. She'd been planning to take a bus that morning with Hachi who was heading to her new job at a magazine company, but Yasu had offered to drive her instead when he'd turned up that morning to check on the three of them. Since Yasu had said he would be moving to Tokyo, they'd be drinking excessively almost every night since and it was beginning to have an effect on Nobu in particular. Shin had taken Nobu home after the young man had passed out on the way to the shop last night and most likely would be nursing a hangover, unable to accompany her as he'd promised. Shion was nervous at the prospect of being alone with someone who she hadn't really spoken to, but she knew Yasu was a good person and he looked after Nana and everyone in her social circle. She could trust him.

"It must have been a pain to wear that boot for as long as you have." Yasu said, as they stopped at a red light. She was inclined to agree, but she remembered how being injured had allowed her to spend more time with Nobu since he'd walk her to the bus stop and go with her to work. He'd aided her whenever he could and it had allowed them to grow closer without her shy attitude messing everything up. An excuse for the two of them to talk as much as they did. She hoped that feeling wouldn't fade away now that her ankle was healed.

"It's been okay." she said finally. Wanting to change the subject, she spoke up. "Are you looking forward to band practice tonight? Nana was raving about it this morning."

He smiled. "She seems to be happier now that she's living with you and Nana."

The traffic lights when green and the car began to move again. Yasu took the final turn towards the hospital car park. "Would you like me to wait in the car, or come in with you?" he asked, pulling into the parking lot.

"Oh, you don't have to do either, honest! Just drop me off here - I can get a bus or something if I'm too tired to walk back."

Yasu looked uncertain. "I'd feel better if I could see for myself that you were okay to walk by yourself."

"It barely hurts anymore, I swear!" she insisted. "And I promise I'll get the bus if it gets too much. I just really wanna walk once the boot comes off. I'll call you if something goes wrong."

That seemed to satisfy him and he nodded. "Then I suppose I'll see you at practice tonight."

She nodded. "Yep! Thank you for the lift."

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

Shion was free. Her ankle was still sore in places, but the doctor had said it would get better once she got used to walking without the support. He'd encouraged her to walk for thirty minutes a day, but not to strain herself too early on. Work started for her in half an hour and it would take about half that to walk there. Nobu would have his shift as well, and she couldn't wait to show him that her ankle was fine again.

She walked through the doors of the record store with fifteen minutes to spare, and sure enough Nobu was already there sorting through a box of new music that had come in that morning, looking half dead. Clearly the hangover was a bad one.

"Good morning!" she said happily, practically skipping around to the other side of the counter. He looked up from what he was doing and he gave her a small smile.

"You've come from the hospital, right? I'm sorry I couldn't come with you - it took me everything just to get to work this morning."

She shook her head. "It's fine. Yasu drove me instead. And look!" She did a small pirouette. "My ankle feels great!"

"My, you're energetic today Nishimura-chan. Did something good happen?" Shion whirled around to see the manager, Yoshida-san regarding her curiously. Immediately she felt blood rise to her cheeks. Had he seen that?

"She went to the hospital and got her ankle boot taken off." Nobu said, jumping in for her. She smiled at him gratefully.

"I see. Then that's wonderful news." The old man smiled. "Use that energy and work hard for me today. I'm counting on you Nishimura-chan, Terashima-kun."

"_Hai_."

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

With her foot healed it had meant Shion was free to do far more of her work duties that until then Nobu had been covering for her. Due to his hangover, they had found their positions reversed that day, until they were let off at 3pm. Nobu had mostly taken care of customers, while she'd set up the new TRAPNEST display that the manager had wanted. He'd ordered boxes of merchandise filled with posters, shirts, keychains, and even signed records that he wanted in the window display, hoping to attract more customers. When she'd finished arranging everything, she stood back to admire her handiwork, and she had to admit that if she'd been a TRAPNEST fan walking past, she'd want to take a look.

At Nobu's request, the two of them headed to the same diner they'd eaten at before for a late lunch. The diner that Hachi's boyfriend Shouji worked at. Shion couldn't help noticing that Nobu seemed to be watching Shouji move around the restaurant every now and then, but didn't have the courage to bring it up. After leaving, Nobu smiled at her sheepishly.

"I've been pretty bad company today, huh? That's the last time I drink so much in one go. The hangover was brutal."

"It's okay." she said. "I'm just glad we could hang out."

"You'll be coming to our practice later, right?" Nobu said. She nodded.

"Then I'll see you later. Sorry, but I think I might head home and try to sleep the rest of this off."

She waved him away. "Of course! See you later."

She was left alone with her thoughts when she returned home. Both Nana and Hachi were out still, and so she sat at the table staring at her cellphone, her thoughts returning to the letters she had received over a week ago now. She wished she had some way to contact her father. It wasn't fair for him to dump his news on her when he'd already left the country. He hadn't given her the name of the hospital, or even the name of his illness. There was no way for her to find him if he didn't want to be found. Would she even know if something happened to him? Would her stepmother even bother to get in contact with her? It was something she didn't want to think about.

There was a knock on the door, and she jumped up, already bolting towards her bedroom. She wished the apartment had a peephole. At least then she'd know whether it was safe to answer the door herself.

"It's me~! Is anyone there?" Shion relaxed slightly when she recognised the voice. Shin. She calmed herself and slowly opened the door, letting him in.

"Is it just you, Shion?" he asked. "Where are the others?"

"Nana and Hachi are both out at the moment." she said politely. "But you're welcome to stay here and wait for them." At that moment she heard her ringtone play through the apartment. It was Vivaldi's _Spring._ She hurried to answer it.

"_Moshimoshi?_"

"**Hello. Am I speaking to Shion Nishimura?" **The voice on the other end spoke entirely in English and she barely understood anything that had been said. Immediately she began to panic. She didn't know anyone who was fluent in English - especially not foreigners!

"Uh… I... "

"**Hello? Can you hear me?"**

She thought back to the English she had been taught throughout school but her anxiety was making her knowledge elude her. She had no idea how to communicate to this person.

"**I am… Shion… Nishimura**_." _She struggled to articulate and her accent was terrible. Sitting at the table across from her, Shin raised his eyebrow curiously.

"**I'm one of the nurses at the hospital overseeing your father. Are you okay to talk right now?"**

What did that mean? She tried going back over the sentence in her head and picked out two words. _Hospital. Father. _Was the other person talking about her father? Had something happened? She needed to know but she had no idea how to say it.

The frustration must have shown on her face because Shin gestured to her. "Speaker phone." He mouthed. "I can help." Not having another option, she did as she was told.

**"Hello? Do you want to talk to Shion Nishimura? She doesn't speak English but I'd be happy to interpret your message for her." **Shion could barely believe her ears. Shin spoke English perfectly.

"**Oh! I'm afraid I can't disclose detailed patient information to anyone but immediate family, but I can tell you about his condition." **Shin relayed the message back to Shion and she nodded.

**"She says that's fine. What can you tell her?"**  
**"Her father had a heart attack last night but is in stable condition. He wanted to call her himself to reassure her that he was alright, but his wife asked me to do it instead. He's on new medication and currently preparing for his treatment that will take place in a few months. He sends his love."**

Shion bit her lip when the message was translated. Her father had a heart attack? Was his health that poor? Why hadn't she noticed it before? She was at a loss for words.

"Tell them 'thank you for letting me know'." She told Shin. "And to tell my father I love him."

He did as she said and the call ended. They sat in silence as she went over what had happened. Eventually she looked at Shin.

"Thank you for helping me. I wouldn't have known what had happened at all if you weren't here."

"It seems like a lot has happened since you left practice to go to that family dinner." he said, pulling out his pack of cigarettes and letting one dangle from the corner of his mouth before lighting it.

"I… yes. A lot has happened." She slumped over, resting her head in her hands. "Why does family have to be so complicated?"

"Who knows?"

"My father… he told me he was being transferred to work in America when I went to dinner with him. Then a couple of days ago I got a letter from him saying he lied, and actually he was being hospitalised in America and I probably wasn't going to see him for years." she clenched her fist and looked up at Shin. "Right after I decided I didn't want anything to do with him - he goes and drags me back to worrying about him. It's not fair! Why does he get to treat me like I don't exist for _years_ and then act like I'm the sole reason for his existence?! He let that witch of a stepmother do whatever she wanted and I just had to take it, as a child. And he just stood and watched every time it happened. He didn't _care_! So why do I have to care now? _Why do I care so much?_" She choked on angry tears and buried her head back in her hands so that Shin couldn't see her cry.

After a few moments of sniffling, she raised her head and looked at Shin, who was still sitting with her patiently, and she felt that even though he wasn't talking, he was still offering her his support.

"Please don't tell the others about this." she said, wiping her eyes. "I don't want them to worry."

"They would worry." Shin said. "But I don't think that's a bad thing. You must have figured it out by now." She looked at him quizzically and he rolled his eyes but there was a teasing kindness behind the gesture. "You've got some good friends, Shion. It's okay to lean on them when you need to. No one is gonna complain."

She was still hesitant and he sighed. "At least tell me if the hospital calls again. I can help you as an interpreter."

"Thank you, Shin."

He lowered his voice and his eyes were playful. "And if you want someone to help you take your mind off things for an hour, just call me. I've always got time for you~"

She felt her face redden and he laughed. "I was joking. Or was I?" He was still laughing as she disappeared into her room to wait until the others returned. Still, it seemed as though the two of them had bonded over something, although Shin was still so mysterious it was hard to know for sure.

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

She dropped by the diner again on the way to band practice. Intent on arriving early so she could get some violin practice in, she'd left Shin alone in the apartment to wait for Nana and Hachi. She still hired a room in the same studio as the others but Nana had told her that it made no sense for her to pay for a whole new room on days when she'd be there anyway to watch BLAST practice.

"We've got the room for 3 hours each day." Nana had told her. "But we only really mess around during the last hour. You should use that last hour instead - you can get some extra practice in that way." Shion had wanted to hug her when she'd made the suggestion. Instead she figured she could repay her friends by bringing them burgers.

She recognised Hachi's boyfriend tending to tables when she entered. After ordering food to go, she was left to her own devices for ten minutes while everything was prepared. She decided to slip off to the bathroom, located next to the staff entrance at the back of the establishment. It had seemed like a good idea, until she came out only to hear things she knew weren't for her ears.

"Sachiko? Are you okay?"  
There was the faint sound of sniffling and a girl replied. "Shouji?" Shion's heart plummeted. Shouji? She thought the voice seemed familiar.

"Are you okay? Those guys were harassing you earlier, weren't they? I _knew_ I should have told them to back off!"

"It's okay, Shouji." The girl said. "It didn't bother me."

"How could it not bother you?" Shouji said. "And it definitely did. You're crying. It bothered me too. How dare they treat you like that. I.." His voice lowered and Shion wished she couldn't hear it but her feet were glued to the floor. "I don't want any other guy touching you except me."

"Shouji…"

Shion had heard enough. She stumbled away from the door and collected her order, her smile taut.

Hachi's boyfriend was cheating on her. Hachi's boyfriend was _cheating on her_. There was no way the conversation she had overheard would have taken place between just simple co-workers. More than anything she now wished she hadn't heard anything, that she was ignorant. What was she supposed to do? What was the morally correct thing to do? To tell Hachi and be the reason she discovers something heart-breaking? To confront Shouji - who she had nothing to do with? Telling Nana would be the same as telling Hachi, and Nobu would want Hachi to know as well.

_What was she supposed to do?!_

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•


	10. heartache

Shion arrived at the studio an hour before the others, hoping that playing the violin would take her mind of the dilemma she had found herself in. It hadn't been going very well. Her mind was reeling with the discovery of Shouji's tryst and she didn't have the ability to block it out. Instead, it was like her mind was on high alert, blaring loudly that she needed to figure something out.

But to tell Hachi… it would break her heart. And it wasn't as if anyone knew that she knew. No one would blame her for keeping quiet. No one except herself. She slumped into a chair, resting her violin on her knees with a sigh. She wondered what she would want if their positions were reversed and Hachi had discovered Shion's partner was cheating on her. Would she want Hachi to tell her? How would she feel if Hachi knew but didn't tell her? It wasn't quite as easy to imagine as she hoped. She had no idea what romantic love felt like, or how much a betrayal like that would hurt. But the answer was there in her heart, and no matter how uncomfortable it made her, she needed to do it. She needed to tell Hachi.

"We're here~~!" Ten minutes later Hachi bounded into the room, followed by Nana, Nobu, Shin, and finally Yasu. Shion bolted up, almost forgetting about the instrument on her knees and catching it before it tumbled to the ground.

"You're all here!" She bit her lip. Was it better to tell her before or after practice? Hachi was humming under her breath, watching reverently as Nana and the others set up their gear. Yasu seated himself at the drumset, and caught Shion's gaze.

"Is something wrong, Shion-chan?" Everyone in the room turned to look at her and she froze.

"Um… well, uh… no? I'm just… really looking forward to hearing you today!" They smiled and went back to setting up. Hachi looped arms with her, eyes shining.

"_Ne, ne, _Shion-chan! Have you thought about joining BLAST yet?"

"Well actually, uh…" She took a deep breath. _Calm down Shion. You need to act normally or else everyone will realise that there really is something wrong. _"It's not like I absolutely don't want to join." she said. "It's just, I'm still sorting through what my plans were for my music career if I'd entered university."

"Is classical music really that fun?"

Shion smiled. "Rather than fun… it's more like a different way of breathing. It can be calming or powerful, or sorrowful, or joyful - sometimes all in one piece. When I play, I feel alive… and I feel connected to my mother. I don't really have any experience comparing how that feels to playing with BLAST."

Hachi nodded sympathetically, but someone tapped on Shion's shoulder.

"Maybe you should play with us today and get an idea." Nana grinned, holding her hand out to the younger girl. Shion stared at it, hesitant but Nana continued to make her case.

"You're a talented musician, Shion. Take a leap of faith with us, even if it's just for tonight."

Well, they'd probably forget all about her participation after she revealed her news to Hachi. Maybe it would be okay if it was just the one time. There was no way she could get attached if it was just one session.

"Okay."

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

Nana positioned her next to Nobu on his guitar, winking as she took her place by the microphone.

"I know we don't have an official violin part yet," she said. "But you figured out how to transcribe our song by ear, so I think you'll be fine to improvise. Don't freak out over the specifics - your job is just to have fun, 'kay?" She nodded, readying her violin on her shoulder. Nana nodded to Nobu and the music began.

_When I was darkness at that time fueteru kuchibiru _

_Heya no katasumi de I cry _

_Mogakeba mogaku hodo tsukisasaru kono kizu _

_Yaburareta yakusoku hurt me_

_When I was darkness at that time, with trembling lips_

_I cry in the corner of my room _

_The more I struggle, the more these wounds pierce into me _

_Our broken promises hurt me_

_Nobody can save me _

_Kamisama hitotsu dake _

_Tomete saku you na my love_

_God, I have one request _

_Stop tearing apart my love_

_I need your love _

_I'm a broken rose _

_Maichiru no kanashimi your song _

_Ibasho nai kodoku na my life_

_You song is fluttering sadness _

_I have nowhere to go, my lonely life_

_I need your love _

_I'm a broken rose. _

_Oh baby, help me from frozen pain _

_With your smile, your eyes, _

_And sing just for me_

_I wanna need your love... _

_I'm a broken rose _

_I wanna need your love…_

Shion lost herself in the wonderful, brashness of rock; violin singing alongside Nobu's guitar, Shin's bass, Yasu's drums, and Nana's voice. It was so different to playing classical music alone - she could feel the hearts of everyone playing with her, their souls combining to create something magical. Never in a million years had she imagined playing in a band would feel like this. For the first time in her life she felt... powerful.

She played her last notes with an abruptly stopped tremolo, her bow raised high, and the breath she had held in somewhere during the song came bursting out of her. She barely had time to regain control before Nana threw her arms around her, ruffling her hair.

"I knew you could do it! I knew it! That was awesome, Shion!"

Her energy was infectious and the smile on Shion's face went from ear to ear. "I loved that!"

Nana hugged her more tightly, carefully avoiding crushing the violin. "I knew you would. What did the rest of you think?" She aimed the question at her bandmates and Hachi, all of whom seemed to share her enthusiasm.

"You've got to join BLAST now Shion-chan!" Hachi enthused. "You all belong together - I can feel it."

"You're truly talented." Yasu said. "I was surprised the sound of your violin blended in as well as it did."

"If she joins, imagine all the guys who'll be tripping over themselves to see her play." Shin said, smirking when Shion squeaked in response. Surely, he was joking? But as much as she respected the opinion of those four, there was one person she hadn't heard speak yet. She turned to him now.

"Nobu? What did you think?"

His face was neutral and for a moment she was scared that he'd hated it after all. Instead he ruffled her hair too and gave her a thumbs up. "I was all for you joining BLAST even before I heard you play with us. But now there's no question about it - you _belong_ with us." Shion smiled shyly. The five of them watched her expectantly and time seemed to slow. It felt strange to think she'd been so hesitant about her decision before, when now even after playing just one song, her heart ached to play another with these people.

"I… would love that. If you'd have me."

Nana punched the air triumphantly. "Yes~! Hell yes!"

Nobu grinned. "Then you're one of us now. Welcome to BLAST - the best band in Japan!" Her heart felt full for the first time in her life. She was going to faint from happiness if this kept up. She would never trade the memory of this day for anything.

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

They returned to apartment 707 to celebrate BLAST's newest band member - an affair that had them drinking until early morning. Shion had her fair share of fun listening to Nobu and Nana butt heads over stories from their high school, and Hachi's melodic laughter ringing over top of the chaos. Eventually Nana turned her attention to the one member of their party who had abstained from drinking alcohol thus far.

"_Oi_ Shion~" she whined, scooching closer to where she sat next to Shion. "Why don't you just have a little sip of my beer, It won't kill you, I promise."

"I'll have to pass, sorry Nana." she said. "It smells so bad I couldn't even think about actually drinking the stuff."

"It's not that bad, honest~" Nana said, holding her beer can towards Shion. "Just one sip. Please~~~~? Do it for me~~~!" Shion stared at the can. It wasn't without temptation. The smell was truly vulgar, but she'd watched her friends drink like this for a while now, and part of her envied how much fun they seemed to have while tipsy.

"A sip." she said. Nana's face lit up and she felt everyone stare at her in disbelief. "And _only_ because I've already stepped out of my comfort zone today anyway." She gingerly picked up the can which was almost empty and brought it to her lips, nose wrinkling when the smell hit her.

She knocked it back, cringing as the harsh taste of alcohol burned her throat. Her face must have seemed strange because her audience began to laugh, not unkindly.

"So?" Nana wanted to know, nudging her with her elbow. "Not bad, right?"

"It's disgusting." Shion said. "Seriously."

The other woman just laughed. "It's an acquired taste. Don't force yourself though."

"I wasn't planning on it." Shion accepted the glass of water that Hachi brought her instead, and Nana cracked open another beer can, raising it high.

"To our newest band member! BLAST is now back and better than ever!"

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

The next week passed in a blur and suddenly May had arrived. Shion's schedule mostly consisted now of work and band practice, as well as individual practice sessions. BLAST had been blessed with a 30 minute performance slot at an event scheduled at the Shimokita Concert Room on the 5th. Because of her place in BLAST she had stopped hiring a practice room on the days when the band didn't have practice, and focused instead on making violin parts for all of the songs in BLAST's repertoire ready for the day. Nobu had been invaluable in this process - he was a truly talented composer with an ear for these things. After work when they had shifts together, they'd disappear into a nearby cafe to work on adding violin to the old songs, as well as creating completely new ones. Nobu had ideas that would test Shion's limits and she loved discussing how creative they could be with the violin sounds.

He was her best friend.

But she still had a problem to contend with. One that she should have told Hachi a week ago. With all the excitement of her joining the band, Shion hadn't yet told Hachi about Shouji and she had a bad feeling that she was running out of time. _I'll tell her tonight after dinner, _she decided. Her roommates had decided to have a nice home cooked dinner that evening, just the three of them. It wasn't the best time to bring up what she'd heard at the restaurant last week, but when _was _the right time to tell your friend her boyfriend was being unfaithful?

That evening she helped Hachi prepare the batter for making takoyaki, while Nana sat at the table behind them, eyes closed, humming under her breath.

"I think I might surprise Shouji after work tomorrow." Hachi said, beginning to whisk the batter. "It feels like I've barely seen him since I moved to Tokyo." She batted her eyelashes at Shion and Nana.

"You two will come with me to the restaurant, won't you~?"

Nana groaned. "Nope."

"Nana~ Please!" Hachi rounded on Shion. "How about you Shion? Will you wait for him with me?"

_If I tell you what I know tonight, you probably won't want to wait for him anyway._ Shion bit her lip. The subject she had been dreading had come up earlier than she had expected.

"Uh… well… about that…"

Hachi leaned in closer, pouting. "Please~~? It's getting so dark at night these days! And we can get something to eat there too."

"Yes but... " Shion took a deep breath. "I… I have to tell you something, Hachi."

The older girl looked curious and must have noticed Shion's anxiety because she put the bowl of batter aside and smiled kindly. "What is it? You can tell me anything."

_Your boyfriend is cheating on you. _That was all she had to say. How would Hachi react? She'd probably cry, or say that she had to be mistaken and go tomorrow night anyway to 'prove it wasn't true'. No matter what she said, Hachi was probably in for a harsh breakup.

"I was… at the restaurant last week and…"

Hachi encouraged her with another smile. "Take all the time you need."

"I think I heard something… I wasn't supposed to hear. About Shouji."

Instead of the grim look Shion had expected, Hachi's face lit up. "About Shouji? Really? Was he talking about me?" Just as Shion went to reply, the other girl jumped in again. "Something you weren't supposed to hear? Surely that doesn't mean… no way!" Hachi was _beaming_. "Don't tell me he was talking about the _future!? _His future with _me!?_"

Shion went quiet and that was when Nana stepped in. More perceptive than Hachi, she seemed to have guessed that whatever Shion wanted to say was nowhere near as optimistic as Hachi thought it was going to be.

"Sit down Hachiko." she said. "Let Shion finish before you get carried away."

Hachi did so, pouting. Shion sat opposite her, next to Nana. "It's just… I heard him, and it was definitely him. One of the waitresses was crying I think, because some customers had harassed her. I think he was checking on her when I overheard everything."

"My Shouji is so kind~!" Hachi said dreamily.

"What did you hear, Shion-chan?" Nana said.

"He asked if she was okay and when she said she was… he said he was angry that she was touched… by… by…!"

Nana put a hand over her own. "By what?"

"_By someone other than him."_ Shion whispered. "Hachi… I'm so sorry. I should have told you sooner…! I didn't know what to do… how to say it…" She dared to lift her gaze to Hachi. The other girl wasn't moving and she had a strange expression on her face. And then she just smiled, although it wasn't as strong as before.

"You must have been mistaken, Shion-chan. Shouji isn't that kind of guy."

"But-"

"You'll see. Come with me when I see him at the restaurant tomorrow. We'll get everything straightened out. You don't need to look so worried - I'm sure this is just a big misunderstanding."

"Maybe."

"Looks like I'll be tagging along after all." Nana said. "Someone needs to keep you two out of trouble. And if it is true, I want the pleasure of punching him myself."

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

Shouji was tending the register when their group of four arrived at the restaurant. Shin had also tagged along, although they hadn't filled him in on the underlying purpose of their trip yet. Hachi was still adamant that Shouji would never cheat on her and for her sake, Shion hoped she had just misunderstood the conversation she had overheard.

"Shouji!" Hachi's face lit up when she saw him. "Here we are! Sorry to come without any notice."

Shouji seemed speechless when Hachi quickly pushed Shin and Shion towards him.

"Good to meet you." Shin said, a charming smile on his face. "I'm Shin, the bass player."

"_Nishimura Shion desu._" Shion mumbled, bowing her head. "We met a while ago. I play the violin for the band."

Shouji collected himself and greeted them both. Nana got straight to business.

"Hachiko's the only one who really wanted to see you. We came purposely for you, so can you give us some food?"

"Err… well I can get you a table." he said at last. Hachi perked up, her eyes shining. Shion saw Shouji look warily towards the booths by the window, where a female waitress was serving customers before looking away quickly. Was that the girl?

"Over here please!" he said, flustered.

"No, I'd prefer to be over by the window." Hachi said, already heading towards an empty booth with Nana. The two of them had already begun discussing what to have for dinner, and Nana seemed set on the idea that Shouji would be paying.

Shouji disappeared as they were getting seated and Hachi quickly scanned the restaurant for him.

"He's probably gone to get some water." Nana told her. "Calm down and stay seated."

"You're boyfriend is classy, Nana-san." Shin said. "His uniform suits him."

Hachi beamed. "Yeah? But when he speaks, he just sounds dumb."

_CRASH!_ The sound of glass shattering on the floor made them all turn their heads to see the same female waitress staring at the mess in shock. Another waitress soon came over to chastise her, and hurried off to bring something to clean it up. The offending waitress continued to pick up the mess with her hands, gasping in pain when the shards sliced through her finger.

To their surprise, Hachi was on her feet first, offering her handkerchief to the waitress.

"Oh," the waitress said. "This handkerchief. You shouldn't have."

Hachi began to wrap it gently around the girl's finger. "I'm giving it to you, don't worry!" As she continued to fuss around the waitress, Shion felt a tug on her elbow.

"Hey Shion-chan. Is that…?"

Shion nodded and Nana's grip tightened. "Hachi will be devastated."

A few moments later, Hachi rejoined them. The mood settled somewhat after their food had been served and they got lost in conversation.

"In the end, eating when you have a mouth piercing isn't easy." Shin said, taking another bite.

Hachi sighed. "Every time I saw you I thought it seemed like you had another piercing, and now you've even got one on your mouth. You had such a pretty face - it'll probably be a problem when you kiss." Nana laughed at that comment, but Shin took it in his stride.

"No, it's been alright." The three girls stared at him in shock.

"Who did you kiss?" Nana wanted to know. "Nobu?"

"Huh? Nobu's gay? I thought he had a thing for Shion" Shin said.

"That's not-" Shion began, but Nana had already taken over.

"No," Nana said. "But I thought _you_ were." she pointed at Shin, still watching him suspiciously. The boy just blinked.

"I'm straight."

"_Ne, _Shin," Hachi said. "Do you plan to keep staying at Nobu's place? You look a little thin."

"I only crash at his place occasionally, you know." Shin told them.

"Then where do you live?"

"At a woman's house. A different one each time."

Shion choked, and the other two seemed to be feeling the same way, their shocked faces begging for an elaboration.

"I'm only fifteen, and it's difficult for someone as fragile as me to find a job." he said. "But I understood that living _that_way I'd never have money problems. It'd be easy to survive in this world."

"You're a born idiot!" Nana raged. "One day you'll be killed by a woman."

"An idiot?" Shin mused. They didn't have time to explore the subject further because they were interrupted.

"Nana?"

"Oh Shouji! Where were you hiding?"

"Did you plan on doing something after this?" Shouji asked.

"No. Starting from tomorrow I've got four days off so I'll wait until you're done."

"You don't need to wait for me." Shouji had a serious expression on his face, and it must have reminded Hachi of what Shion had said because her face was strange again. "Can I come to your house after my job?" he asked. "We need to talk."

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

Shion, Hachi, and Nana sat outside the restaurant, waiting for Shouji to finish his shift. Shin had left them to meet a female client, so it was up to Shion and Nana to support Hachi. She'd been quiet compared to her usual lively chatter. The air was chilly and Nana had thrown her leather jacket over Hachi, who snuggled into it.

"He had such a serious expression." she murmured. "After what Shion told me… I'm so worried that if I went back home, it'd torment me. Sorry to have forced you both to stay with me."

Shion reached for her friend's hand and squeezed it. "We're here for you. Always."

"Thank you, Shion-chan." Nana was humming again, and it filled the silence but couldn't disguise the tension in the air. They were waiting for the inevitable.

"Sachiko!" The first thing they saw was a slim shadow running out from the restaurant. Shion recognised the waitress who Hachi had helped, and she soon recognised the figure that chased after her only to pull her close in an embrace. She felt Hachi tense up beside her as the scene unfolded before them. And then Shouji and the girl noticed their audience for the first time, their expressions both filled with guilt.

Nana spoke first. "Shouji. What the hell are you doing? Who's this girl?"

Shouji sighed. "My girlfriend."

"_What?!"_ Nana glared at him. "Idiot. You have two girlfriends then. Such a good life. So you were right after all, Shion." Shion felt Shouji's eyes slide to look at her in surprise.

"You knew? So you came here…?"

"Because Hachi didn't think you'd actually do it." Nana said. "She was prepared to give you the benefit of the doubt. But no, you're a scumbag after all." Stood between her two friends, tears began to fall down Hachi's cheeks. Nana scuffed her cigarette, lunging forward, fist intent on Shouji's face. Shion's heart raced as things escalated.

"STOP!" The other girl named Sachiko screamed, clinging onto Nana's arm so that she couldn't hit him. "Don't hurt Shouji!"

"Leave it, Sachiko!" Shouji pleaded. "Don't butt in."

"It's got nothing to do with you!" Nana said furiously. "Don't you _dare_ come in between. I won't be alright if I don't break his face."

"It's you that has nothing to do with it!" Sachiko told her. "If you feel like hitting someone, then hit me! I was the one who fell in love with him! Even if I knew he had a girlfriend, it was too strong - nothing could stop me. I won't run away or hide anymore, so hit me until you feel satisfied!" She was trembling, but the small girl stood her ground, shielding Shouji from harm.

Nana cracked her knuckles. "That's very brave."

"No, please!" Shouij begged. Nana ignored him and focused back on Hachi.

"Hachiko!" she yelled. "Why aren't you doing anything? It's your battle - you have to lead it!"

Shion was still holding Hachi's hand, but the girl's fingers were limp. Tears still flooded her eyes in her state of shock. She was transfixed on Shouji, who held Sachiko protectively.

"If you don't fight, you'll lose!" Nana said. "Isn't he your boyfriend? Get him back!"

"_I don't want him."_ Hachi murmured, looking away. "I… don't even want to see his face anymore." Shion watched as Shouji looked away, shamefully. The situation wrapped up quickly after that. There was nothing more to be said. They lead Hachi away, Shion holding one hand, Nana holding the other. Hachi quietly sobbed, and no one said anything. When they got home, Nana pushed Hachi into her bed, ready to hold her through the night. Hachi got lonely easily.

Even from her own room, Shion heard the sobbing continue through the night.

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•


	11. precious ones

The night of BLAST's first performance arrived three days after the fiasco with Shouji. The band had spent every evening since then practising their set over and over again until they could all play it in their sleep. Shion hadn't even thought about the fact that she'd soon be playing in front of hundreds of strangers, when a few weeks ago even playing in front of one seemed impossible. Shion stood backstage, tapping the scroll of her violin gently. She wasn't a 'rocker' but it was necessary for her to look the part so Hachi and Nana had taken her shopping that morning to find herself some clothes. The black dress that cut off above her knees she could just about handle. The fishnet stockings and the spike choker? A different story.

"It looks great!" Hachi reassured her. "Just wait until I've done your hair!" Her hair had been put into two small, loose buns on either side of her head. It was definitely… a look. She stared at her reflection backstage, barely recognising herself after Nana had shown her how to apply mascara. The older girl had kept it light, applying just enough to draw attention to her eyes, but so much that she looked like a panda.

Soon they were called to get ready. Nana clapped her on the back.

"You'll nail it. We're all standing up there with you, plus," she added with a wink. "They'll probably all be looking at me anyway." Nobu retorted something about her being full of herself but she just laughed. Shion was grateful to the singer. If she could just focus on the music, rather than the crowd then she knew she'd be fine. They'd gotten to the concert room early when not much of a crowd had formed, but from backstage she could hear the raucous whoops and the stampede of punk fans enjoying their night. This was, after all, Punk Night. Well, they'd take what performance opportunities they could get. This could be the beginning of something big, after all. Hachi had said she would come with her friends - the event had perked her up considerably after the break up, although her excitement did come across as forced at times.

Before they walked out on stage, Nobu pulled her aside.

"Shion - you're shaking." It was true. Her legs felt so much like jelly it was a miracle she could even walk, and her stomach was melting. But the worst part was her fingers, if they shook this much when she was on stage, it would be impossible for her to play properly.

"I… hadn't noticed…" she said, not sure if she was trying to be sarcastic or not. Nobu grabbed her free hand and held it between them, palm up. She watched as he traced the kanji for 'person' on her palm with his finger, something her father used to do for her when she was younger. She brought it to her mouth and took a deep breath after she 'ate' it. Nobu watched her carefully.

"Better?"

"Better."

He gave her hand one last squeeze. "Remember, I'm next to you the entire time."

The five of them walked out onto the stage, and a hush fell over the room. Shion could hear her heart pounding and sighted Hachi at the front, her face enchanted by them. Nana stepped up to the microphone.

"_Konbanwa. BLAST desu."_

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

Nobu threw his arms around Shion once they'd gotten off the stage.

"That was so awesome~~!" He was drunk on happiness.

"N-Nobu?!" The sudden display of affection had taken her off guard but he took no notice. She saw Shin grin at her.

"Just let him do it, Shion." The younger boy said. "Better you than me." No sooner had he said it, Nana put him into a headlock and he protested loudly.

"You improvised towards the end of the last song, didn't you Shin?" she said. "If it hadn't worked out as well as it did, I would have kicked your ass!"

"And this isn't a punishment?!" Shin gasped for air, and Nana swatted him.

"You can be such a brat sometimes!"

Nobu released his grip on Shion and stepped back, looking sheepish. "I got carried away. Sorry 'bout that."

"Not at all."

Nana let Shin out of his misery and turned to Nobu. "I think I saw Hachiko at the front. Let's go find her!" They found Hachi with her friends Junko and Kyousuke, as well as a longtime fan of Nana - a young girl named Misato. They all returned to apartment 707 to celebrate together, and Shion was just happy she could change into something more comfortable.

"I was seriously impressed." Junko was saying. "You guys showed you have potential. The bands that followed after you seemed like they were part of a school event in comparison."

"Your sound is great," Kyousuke agreed. "I never thought rock would be a good genre for the violin, but it worked well. How do I put it… When you're on stage, you have a presence that has nothing in common with other groups. It was really impressive." The comment made Shion's heart swell with pride and she wiped away a stray tear. Nobu seemed to be struggling to keep his emotions in check too.

"Thank you Kyousuke-san! Junko-san!"

"No need to be so polite, Nobu." Kyousuke said. "We're the same age."

"I thought you were as old as Yasu-san." Shin said.

"It's Nobu that looks like a kid." Nana teased. "Well, Shion too." Shion felt blood rush to her face and she smiled awkwardly, opting to finish her glass of water instead. The moment she felt the last of the sweet liquid go down her throat she looked down at where the glass had been on the table. Strangely, there was another glass of water on the table. Had Hachi brought her a refill?

Her question was answered when Shin, who was sitting next to her, reached for the glass. Oh! Kyousuke had brought them a bottle of coconut liqueur he'd got at Jackson's as a gift for the band.

"What the? Is this water?" Shin said. On the other side of him, Nobu noticed his dilemma.

"You lost your drink?" Shin nodded.

"I must've got Shion's water instead."

Shion could feel the two boys come to stare at her and she waved at them dreamily. The lights sure were bright in here, huh? It made her head feel hot, her throat dry. She wanted more of that sweet drink she'd had accidentally.

"Well that solves that question." Shin said, stifling a laugh. Nobu was a little more serious, and tried to get through the alcohol's influence on his own brain long enough to check on her.

"Are you feeling okay, Shion?"

"So good." she sighed. "It's criminal really. What would my father say?" _Well at least he's in America. And the only other people she knew in Japan were all in this room with her. Her bandmates were her family now. _The thought of it made her squeal and she let her head rest on Shin's shoulder. "I'm so happy right now."

The others were talking about the younger girl, Misato. She'd come all the way from Nana's hometown to listen to BLAST at a moment's notice from Nana.

"Nana informed me over the phone." Misato said happily.

"Ah, really?" Nobu said, looking at Nana.

"I was just letting her know." Nana said. "I didn't think she'd actually come."

"Oh! Is it a problem?" Misato asked, her worry showing.

"No, not at all," Nana said. "I'm glad."

The hour was getting late and Shion's head was fuzzy. The sleepier she got the less she could focus on her surroundings. At some point Junko and Kyousuke left, signalling for the night to come to an end. Nobu, who usually would have been drunk, had managed to keep his state at tipsy without going over. She didn't know how she ended up tucked in her bed, with the lights finally turned off, but she was grateful to whoever put her there. Soon she drifted off into a deep sleep.

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

She woke around noon - thankfully she had a week off work because Yoshida-san had closed the record shop to visit family in Hokkaido. Shion didn't recall much of what had happened last night, but judging from the note on the dining table, Misato had stuck around for the day. It said Nana had taken Misato to Disneyland for the day. Hachi wasn't in her room, but the note was addressed to her as well. She still had some days off from her job at the magazine company - had she gone out for the day too?

Before she could wonder how she'd spend the day, her phone went off. It was a text from Nobu, asking if she wanted to hang out. That was easy to answer. He texted her the address to meet at and she left with her bag filled with her sheet music. If they worked hard, she'd be able to start learning new songs during her next practice session. It wasn't until she was standing outside the apartment complex that she realised Nobu had sent her directions to where he lived, rather than a cafe like she had been expecting. She rang the doorbell and a few seconds later Nobu answered, ushering her inside to sit at the table on the floor. Shion was so self-conscious, she hadn't noticed Shin sitting against the wall behind her, and when he poked her legs she almost screamed - something he found hilarious.

"You're so cute sometimes!" The younger boy said, his cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth. Shion blushed and looked apologetically at Nobu who had sat down opposite her.

"Sorry if I'm jumpy. I've never visited someone else's home before."

Shin's eyes widened. "_Maji de?_ What about your other friends, before you moved in with Nana-san and Hachi?"

"I, uh… didn't have any friends before I met Nana and Hachi."

"No way! Then that means you've never had a boyfriend, either?"

She froze and blood rose to her cheeks. "Wh-what does that have to do with anything?"

"You're so innocent~! Right, Nobu? Even _you've_ had a serious girlfriend before."

Shion brought her knees up to her chin and sighed. "I've just never… felt that way, and I don't really get the appeal. When the girls at school would talk about the guys they liked, I asked them why they cared so much. After that they left me alone."

"I don't think it's that big a deal." Nobu said. "I don't really care about being in a relationship either. I guess it depends on what each person wants to get out of it. It'd be nice to share a connection with someone though. Someone who just got me." In her heart Shion agreed too. Why did a relationship have to be romantic in order for it to be emotionally satisfying? Why couldn't two close friends discuss their relationship and support each other through the behaviours typically reserved for romantic relationships? Was that crazy to want?

She changed the subject.

"So do you two have any plans for the rest of the day?"

Nobu shook his head. "Just hanging out with you. Shin crashed here just after I invited you over."

"My last client paid really well." Shin said, and then he eyed Shion mischievously. "You _know_ what I do, don't you Shion? You were with Nana-san and Hachi when I told them."

"Just because I don't have any experience, doesn't mean I was born yesterday!" she hid her face, feeling embarrassed again. How did Shin manage to turn the subject back to this again? This time she was saved by her phone. Shin began to conduct Vivaldi's _Spring _before she picked up.

"_Moshimoshi?"_

"Shion."

Her hands flew to her mouth. "_Otou-san!?_ Has something happened? Are you okay?!"

"I'm fine, my daughter." He paused and she heard him try to muffle a nasty cough.

"You don't sound well." she said. "The nurse said you had a heart attack! What's really going on?" Across the table she saw a look of confusion cross Nobu's face. Oops. She hadn't told him about that part yet.

"It's nothing you need concern yourself with. Just know that I am well." He was really going to leave it at that? He could be dying and she'd have no way to know! She gathered what courage she had built since moving in with Nana and Hachi to pursue the subject further.

"You said in your letter you needed to get a treatment - what treatment? What are you sick with?"

"You don't need to know."

"Of course I do!" she raised her voice, feeling herself getting angry now. "You moved all the way to America at a moment's notice without even telling me you were sick! Do you have any idea how-" There was the sound of the phone being grabbed and she stopped to listen. Soon she heard her stepmother, and she returned to the timid Shion she had always been.

"How _dare_ you speak to your father like that when he's ill." she hissed. "If you weren't such a selfish, _selfish_ little girl, you would stop contacting him like this and let him recover in peace! You're just making things worse." _He was the one that called me_, she wanted to protest. She didn't. Because it had been a long time since she'd felt anything but fear towards her stepmother.

"_Hai._" she muttered. "I'm sorry. I won't call again."

"I'll let the hospital know too." The call ended and Shion let her phone fall to the floor.

"Your father is in hospital?" Nobu asked quietly. She nodded.

"I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to worry. Shin was the only one who knew and that was by accident."

"Is he alright? How sick is he?"

"He wouldn't tell me." she said. "He wouldn't tell me anything and then… my stepmother told me not to call anymore. That I was making things worse."

Behind her she heard Shin mutter, "Hag."

She folded her arms on the table and rested her head on them. "I hate family."

"You hate _that_ family." Shin said. "But we're your family too, Shion."

Nobu perked up at the idea. "Yeah! BLAST is your family - we'll support you now."

She smiled and closed her eyes. The phone call had taken all her strength to get through without crying. "Thank you… both of you."

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

After an initial rocky start to the day, things only began to look up. Shin left just as it was getting dark to visit another client, and after finishing off another song together, Shion and Nobu called it a day. Until Nobu had an idea.

"You've never visited a friend's place before now, right?"

She nodded.

"Then you've _got_ to have a movie night!" He was already up and pulling out junk food from the cupboards in his kitchenette.

"But it's already getting quite dark, and I've still got to get back." she said, peering out the window where the orange glow of streetlights was illuminating the evening sky.

"You can just stay here - I'll sleep on the floor." Then he froze and rubbed his neck sheepishly. "I guess it would be pretty uncomfortable for you to stay here alone with me. You're still a girl, after all."

"No! I'd love to!" she blurted out. "I said it before, didn't I? I don't get those sort of feelings - and I would really appreciate the pop culture education. I don't really watch movies."

The awkwardness melted from his face and he went back to getting food ready. "I can order food in for dinner - if you want, the movies are over by the wall there." He had a substantial movie collection and she had no idea what to pick. Until she saw a movie that she recognised. _My Neighbour Totoro,_ She used to watch that movie as a child, years before her father remarried.

When Nobu had finished ordering food, he came and sat down. "Did you find anything you wanted to watch?"

She shyly pushed her choice towards him. He studied it for a moment and then grinned. "That's just like you, Shion. It's cute."

"Thanks." she mumbled. They spent the next half hour chatting as they waited for the food to arrive. They weren't deep discussions, but she enjoyed them nonetheless. Everything from hobbies outside of music, to places in the world they wanted to visit, to what they wanted their dream house to look like. She felt so comfortable talking, it was hard to believe she once hid in her room the first time they met.

They sat next to each other during the movie, and after they finished eating Nobu pulled his blankets from his bed and they shared a cocoon. Watching a childhood movie, snuggled next to her best friend was bliss, and she couldn't help herself from drifting off to sleep on his shoulder.

She woke up with a start, temporarily confused. The room was dark, and her phone soon explained it was 3am. As far as she could tell she was still on the floor, next to a lump that was also breathing. Ah, it was Nobu. It must've been because they were sharing his blankets and he didn't want to wake her. Well, it would be their little secret. She slid back down, snuggling up closer to him so they were barely touching and let sleep take her until morning.

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•


	12. a mother's love

"_Heh~_ Shion's still here?" Shion woke to the sound of Shin's voice. Nobu hushed him.

"She's sleeping and I don't want to wake her up."

"But it's almost noon and she's laying right where I usually sit."

"Then sit somewhere else!"

She stirred, rubbing her eyes as she sat up; blankets shifting off her, revealing her to the cold.

"Nobu? Shin? _Ohayou._"

"_Ohayou_." Nobu was in the kitchenette. "I don't really have a lot of food right now. What do you usually have for breakfast?"

"I don't eat breakfast." she said.

He stared at her. "You've got to eat _something_ in the morning. You seriously don't eat something before you come to work?"

She shook her head and he sighed. Shin sat next to her, shoulder to shoulder, nudging her further and further away from where she had been sitting until he had reclaimed his usual spot with a cheeky smile.

"Looks like Nobu's worrying about you again. What did you guys do after I left?"

"We watched a movie." she told him. "It was… nice."

Nobu was focused on making toast and said nothing. Shin winked at her, "If you were with me it'd be more than just 'nice'. Ow~!" he pouted when she playfully hit his arm.

"You always tease me!" she complained.

"But it's so easy to do." he said. "Your reactions are even better than Hachi's." His eyes lit up when Nobu came over with a plate of toast and he reached for a piece before getting his hand swatted away.

"This is for Shion, not you." The blonde man said firmly.

"But I'm starving to death! Please, please let me have a piece~" his pleas went ignored by Nobu and so Shin turned his attention to Shion, who had already taken a small bite out of the other piece.

"Shion? Shion-chan? Shion-san? Shion-sama~?"

She blushed and without another word pushed the plate towards him. He laughed and took a large bite out of the bread. Nobu watched their exchange in disbelief.

"Now you've spoiled him Shion."

"That's fine by me." Shin said, still chewing. The three of them sat around the table, and she finished her meal while listening to Nobu and Shin banter with each other. Not long after that, there came a knock at the door. It was Hachi. The reason for her visit became obvious when Nobu invited her to sit with them, and she began her explanation. She had been speaking with Misato on the phone and had discovered that Hojou Ren - the guitarist for TRAPNEST - had once been a member of BLAST. With so many questions, Hachi had come seeking answers from Nobu.

"So that's why you came to my place." Nobu said, his face morphing into a mixture of sadness and nostalgia.

"Please tell me Nobu!" Hachi begged. "You know lots about it. I promise I won't sell the information to a magazine!"

Shin chuckled and went to light a cigarette but Hachi snatched the packet away from him. "You'll stunt your growth." she told him. "And why do you look so laid back? I thought you were a fan of Ren."

"Because I already knew." Shin said.

The three of them stared at him in surprise. Nobu in particular, was a mess.

"How? Don't tell me that's the reason you joined BLAST? Were you planning on following in his footsteps?"

"How conniving!" Hachi said.

Shin smiled. "No. You told me about it when you were drunk, Nobu. I guess you don't remember after all."

Nobu's face was frozen in horror. "Me? It can't be… when? When was it? I don't remember."'

"It was right after I joined. Yasu-san hadn't joined yet."

"_Ne, _Shin! Why didn't you tell me when you found out?" Hachi said, her eyes showing how hurt she was.

"Because no one usually talks about Ren." he replied, going to the fridge and pulling out a bottle of mineral water. "I thought it would probably be better if I pretended I didn't know anything."

Nobu looked at Shion, his face still guilty. "I'm really an idiot. I've got to stop drinking - it shouldn't be that hard!" She just smiled.

"You're so mature, Shin-chan." Hachi said. "If I knew, I wouldn't have been able to pretend I didn't know anything. I get excited right away - like today."

"That's what makes you cute, Hachi."

"Don't make fun of adults, Shin-chan!"

"But I'm not making fun of you."

"_Oi,_ Shin. What exactly did I tell you?" Nobu said, sounding sheepish. "As soon as you tell me, I'll tell you everything. And since I was drunk I might have said nonsense."

"Ren was BLAST's previous bass player. He was dating Nana and they lived together. But two years ago he was asked to be TRAPNEST's guitarist, and he went to Tokyo alone… There hasn't been any news since then."

Nobu lowered his head in shame. "I really told you everyone."

"Wait!" Hachi said. "What do you mean there wasn't any news? What about Nana?"

"They tearfully parted and that was how things ended between them." Shin said. "Right, Nobu?"

"Exactly." Nobu said. "I don't really have anything else left to say."

"But they didn't have to part just because Ren was going to Tokyo, right?" Hachi said.

"That's true." Shin said. "You had a good long distance relationship with your boyfriend and stayed a couple."

Hachi's eyes shifted around the room until they met Shion's for a brief moment. "Yeah… well, it ended as soon as I got here, but…"

"Huh? Ended?"

It was of particular interest to Nobu. "You broke up with your boyfriend, Hachi?"

"But we went to see him at work a few days ago!" Shin said.

"Yes, but…" she looked to Shion for help.

"It happened afterwards." Shion told them. Hachi nodded.

"I'll complain about it later to you two over a glass of alcohol."

"Ah, I think I'll be quitting drinking after this." Nobu said.

"Something happened for you to complain about?" Shin probed. "Did he cheat on you." Hachi froze and she exchanged meek looks with Shion. Shin sighed. "Right on, huh?"

"Right now it's important to focus on why Ren and Nana split up!" Hachi insisted, cheeks pink.

"I think you should talk to Nana directly about it." Shin said.

"_Absolutely not!"_ Nobu's voice made them all turn to stare at him.

"Why?" Hachi said, clinging on to him as she pleaded with her eyes. It took him aback and he mumbled his words.

"You know… we, uh… all have wounds that no one can touch."

"It is such a painful memory?" Shion asked. She hadn't spoken during this discussion - feeling out of place due to her own romantic inexperience. But now she was curious. How did romance manage to seperate people like Nana and Ren?

"If they parted with tears in their eyes, then that means they were fine together until then, right?" Shin said.

"Yes, but…" Nobu trailed off. "How do I put it? I don't especially hold a grudge against Ren and I don't want to say bad things about him but he decided to leave BLAST and join TRAPNEST without talking to either Nana or me. Yasu-san was the only one who knew. So when I learned the news, I felt like we were being betrayed and it was a big shock for me." Before she knew what she was doing, Shion had placed her hand over Nobu's and he squeezed it gratefully.

"As a rock musician, my pride was wounded." he continued. "I was disgusted. But Nana and I were conscious of Ren's capabilities and we respected him. We could see it would be better for him to be a part of TRAPNEST and that's what happened. So I think it's alright that way. She could've followed Ren to Tokyo when he left. Instead of choosing to be happy as a woman by his side, Nana chose to protect her pride. I think that's why she absolutely wants to become successful in music. She wants to reach the same level as TRAPNEST and Ren someday. Sometimes when I look at her my chest tightens."

Hachi was hanging on to his every word and he sighed. "Frankly, I don't know if Nana still loves Ren. But for me and Yasu-san, it's hard to talk about him in front of Nana. We didn't particularly intend on hiding this story from the rest of you… so you guys too, you don't have to pretend not to know but I'd be happier if you didn't ask her about Ren."

"Okay." Hachi said. Her face showed her conflict clearly. "I understand."

She looked as though she was about ready to leave when she looked at Shion again and something seemed to click. "Shion! You didn't come home last night." she clapped her hands over her mouth. "Don't tell me, you _stayed_ here?!"

"We had a movie night last night, Nana-chan." Nobu said. "Although Shion did fall asleep on me halfway through."

"Sorry." Shion muttered, but he laughed it off.

"It was cute actually - I never thought you were the snoring type."

"I don't snore!" she protested, and he almost choked on his laughter as he gasped in between breaths "You do! You do!" She pushed him away, still smiling and stood up.

"Just for that, I'll leave with Nana-san."

Hachi also stood, looking as though she'd witnessed something truly scandalous. "I've got to get back to work. Are you going home?"

"Yeah." she said. "Is Nana home?"

"Maybe. I'm making dinner tonight to make it up to her. I was really rude to Misato-chan and Nana got upset with me. I apologised to her too," Hachi added quickly. "That was how I found out about Ren. I promised I'd tell her about your future live shows."

The two girls bid Shin and Nobu good-bye, and once they'd walked to the end of the street, Hachi and Shion split up. "See you tonight, Shion-chan!"

She nodded. "_Mata ne~_"

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

Hachi was obsessed with the love story of Nana and Ren. Shion knew she was going to struggle keeping the story Nobu had to them to herself the moment they all sat down for dinner that night. Hachi brought up the matter of the TRAPNEST concert at the end of the month - she had three tickets and had invited Shion and Nana to go with her. Shion had accepted rather eagerly - the concert was in Hachi's hometown which meant she'd get to meet Hachi's family. Nana had been more reluctant about it, stating she'd go if she was in the mood.

Except when Hachi brought up the matter at dinner, Nana agreed to go. It rendered Hachi speechless.

Almost.

Hachi's hometown was an average-sized town in the country, surrounded by mountains just as she had described it. The moment the three of them stepped off the train, a large woman began to wave at them madly. She had the same lovable enthusiasm as Hachi but looked slightly older. It had to be her older sister.

"Thanks for having the disdain to pick us up." Nana said. _Disdain?_ But Hachi's sister paid no attention to the strange choice of word.

"It's nothing! I'm not working so I had time. Here, when we don't have a car, it's difficult to get from place to place."

Hachi leaned forward. "By the way, could you drive us to the concert?"

Her sister nodded. "That's fine. Where is it?"

"Idea Concert Hall. We'd like to be there around 6 so we'll have to leave at 5:30." Hachi's smile brightened tenfold when her sister agreed to the plan. "Yay! Thank you~ I love you Nao-_nee_~!"

"_Hai, hai._ No need to flatter me."

A few moments later Hachi had her hands pressed up against the window. "Look Nana! Shion! This is the school I went to. Those were the good, old times~"

"The good old times?" Nao-san laughed. "You were only here a year ago, Nana!"

"Oh yeah." Hachi said. "It just feels like it was ten years ago."

"You went to an art school?" Shion asked. "Did you enjoy it?"

"Yeah! I realised early on I wasn't skilled at art - but I enjoyed every day and it was really great with Junko and Kyousuke and-" Her eyes went glassy. "We were always together." Shion didn't need to be a genius to know that coming back to her hometown must have triggered many memories about Shouji.

"By the way Nana," Nao-san said. "Nami says you're living with your boyfriend. Is that true? It's that guy, right? The one who always came over to our house when you were at that art school. Shouji…?"

"No!" Hachi said, no doubt reluctant to explain the story of her break up again.

Instead, Nana helped her out. "There was a misunderstanding," she said smoothly. "Since Shion and I are Hachi's flatmates."

"Oh? Really?!"

"If you want, come over to our apartment." Nana said. "Then you'll understand."

Nao-san seemed embarrassed. "That Nami! She's talking nonsense again. What a troublemaker."

Hachi had disappeared into her own world again. Shion reached out and held her hand. No matter what, Hachi had been kind and gentle with her ever since they'd met. It had helped Shion tremendously and now she wanted to be the one to support Hachi.

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

Shion and Nana were met with a warm welcome once they arrived at Hachi's family home. Her mother was a firm, but warm woman and it became clear that Hachi's kindness had come from being raised in a home full of love. Shion couldn't help but feel bittersweet when she quietly bowed her head and introduced herself.

"She's so cute!" A girl with heavily tanned skin and heavy makeup - a gyaru - squealed in delight. "Can we trade Nana for her?"

"Nami!" her mother scolded. Shion stifled a giggle. Whether or not this was her family, she felt immediately at home. She couldn't help but wonder what her own mother would have been like - how different would her life be if she had lived? If her father had never remarried would he still have gone to America by himself? She was still thinking about it when Hachi showed them upstairs to her bedroom they would be sharing.

"I'm sorry we're such a noisy family." Hachi said.

Nana shook her head. "It's great! Natsuko's even better than I thought. I'm touched."

"Greater? She's a normal woman."

"No, it's hard to become like her. She's an ideal mother." Nana said, lighting up a cigarette.

"I thought the same." Shion murmurmed. The two girls looked at her and she met Nana's eyes. Ever since they met, she and Nana had shared a quiet understanding of each other. It was what put her at ease when they were together.

"You've never mentioned your real mother, Shion-chan." Hachi said. "What was she like?"

"I don't know. She died when I was born." Shion said.

"You said at practice that playing classical music made you feel connected to her." Nana said.

"She played the violin. She was actually a professional. I began playing because I wanted to feel closer to her, and that was when I started aiming to enter the music university she'd graduated from."

"You never did tell us why you started working after high school rather than go to that university." Hachi said. "Even when Nana asked you to join the band, you had your heart set on playing classical violin, didn't you?"

"I… couldn't afford it." Shion said, looking away.

"But I thought your mother was a professional! She didn't leave you any money after she died?"

Nana now shot her a warning look. "Hachiko."

"I just don't understand." Hachi sighed.

"It was my stepmother." Shion said. "She… she convinced my father that it would be a waste of money sending me to study music. I was told that moving out would be good for me… and that's how I came to move in with you guys. They used my university fund to move to America."

"America?!" Her two friends stared at her in total disbelief.

"I thought you went to a family dinner last month?" Hachi said.

"That was when they told me they were moving."

"But you've got other family in Japan, don't you?" Hachi said. "Grandparents or something?"

"My father's parents died when I was small and he was an only child. My mother's parents disowned her when she decided to play violin."

Before she could say anything else, Hachi had smothered her in a hug, blubbering nonsense until she managed to take deep breaths. "We'll be your family instead! You'd be such a nice younger sister - I'd trade Nami for you anyday!"

The hug took her off guard and she was touched, "Thank you, Nana-san."

Shion looked to Nana who watched the scene fondly. "What was your mother like, Nana?"

"I don't know." she said. "I can't really remember her."

"What's this?" Hachi said playfully, "It hasn't even been six months since you left home."

"No, it's because I haven't seen her since I was four." Nana said. "She found another guy and started over. Maybe she's dying somewhere." The comment rendered Hachi speechless.

"Did you live with your father?" Shion asked.

"Did you have siblings?" Hachi wanted to know.

"No." Nana said. "I never knew my father. I was left to my grandmother, but she died when I was 15. That's why it makes me dream a bit, Hachiko. The atmosphere of an animated family like yours - since I've never known that, it amuses me."

Hachi's tears were flowing again already.

"Ah, sorry." Nana said quickly. "Sorry to have said such things."

"No." Hachi sniffled. "It's just I was a bit surprised. Sorry I asked these questions without much thinking. But I'm glad. Up till now you hadn't told me anything about you. I was wondering why. I found that so sad. I'm glad you're telling me this. That you both told me your stories."

"I see. I'm sorry." Nana said. "The thought you could feel this way didn't even cross my mind because up until now I've never had a girl friend. I always have a hard time trying to figure out how to act and I hate talking about myself or talking first so there are plenty of things I haven't been able to tell you."

The two of them shared a moment. "But if you ask me, I'll tell you anything you want. All right? Don't be sad." Hachi began to giggle, and the giggle turned into laughter. It was so contagious that even Shion had to stifle a laugh.

"What's so funny?" Nana barked.

"It's just that," Hachi gasped for air. "Why do you always act like a guy? You seem more like a boyfriend than a friend! My heart beat so fast!"

Shion saw Nana blush. "Argh, it's embarrassing if I made your heart beat."

"You'll really tell me anything I want?" Hachi would have wagged her tail if she had one.

"Yeah."

"You're not kidding?!"

"I'm not."

"Do you still love Ren?" _Well so much for keeping quiet about it. _Shion wondered how bad Nobu would freak out if he could be here now.

"So you knew." Nana said. Her eyes flickered over to Shion. "Did you know too?" She nodded.

"I'm sorry for pretending I didn't know." Hachi said.

"You brought me here because you knew." Nana said, and the smile that followed was illuminous. "Thank you."

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•


	13. rivals

Hachi's sister drove them to the concert hall by 6pm, just as they had planned. They arrived to find the hall already swarming with TRAPNEST fans. Hachi made a beeline for the merchandise booth, before looking back at Nana and Shion.

"I'd like to buy brochures and other things," she said. "How about you two?"

Nana shook her head. "I'll go sit after I'm done with my cigarette." she said. "You can show me your brochure later."

"I don't want anything, but I'll stay with you Ha- Nana-san." Shion said. It seemed to distract Hachi from Nana's decision. Hachi cast one more look at Nana, her face full of sympathy before Nana disappeared. They began their wait in line, and the constant chatter and excited squeals began to chip away at Shion's mind. She was sure if this kept up, there was no way she'd also be able to sit through a concert that was going to be ten times louder than this. Luckily, they were now next in line and Hachi bought the things she wanted with no time wasted.

"Shall we go and find our seats?" Hachi said, clutching her brochure.

"Yes please." Shion said, relieved.

Their tickets were for the front row - something that Hachi had been ecstatic about ever since she'd come back to her hometown. Shion, who had never been to a concert before aside from the live show she had performed at, didn't have another experience to compare it to, but nevertheless she was glad she wasn't surrounded by rabid fans. At least being in the front meant she didn't feel as trapped.

"How much do you know about TRAPNEST, Shion-chan?" Hachi asked her. "You don't listen to their music, do you?"

"Not really." she replied. "But they're pretty popular at the record shop I work at so we get asked about their band a lot. I had to educate myself on them pretty early on." She looked at Hachi's brochure, which helpfully had a picture of the band on the front.

"Serizawa Reira is the lead singer. Her voice is beautiful." Shion said. "Fujieda Naoki is their drummer. Ichinose Takumi is the bassist, and Honjo Ren is their guitarist."

"Takumi is my favourite!" Hachi said. "He's so cool!" She spent the next twenty minutes describing how she hoped that she would be able to meet him through Nana's connection to Ren, and then she and Takumi would fall in love.

"He's kind of scary-looking." Shion said when she had finished. Takumi's face was twisted in a scowl and it didn't completely look like it was just for the photo.

"But he has this mysterious aura to him~" Hachi sighed happily. "I'm sure he's very kind."

The lights of the hall dimmed, signalling that it was almost time to start. Nana still hadn't joined them.

"She's going to miss the start." Hachi said, downcast. "Where are you Nana?" The chatter in the hall faded to silence, and everyone in the room was focused on the stage. Any second now.

The stage lights flashed on, and they heard footsteps. Hachi was still frantically looking around for Nana, and then, just as they saw their missing friend slip into her seat, Honjo Ren walked out on stage.

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

The noise began to get to Shion forty-five minutes into the concert. She quietly slipped out of the hall without Hachi or Nana noticing and found a seat out in the lobby. It was far quieter now that only the staff were out there, restocking the merchandise for after the concert. According to Hachi, the concert was about two hours, which meant she could have a fifteen minute break and then go back in for another hour.

_Or I could just stay here until it finishes._ Her head was pounding. The only rock music she'd listened to before was BLAST. She'd spent years training to be a classical violinist and that meant she had only ever found it necessary to listen to classical music for leisure. Now, here she was - completely out of her depth - with the goal of becoming a worthy rival of the very band she had come here to see. She wondered if it was something she would be able to see through to the end. She cared about the music BLAST made - of course she did. But she would be lying if she said the music was why she had decided to join the band.

"I need some fresh air." she muttered, heading for the door. The sun was beginning to set now, and the evening air was warm. Summer would soon be arriving. She didn't know how long she stood outside, but when she finally returned to her seat in the concert hall, the sun had almost set.

"Shion-chan!" Hachi looked relieved to see her. "You missed so much! This is the encore." Shion bowed her head in apology. TRAPNEST were playing one of their quieter songs - the same one that customer had asked to find on the first day of her job.

_Travel to the moon_

_Kimi wa nemuri, yume wo toku_

**While you sleep, a dream untangles. **

_Dare mo inai, hoshi no hikari_

**There's no one else here, while we play with the starlight **

_Ayatsuri nagara _

**There's no one else here, while we play with the starlight **

_Tsuyoku naru tame,_

**The two of us together can definitely get back **

_Wasureta egao_

_Kitto futari nara, torimodosu_

**the smile we forgot and become strong again.**

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

They joined Hachi's family for dinner when they returned home and afterwards retired for the night. Nana was still in the shower when Hachi checked her phone so she showed it to Shion instead when she saw the text. "Look at this, Shion-chan! What will I do?!"

_Ren may call your cell phone. I'm counting on you. _

_Yasu._

"That's… surprising." Shion said.

"What if he's already tried to call~~!?" the other girl panicked. "I need to tell Nana!" Without another word she left the room. _Ren might try to contact Nana? I wonder what she'll do._

As is so happened, Nana was not content to wait for Ren to call her. After getting a full explanation from Yasu, which only seemed to make her more aggravated, Nana used Hachi's phone to call Ren, making plans to meet him at his hotel. She left abruptly, and it was another hour before Hachi would calm down enough to go to bed.

"I wonder how it's going." she said. "Do you think she'll come back tonight?"

"I don't know." Shion said.

The two of them bid each other good-night. Shion woke up to the sound of the bedroom door opening just as sunlight began streaming in through the curtains. There, Nana stood. She pressed a finger to her lips when she noticed Shion was awake, and tiptoed to her futon. Shion let sleep take her again, knowing that Hachi would ask enough questions for both of them in the morning.

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

Nana didn't answer any questions until after breakfast.

"Hey Hachiko." she began. "I have something to ask you."

"Of course! What is it?"

"If you do what I ask, I'll get you a treat." Nana said. "What do you want?"

"Takumi's autograph." Hachi said, without missing a beat. Even Shion raised an eyebrow at that.

"No problem." Nana said. "I'll ask Ren for you."

Shion covered her ears as Hachi squealed in delight. Her love for Takumi really knew no bounds.

"You're that happy over a single autograph?" Nana said.

"It's not that!" Hachi said, tears in her eyes. "It went back to normal between you and Ren, right?"

"Well… not really like before." Nana said, her face getting a little red. "You see, we don't have a telephone here, even if I intend on buying a cell phone soon. Until then, if anything pops up, Ren will call your phone instead."

"So all I have to do is receive the calls and tell you?" Hachi asked.

Nana nodded. "Exactly. Ren gave me his cell phone address so send him yours, okay?"

"That's great for you, _ne _Nana?"

"Of course not!" Nana fired back, blushing. "I wanted to make things clear… that I intended on ending all of this. Why am I letting myself do things like this….? I'm not handling it at all."

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

The train took them back to Tokyo that evening. Before they left, Shion had sent a text to Nobu on a whim, wondering what he had been up to.

_"Nothing much." he had replied. "Just mahjong with the other two. Shin's kicking our ass. How was the concert?"_

_ "Loud." she said. "I'm glad we're coming back this evening."_

She had expected that would be the end of it, but there was a surprise waiting for them outside their apartment.

"Nobu? Shin?" Nana said. "What're you doing here?"

"Shion told me when you were coming back." Nobu said. "So we came to hang out."

"Well you can go home." Nana said flatly. "I'm too tired to entertain you."

"Nana!" Clearly he hadn't been expecting that reaction. "We even brought beer."

For a moment Nana smiled. "Hachiko can you grab that?"

Hachi took the shopping bag from Shin and then Nana continued. "Thanks for the beer. Now go home." Nobu must have seen there was no negotiating this time so he just pouted.

"Fine. We'll go. I guess we'll see you at band practice tomorrow anyway." He was about to turn around when he remembered something. "Oh and Shion." he pulled out a magazine from the shopping bag Hachi was still carrying and handed it to her. "There was a segment in here about violins I thought you might be interested in."

On the front of the cover was a man holding a strange looking violin. On the front of the cover it read: _The Rise of Electric Violins._ She clutched the magazine to her chest. "Thank you, Nobu."

"N-no problem. See you all tomorrow then."

Inside, Hachi got to work making them something to eat, and Nana sat at her usual spot at the table, smoking. Shion joined her, turning to the article in the magazine about electric violins.

_The popularity of electric violins in Japan has been increasing over the past twenty years, since Western music began to incorporate its unique sound into the industry. Most notably, the Western artist Frank Zappa hired two electric violinists in the 1970s as part of one of his albums. In 1975, Zappa released an entire album that included rock violin. _

_While that popularity is not as widespread across Japan just yet, there has been an increase of electric violin sales across the country. It might seem as though these electric violinists do not belong to any notable bands in the country, but it seems likely that will change over the next couple of years as more bands rise to fame._

_There are many advantages to using an electric violin over an acoustic violin if it is meant for playing non-classical music. _

_Electric violins offer far more freedom when performing, as the violinist does not need to worry about trying to get the sound picked up by an external instrument microphone. Instead, the violin plugs in to an amp, and the violinist is free to focus on their playing. It also eliminates the chance of producing unpleasant feedback, which is never nice to listen to when you're attending a concert. The technical improvements are only the beginning. Electric violins can use a large variety of effects that offer more sound diversity and nuance to anything you play._

Shion stopped reading, her mind reeling. She had no idea that electric violins even existed. She flipped the magazine shut and stared at the cover, back at the man who was playing the strangest violin she had ever seen. It wasn't even shaped like a regular violin - rather, it looked like a guitar! Underneath the article itself were quote prices of electric violins, ranging from budget violins for beginners, to more expensive violins for professionals. The article made a lot of sense. Back when she'd performed with BLAST at the punk night show, she'd felt a lot of pressure to stay close to the instrument microphone. Not only that, but she was terrified that Augustine - her mother's expensive violin - would get damaged if she continued to play at such rowdy venues. That was the last thing she wanted to happen. That being said, Augustine was a violin made for professional playing, and her tone was excellent. If Shion was going to swap her for an electric violin, she'd need a good quality one - and those weren't cheap. Her eyes flicked over the violin that was 'for professionals' and her jaw dropped. It was almost 650,000 yen! That definitely wasn't going to happen!

"Good read?" Nana said. Shion looked up to see her friend was watching her with an amused expression.

"Yes." she said. "I'm just… working something out." The mid-range electric violins were slightly cheaper, but where on earth would she get 330,000 yen?! She only just got by on rent with the job she had. If she wanted any hope of getting that kind of money, she'd need to get another job - and a well paying one.

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

After she finished work at the record shop the next day, she decided to take a look in the music shop across the road, hoping she might find they sold electric violins. Nobu didn't have work that day so she was on her own until band practice that evening. When she asked the shop's attendant about it, he redirected her to another shop twenty minutes away that had just created an entire exhibit devoted to electric violins of all sorts. She sent a text to Nobu explaining she might be a bit late to practice, and made her way through the city, following the directions she had been given.

She was not disappointed. On display were electric violins of all shapes and colours. The sign in the window invited her to come and try playing one of them. The shop only had a few people milling about, and none of them seemed interested in the violins, something that seemed to be upsetting the manager.

"No other shops in the city have nearly as large a selection of violins as this one," he sulked to who she assumed was an employee. "So why is no one interested?"

"Violin isn't a very popular choice of instrument in modern music, boss." The employee was busy restringing an acoustic guitar, but turned around to tend the counter when he heard Shion enter the shop. He eyed her violin case on her back. "Although, maybe your luck is just about to turn around." He nodded at her and the manager's eyes widened in delight.

"Are you perhaps looking for an electric violin, dear customer?"

"Um, yes?" she said. "Although I'm just looking. I don't have the money yet."

"That's no problem at all!" The manager sprung to life, ushering her towards the back of the shop. He selected an electric violin and got to work plugging it into a small amp. When he was finished he offered the instrument to her. Unlike the violin she had seen on the front cover of the magazine, this one was more simplistic. It was glossy black, and didn't resemble a violin at all. There were no curves - in fact, it looked more like an octagon that had been stretched out. It glimmered dangerously under the lights and she found herself taking it from the manager.

"I'm sure you're a very talented player." The manager enthused. "Give it a try! Oh, but you'll need to use your own bow. You probably already know how much rosin it takes to get a new one ready to use."

She felt a bit embarrassed but she did as she was told, getting her bow out of her violin case and resting the new violin on her shoulder. The new shape felt strange, but she was sure it was something she could get used to with time. Now it was time to play.

She chose _rose_, the first song by BLAST she had ever heard. As she played, she got used to the amp beside her, projecting her sound loudly throughout the shop. The manager must have already set up an effect because she sounded distorted - it was exactly the sort of nuance that would make her playing for BLAST better. The manager burst into applause when she played the final note.

"You were exactly the sort of person I was hoping to attract here!" he said. "Do you play in a band?"

She nodded. "BLAST." It didn't surprise her that the name didn't seem to ring a bell. "We've just started playing in Tokyo, but the plan is to rival TRAPNEST."

He beamed at her. "That's the spirit."

She handed the violin back to him. "I really enjoyed playing it. How much is this one?"

The manager didn't blink. "350,000 yen. But," he added. "I'll give you a discount if you play outside the shop a few times a week after you've bought it. Having an actual violinist outside might persuade people to have a look." He wanted her to busk? It was a mildly uncomfortable idea, but if it gave her a discount…

"How much is the discount?" she asked.

"We could make it… how about 20,000 yen?"

She stared at him. "Seriously? 20,000 yen?"

"20,000 yen."

She smiled at him shyly. "I suppose I'd better get another job."

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•


	14. starstruck

Shion went to practice at her usual time, ready to have an hour of solo practice before everyone else arrived. She was going over the more complicated parts of some of the newer songs Nobu had helped her write when Shin showed up ten minutes early. She recalled how he'd said the pay from his job was good - maybe he knew about other jobs that paid well that were more suited for her. It wouldn't hurt to ask - she knew Shin wouldn't tell anyone.

"A job" he said. "Well, one of my clients works as a hostess. Apparently the club is pretty new and the manager wants it to be a classy establishment so she's looking for classical instrumentalists to play on rotation every night."

"A hostess club?" That definitely wasn't her scene, but at least it was a job - and one where she could play classical music. She tried not to think about the details too much. "Does it pay well?"

"Who knows?" Shin said. "If you're interested I can take you there after practice. I'm heading that way anyway."

She thanked him and resumed her practice while he took a seat. Later when everyone else had arrived, Nana made an announcement, much to Shin and Yasu's dismay. There would be a smoking ban put into place so she could focus on improving her vocals.

"It's to improve my breathing abilities." she said.

"Hearing Reira sing live impressed you that much?" Yasu said.

"She's got nothing to do with it!" Nana shot back. "I'll beat you up, idiot!"

Nobu approached Shion after they'd finished. "I can walk back with you three." She smiled apologetically.

"Sorry, Nobu. I've got things to do with Shin tonight."

He was surprised. "With Shin?" he raised his eyebrow at the boy in question. "You haven't got her involved in anything dodgy, have you?"

"Dodgy? Like what?" Shin said innocently. "We're just going to hang out at a place I found downtown."

"Then I'll tag along." Nobu said.

"No!" Shion said quickly. "Uh, weren't you going to walk with Nana and Hachi?"

"Nobu's walking us home?" Hachi said, her hand on the door. "We'd better hurry Nobu! Nana's waiting outside."

"But…! I… what about… okay." he spared one more glance at the pair of them. "Make sure you walk her home Shin. It's not safe for a girl to be by herself this time of night."

"_Hai, hai._" Shin swung his bass guitar case over his shoulder. "We're leaving now."

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

The manager (Mama-san) of La Priorité studied Shion with sharp eyes.

"It is true that I want classical musicians. I'll have to ask that you show me your capabilities." She eyed Shion's violin case that was on the floor next to her chair. "Perhaps you'd like to show me now."

Shion jumped up. "Uh, yes! Of course!" Her hands fumbled to get the case open and she got herself ready. Classical… she had to play something classical. She hadn't practised anything classical since she joined BLAST. Hopefully the practices she'd done by herself before that would pay off. She opted for the song she had worked on the most - Vivaldi's _Winter_. Throughout her performance she could feel the eyes of the manager on her. A few times this caused Shion to mess up her bow strokes and she was forced to add in extra slurs so she was back to where she needed to be. Hopefully it went unnoticed.

It was quiet after she finished, and she didn't dare look at the manager.

"You're a talented little bird." Mama-san said finally. "One of the more talented ones I've seen so far. You're aware that this job requires you to play for 2 hours every night? You'll need to organise yourself for that. I don't mind what you play as long as it's classical - that's a lot of freedom."

Shion nodded. "Yes, ma'am. I'll start on it the moment I get home tonight." She hesitated to ask how much she would be paid, but Mama-san seemed to guess what was on her mind.

"You'll want to know your monthly salary I suppose. You'll be pleased to know that you'll be receiving the same as most of my girls. 200,000 yen a month. Does that work out for you?'

"Ab- Absolutely!" It was better than she'd hoped for! She'd be able to pay off the violin by the end of July. Although, she might have to work out a payment plan with the music shop so she could actually use it at live shows before then.

"You'll start next Saturday then. You'll need at least a week to prepare. You'll take over at 9pm sharp, but I suggest you show up early so we can get you ready.

"Get me ready?"

Mama-san sighed. "Your uniform, my dear. You can't possibly entertain my guests wearing… whatever _that_ is. My girls will make you presentable - you just need to focus on your job."

"Yes, ma'am!"

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

Shin was waiting for her outside.

"How did it go?" he asked.

"I… got the job. And they're paying me a small fortune to play every night for a couple of hours." she told him. "I can't believe my luck. Thank you so much for helping me, Shin."

"You're playing every night?" he said. "Are you sure you can handle that, on top of band practice?"

"The band finishes at 8. And I start at the club at 9. As long as I'm prompt in getting here, it shouldn't be a problem."

"You must want to buy something pretty expensive if you're going to all this trouble." he said. "What is it? Clothes? Jewellery? Men?" Shion smacked his arm for that last one.

"It's for a violin. An electric one. I think it'll suit the band better, but they're not exactly cheap."

"Electric violin? Like the one on the front of that magazine Nobu got you? Hey, did you know he spent ages trying to find a music magazine with something about violins in it?"

"Really? I had no idea."

Shin grinned. "He's got a soft spot for you. It's fun to tease him about it." She poked her tongue out at him and changed the subject, her cheeks warm.

"You said you had something to do around here. Did everything go okay?"

Shin nodded. "Just a client who likes this part of town. She's one of those rich girls who's old money. I think coming to a hotel here makes her more excited when we do it."

"Shin!" But he just laughed.

"I told you. It's fun to tease you. You're older than me but you're so innocent - even more innocent than Hachi."

She crossed her arms, feeling a little put out, but enjoying the friendship behind his words. "You know… I might be really useless at coming up with advice, but if you ever need to talk to someone, I'll always be here. You and Nobu said it before - we're family."

For a moment she thought she saw his expression soften, before he masked it by laughing and giving her a wink. "That's cute, Shion. Thanks."

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

It was almost 10pm by the time Shin had walked her to the apartment building. She'd invited him inside for a drink before he left again, but he shook his head. "I've got a client waiting for me." Bidding him farewell, she climbed the seven flights of stairs on her own and quietly let herself into the flat. It was unlikely that Nana and Hachi had already gone to bed, but making noise made her cringe. It seemed an ironic fear for a musician to have. They were sitting at the table when she entered, and Hachi sprung to life - running to greet her.

"Shion-chan! How did it go~?" There was something weird about her expression.

"How did what go?" she asked, confused.

"Your date~~~~ with Shin-chan!" Hachi sang.

"It wasn't a date!" Shion said. "We were just… we were just hanging out!" She was a terrible liar and she knew the moment she spoke that Hachi wasn't listening. "I don't feel romantic attraction!" She heard Nana sigh in the background.

"I've already tried to explain it to her, Shion. But Hachi is… Hachi."

Hachi pouted. "But it's such a sad thing to believe~ If you don't have someone to love then won't you feel lonely? Romance completes you~"

"It also ruins you." Shion said, her voice colder than she had meant for it to be. "I don't need it to be happy. Even if I did want it, I don't fall in love so I'd just be hurting the person I was with."

"What about Nobu?" Hachi said. "You stayed at his place the other day, didn't you? I bet if you went out with him you'd begin to fall in love!"

It was like talking to a brick wall. Shion should have guessed this was how Hachi would react. Already in the months they had known each other, it had become evident that romance was a large part of who Hachi was. If she couldn't see it from Shion's perspective then they would just have to agree to disagree.

"Nobu's my best friend." she said. "I don't need to date him to feel happy when I'm with him."

"But what if Nobu gets a girlfriend?" Hachi said. "It's bound to happen! Guitarists are really popular. Won't you be lonely when he's spending all his time with his girlfriend, and not with you?"

She had a point. Shion had begun to wonder about that. Nobu didn't seem the type who'd ditch his friends for his girlfriend every chance he got, but it was true that they were so busy with band practice at the moment that if Nobu did start dating someone, the time he would spend together with Shion would decrease dramatically. _Well, it hasn't happened yet,_ she told herself. _So I shouldn't get too hung up on it_.

Nana tried to help her out. "Where did you go with Shin?"

"Oh… I told him I wanted to get another job - to help me be better around people! Yeah, that's right so, um… I got a job as a waitress at this restaurant… somewhere. I needed him to help me get there."

If they knew she was lying, they didn't show it. She didn't want them to know where she was actually working because they'd worry about her. They'd definitely tell Nobu, and he'd tell her not to do it - especially after the incident where she'd been harassed by guys outside the convenience store. What they didn't know wouldn't hurt them.

She excused herself to her room and sat on her bedroom floor, sifting through her sheet music. She had a week to decide what pieces to play and actually begin practising them again. Luckily, she'd committed a lot of it to memory already - enough for her to have halved her workload. She picked her favourites from Bach, Beethoven, Hadyn, Paganini, and of course, Vivaldi. _I'll have to work hard during practice this week but it should all work out. _Tomorrow after work, she would return to the music shop and negotiate a payment plan with the manager. If it went well, she might even be able to take her new electric violin to band practice tomorrow.

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

Shion had to stop herself from grinning like an idiot as she left the music shop - carrying two violin cases instead of one. The manager of the music shop had been ecstatic to see her again so soon, and helpfully set up a plan for her to pay off the violin in smaller installments. She promised that starting next week she would come and play outside his shop for an hour. Her schedule really was starting to look quite full now, but one look at her new electric violin and she knew it would be worth it.

She was itching to use it the moment she arrived at the practice studio, but she needed to use the time she had alone to go over her classical music arrangement. The first ten minutes were painful, as her excitement for her new violin seemed to dull her interest in playing her old one. Once she got into it however, things began to flow smoothly. She was kept busy thinking about intonation, tempo, vibrato, double stops, octaves - the list of techniques she needed to use went on and on. It made playing BLAST music look simple in comparison.

"Playing classical music today, Shion?" Rather than stop in the middle of the phrase like she usually did when someone walked in, Shion smiled but continued to play to the end of the part she was working on. When she finished, Nana gave her a small round of applause.

"You look more serious than normal." The older woman commented.

"I'm just… in the zone." Shion said, putting her violin away in its case. Nana watched her with interest.

"Are you going somewhere?"

Shion stared at her in confusion and then realised what it must have looked like. "Oh! No, I just… take a look at what I bought!" She unzipped the case of her electric violin, and her hands caressed its glossy, black surface. The manager had shown her how to set it up with an amp, and written down instructions just in case she forgot. She borrowed one of the spare amps while Nana watched.

"Is that a violin? _Sugei!_ It looks so different."

"I thought it would be easier to play in a band setting than my acoustic." Shion said. "I read about them in the magazine Nobu got for me." She decided to use her old bow - she would spend ten minutes putting rosin on the new one when she got home. Right now, she just wanted to play.

There was a metallic ring to the notes she played. They sounded crisp - _cool._ She'd bought a pedal that gave her multiple choices for sound effects such as distortion. She played through the chorus of _rose_ and immediately she could hear the difference. Not to mention, she didn't feel so out of place like she had when she'd played her acoustic violin. Now she had an instrument that looked the part.

"That's amazing, Shion! It sounds even better then it did before."

"Huh? Shion's got a new violin?" Nobu entered the room, with Shin and Yasu in tow. "Hey, it's one of those electric ones - like the ones in that magazine!"

Shion beamed at him. "You gave me the idea. Thank you!"

Nobu rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh, no problem."

"You need to let them hear you play with it, Shion." Nana said. "Do what you just did for me." She nodded and repeated the chorus of _rose._ The rest of her bandmates had a similar reaction to Nana.

"You did well finding such an instrument, Shion-chan." Yasu said.

"It was all because of Nobu!" she said. "Truly."  
The young man had gone quite red, but looked pleased. At that moment, Hachi burst in - gasping for air as she delivered her news.

"I've got a text from Ren!" she announced, holding her phone out to Nana. Ren wanted to drop by their apartment a few hours before the mahjong tournament they were going to have at Nobu's place.

"_Of course you can come, my dear._ That's what I replied for you with." Hachi said, squealing happily.

"Don't answer for me!" Nana shot back, going pink.

"Since Ren is dropping by your place, doesn't that mean we can have the mahjong tournament there too?" Nobu said. "My apartment will be too small for all of us."

"I agree!" Hachi said, throwing her hands up in the air.

Nana sighed in defeat. "Alright. But we don't have a mahjong table."

"You could place the cloth on the table." Nobu said.

"The table by the window?" Shin asked. "But if we're sitting side by side then we won't be able to play."

"All we have to do is move it and sit around." Yasu said.

Hachi laughed and clapped her hands together. "I can't wait!"

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

Shion was practising her pieces for the hostess club when Ren arrived. One of the things she had been blown away by was that her electric violin could be plugged into a small amp that connected to her headphones - allowing her to play quietly in her room without disturbing her neighbours. She knew Nana and Hachi wouldn't mind the extra noise; it sounded like a muffled hum. It was amazing really, what one violin could do to help her. She was so absorbed in her practice that she almost didn't hear the knock at her door.

"Shion?" It was Nobu. "Can I come in?"

She put her violin down and opened the door for him. He slipped inside and shut the door behind him. "Hey." she said. "I didn't hear you arrive. Is Ren-san…?"

Nobu nodded. "Ren's here… but he brought someone else from TRAPNEST. Takumi. I thought maybe you were too nervous to come out. I wanted to make sure you were okay."

Behind him she could hear Nana, Shin, and two other unfamiliar voices. So Ren and Takumi really were here. Strangely enough, she didn't feel that nervous about meeting Ren. Maybe because she was surrounded by her friends, and she knew Ren was important to them all. Takumi, on the other hand - she still recalled the scowl on his face on the concert brochure.

_"He's scary-looking." _She'd told Hachi. Hopefully he was actually nice. At least Nobu would be there with her. She smiled gratefully at Nobu. "Thanks Nobu. Can we… go out together?"

"Of course!" He offered her his hand and she took it shyly. The two of them joined the rest of the group. Nana, Shin, and Ren were sitting around the table, which had been moved for mahjong. Shion could feel Shin and Ren staring at their entwined hands until Nobu scooted along the bench so that Shion could sit next to him. Ren was sitting in the chair next to her. It looked like they were all in the middle of a game already. Shion was on high alert, scanning the room for the person she was most worried about. She found Takumi leaning against the kitchen counter watching them over the top of the magazine he was reading. It was unnerving, but she did her best to ignore it.

"Ah! Shion-chan!" Nana beamed at her and shot a look at Ren. He smiled at her.

"You must be the talented violinist Nana's been telling me about. It's nice to meet you, Shion-chan."

She bowed her head. "It's nice to meet you, Ren-san. I've heard a lot about you from Nana too."

Nana gaped at her, blushing. Nobu roared in laughter. "That was smooth, Shion."

The doorbell rang just then. "Maybe that's Hachi." Nobu said, perking up.

"Probably." Shin said.

""Her name is Nana! Not Hachi." Nana told them. Nobu and Shion exchanged looks. _Wasn't she… the one who came up with Hachi as a nickname anyway?_ It was evident Nobu was thinking the same thing and she had to stifle a giggle.

"You can get it." Ren nodded at Takumi and the man put his magazine down and walked to the door.

"Hello, Nana." he said. There was a thud as Hachi dropped her purse in shock, and Shion could just about make out Hachi's quivering form - her hands covering her mouth in disbelief. Takumi turned back to them, chuckling. "I made her cry~! What will I do?" Beside her, Shion felt Nobu stiffen.

The evening had only just begun.

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•


	15. exhaustion

Yasu arrived later on, greeted at the door by Takumi. The latter explained that they had been in the same class in high school. The conversation took a strange turn when it was revealed that Yasu and Reira - TRAPNEST's singer - had dated in the past. This revelation had them all in shock.

"Arghhhhh! I can't believe it!" Nobu said, clutching his head. "Why do Yasu and Ren hide so much from us?! I was left out again."

"It wasn't on purpose." Ren said. "We don't always tell you everything."  
"It was back when Ren and I were in our first band." Yasu told him. "And it ended before you and I even met. I wasn't going to tell you about it."

"You could say Reira gave you a hard time." Takumi said, pretending to wipe away a stray tear. "I can understand why you don't want to talk about it."

"A hard time?" Yasu said,

"Well, yeah. She kept causing trouble." Takumi sipped his beer.

"That's natural, coming from her." Yasu pointed out.

"True."

Nobu seemed surprised. "Reira was that kind of girl?"

"When she wore her uniform in high school she was really pretty." Ren said. "I had my eye on her but Yasu stole her away. I was so mad."

"Oh, _really?_" Nana said beside him.

"How long were you together?" Shin asked. Hachi had begun to pass out plates of salad and they began to tuck in.

"Why would you want to know that?" Yasu said, surprised. "It wasn't that long."

"Yeah, but it still lasted a year." Takumi added.

"No, it was two years." Ren said.

"And you call that 'not long'?!" Nana said.

"Then… why did you..." Shion had to take a breath when all eyes turned to her. It was her first time speaking since introducing herself to Ren. "Why did you break up?"

Yasu sighed, looking at them all tiredly. "I hate being my own lawyer. I don't want to talk about it anymore."

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

The night dragged on and Shion excused herself for a bathroom break, hoping to get a small respite from their party. She was glad her friends were having a good time, but these sorts of things really weren't for her. Not to mention she was feeling particularly uncomfortable being around Takumi. He'd been pushing Yasu all night - it felt like it went beyond teasing between former classmates. She wondered what Takumi's relationship with Reira was. She gave herself a few more minutes to enjoy the solitude before going back out to rejoin everyone. Immediately she noticed that Nobu wasn't there. Neither was Hachi.

The others were still sitting at the table, and she approached Nana while everyone else listened to Ren. "Where's Nobu?" she asked, lowering her voice.

"Oh, I sent him out to go get more beer." Nana said. "Hachi went with him to help with the bags." She watched Shion closely. "You okay? You look a bit jumpy."

Shion blinked. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm gonna get some fresh air for a little bit - maybe go and sit by the river for a little bit."

Her friend looked surprised. "At this time of night?"

"I'll be twenty minutes tops." Shion said. "I promise."

Nana thought about it and then nodded. "Okay. Just do me a favour and take your phone with you. Call Yasu if something happens."

"Okay." It felt like a bit of an overreaction, considering she'd be within throwing distance of their window, but Nana's concern for her warmed her heart. "See you later."

She found a spot on the grass by the river. The only light was the streetlamp nearby and the grassy slope that led back up to the road was steep enough that passersby wouldn't be able to see her laying down, staring up at the quarter moon. She hadn't bothered bringing a jacket with her and the grass was cool against her skin. It had to be past midnight by now, and the night was silent. She closed her eyes, listening to the lull of the water below. Why had she run out here in the first place? Of course, she already knew the answer.

It was Nobu. The way he had disappeared with Hachi made her feel uneasy. It made her think about what Hachi had said to her last week.

_"But what if Nobu gets a girlfriend?" Hachi said. "It's bound to happen! Guitarists are really popular. Won't you be lonely when he's spending all his time with his girlfriend, and not with you?"_

Originally she hadn't let herself think about the hypothetical situation too much - she just wanted to enjoy the moments she got with Nobu at present. But tonight had really hit it home how much she relied on him when she was hesitant. He always gave her that little extra push that let her go far. She was grateful for his support - truly - but it unnerved a bit to think about how much she had come to depend on him. If he were to drop off the face of the planet tomorrow - there was a pit forming at the bottom of Shion's stomach that got bigger the more she thought about it. She couldn't figure out if it was jealousy or anxiety, or perhaps a mix of both. The best thing to do would be to discuss it with him, but wouldn't that be weird for her to do? Did friends usually discuss how to make their relationship work even when one of them began dating?

She gazed up at the sky, losing track of time so that she might calm down. She heard laughing in the distance and she recognised the voices as Nobu and Hachi. Their chatter died down and for a moment Shion thought they'd already gone inside the building. But then Hachi spoke up.

"Do you have a girlfriend, Nobu?"

"No, I don't." Nobu said. "I'm recruiting characters in close proximity!"

"What about Shion-chan?" Hachi said. Shion froze. _Not here! Not now! Why did you have to ask that?!_

"Shion?" Nobu said, like he was mulling the idea over in his head. "It's true I really like her, but I don't know if those feelings are more romantic or platonic. It becomes a bit of a mess when I think about it, so I don't - plus I don't want to freak her out by talking about it. It's not like I'm in any hurry to date someone."

"Oh." Hachi sounded almost disappointed. Shion listened as their footsteps faded away and she heard them enter the building, her heart pounding beneath the palm of her hand. She never would have guessed in a million years that Nobu had thought that hard about their friendship - and whether or not it was indeed friendship. The night air was supposed to be cold, but her entire body was burning.

It took her a lot longer than twenty minutes to compose herself and head back inside.

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

"Shion?!" Nobu looked relieved - and slightly drunk. "Nana told me you went outside for some air - I was getting worried."

She gave him a small smile. "Just needed to clear my head." Everyone was still sitting around the table playing mahjong, but Takumi was noticeably absent. Had he left ahead of Ren?

Hachi began to clear up the dishes, and Shion dried them as she washed.

"Nobu's a pretty interesting guy." Hachi commented.

Shion ignored that same dark feeling in her stomach. "How was your walk to the shop?"

"It was nice! He cheered me up quite a bit - did you know he's a romantic at heart?"

The sinking feeling wasn't going away. "I had no idea." She bit her lip as she finished drying the last plate, stacking it in the cupboard. "I think I'm gonna turn in. I'm pretty tired."

"Already?" Hachi said, her eyes searching Shion. "Are you feeling alright?"

_More like, it's almost 2am._ Shion thought to herself, stifling a yawn. "I'm fine. Are the others going to stay the night or go home - I have a futon in my room I can bring out."  
"Nana will probably kick them out." Hachi said. "Don't worry about it, Shion-chan. Get some good sleep, _ne?_"

Shion said goodnight to the rest of her friends and retired for the night. Tomorrow she had her regular job at the record shop, band practice, and afterwards she would also be starting her first day at La Priorité. Her music was ready and she had practised every day. Hopefully it was enough.

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

One of the disadvantages to having band practice and her work at the club had already begun to emerge. The questions. Now that she had an electric violin that was more appropriate for playing rock music, in theory she had no reason to be bringing her acoustic violin anymore, which was the violin she needed for later on that night. Not to mention she had told Hachi and Nana she had gotten a job at a restaurant - she couldn't exactly ask them to take one violin home for her and not the other. So instead she found herself awkwardly carrying both cases into the hostess club that evening, arriving half an hour early just as her new boss - Mama-san - had asked.

She was handed over to two hostesses who looked to be in their mid-twenties. They smiled kindly at Shion and introduced themselves as Akari and Natsumi. It felt uncomfortable immediately calling them by a first name, even though she knew it wasn't their real one. Hostesses usually chose stage names, after all. The two women brought her to a dressing room and went about getting her something to wear. They chatted with each other over specific colours, eventually settling on a beautiful plum coloured dress with white strappy sandals. Natsumi brushed through her short hair while Akari applied some light makeup.

"Mama-san is looking forward to hearing you play, Shion-chan/" Natsumi said. "You must've impressed her."

"That's not true." Shion said. "I don't think I did particularly well. I messed up a lot."

"There's no need to be so modest." Akari said. "Mama-san has you playing during our busiest part of the night. She wouldn't do that if she didn't think you were talented." Shion knew they were just trying to be nice but all she could hear was the phrase _busiest part of the night_ and the butterflies in her tummy were set loose.

_If I can play at a live show, I can play here. Classical music is part of who I am. I can do this._

Her self-encouragement did very little to improve her nerves. How on earth was she supposed to do this every night of the week?

"All done!" Akari and Natsumi gestured for her to look in the mirror. It took her off guard when she saw the reflection that awaited her. Akari had put eyeshadow and a light layer of mascara on her, with a smudge of lipgloss. When coupled with her hair, she had a completely different look to her. IThe bangs that usually covered one of her eyes were now pinned to the side. If she were to smile, she would look worlds away from the quiet violin geek that she was when she'd walked in here.

"Ready to go out?" Natsumi asked her. She took her a deep breath and nodded.

"I'm ready."

The stage she was to perform on was fairly small, with just enough room for a grand piano and another musician to be up there at the same time.. Positioned around the room were loveseats and coffee tables for the hostesses and their customers. Clearly the idea in this club was to enjoy charming company whilst listening to classical music to help them relax. She saw Mama-san out of the corner of her eye watching her. No pressure then.

Ignoring the crowd, she stared at one of the empty loveseats that was facing her. She imagined Nobu and the rest of her friends sitting there, watching her perform. It filled her with courage, and with her hesitation temporarily quashed, she began to play.

Her first song was Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata. She didn't want to jump into playing something obnoxiously loud, so she had opted for a slower piece. As the minutes went by, her body was lulled into a state of relaxation - it almost felt like she was meditating. When she finished her first song, she heard polite applause coming from some of the tables. Off to the side, Shion could see Mama-san nod in approval at her.

Other notable pieces she played included Vivaldi's _Spring, Summer, Autumn, _and_ Winter_; Ave Maria; Tchaikovsky's _Waltz of the Flowers_ and _Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy; _Offenbach's _Can-Can_; and Taki Rentarou's _Koujou no Tsuki_. She was beginning to feel the effects of playing almost continuously for 2 hours by the time it came to play her final song - which was also the most challenging one she had planned to play.

Paganini's _Caprice no.24._

She bowed when she was finished, and to her great surprise the room burst into applause. It was so abrupt that Shion almost tripped over as she stepped off stage. While most of the customers in the room soon turned their attention back to their hostess, she could feel the eyes of others still trained on her until she disappeared back into the dressing room. She washed the makeup from her face, still reeling from her performance and stripped off her dress; hanging it back up ready for tomorrow, when she would have to do it all over again. Already her legs hurt from standing for so long, and her shoulders ached. Holding a violin was an awkward position to be in at the best of times, yet alone when it was for hours on end. She'd need to make sure she started stretching properly before she went on stage.

She left the club just as soft piano music echoed through the building.

Back at home, Nana, Ren, Shin, and Nobu were sitting at the table, chatting. Shion was so tired after walking back that she almost didn't notice that Hachi was absent. They stopped to greet her as she came in, unceremoniously falling against the door and sliding to the ground.

"Long day?" Nana said. "You look rough."

"I had no idea you'd gotten another part-time job, Shion." Nobu said, sliding out of his seat so he could help her stand. "Not to mention it's at a restaurant."

She touched his arm briefly. "I had to pay for a new violin somehow." she said with a tired smile. "Sorry, I really need to go to bed. I'm exhausted."

"Fair enough." he said. "Good night."

"Good night."

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

For the next three weeks, Shion fell into the daily grind of her new schedule. In the morning she would get up and head to the record shop for her shift. When she finished at 3pm she would have just enough time to get something to eat before she made her way to the music shop she had bought her violin at, for an hour of busking as she had promised. She played BLAST's songs, figuring that it might attract new fans to their music. She would head home immediately afterwards and plug her headphones into her electric violin - ready to go over the songs she needed to play at La Priorité later that night. Then when it was time for band practice she would take both her violins and head down to the studio - usually with Nana if she was still around by the time Shion left. With her job at La Priorité not finishing until 11pm every night, she was managing to get home at almost midnight.

Her schedule was crammed with commitments she had made, and her social life had taken the fall for it. She only ever saw Nobu at work or band practice which meant they didn't have the opportunity to talk like they used to or hang out properly. He'd expressed concern that she was overworking herself, but she'd brushed off his concerns. She could handle it.

It wasn't just Nobu she hadn't seen much of. Even though she lived with them, Shion had barely seen Nana or Hachi. Especially Hachi. After she revealed that she lost her job, she would disappear from time to time, sometimes not returning until the next morning. Maybe if she wasn't so busy, Shion would have pressed the matter with her roommate. It was frustrating that she didn't have the time to spend with her friends anymore, but until her debt was paid to the music shop, this was how it needed to be.

She wasn't the only one who had begun to notice Hachi's absence.

"Where's Hachi?" Nobu said during practice. "She's not coming again today?"

"I guess not." Shion said.

"You keep mentioning that, Nobu." Shin said smirking.

"Are you in love with her~?" Nana teased.

"Of- of course not!" Nobu blushed. "It's just always better to play in front of an audience!"

Nana sighed. "I wanna do a concert!" she whined into the microphone.

"So why don't we?" Yasu said. "A band contacted me to ask if we'd play with them."  
"Huh? Really" Nobu said.

"The last time we played we were a success, so we've been asked to play again." Yasu told them.

"Let's do it!" Nana said eagerly.

And that was how she'd found herself at another live show, in the last week of June. She was just thankful that it didn't interfere with her work schedule. She would be able to go straight to the hostess club from the concert hall. Nobu squeezed her hand like he had at the first live show before they all went out on stage again, but it felt different this time. As they stood in front of their audience, she could feel him searching for someone in the audience. She watched his face light up with a smile as he spotted Hachi in the front row, cheering for them.

Their performance passed by in a blur, and she didn't get to enjoy it as much as she would have liked - especially since it was the first live performance since buying her new violin. She felt herself getting sluggish in places, and it took all her effort to stay in time with everyone else - the music was just white noise buzzing in her ears, and she could tell her bandmates had noticed too. She had already disappeared backstage and begun packing everything up when her bandmates were still savouring the screams of appreciation and applause from their set. Shion was just about to slip away when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"You're sure in a hurry." Nobu said. Behind him were the rest of the band, and they all had looks of concern etched into their faces.

"Um, yeah." Shion said. "I've got work tonight… at the uh, restaurant."

"Seriously?" Nobu said. "You can't just take the night off? We were gonna go back to your place and celebrate. This was a team effort - we all should be there."

Shion looked apologetic. "Sorry. They'll kill me if I'm not there in half an hour."

"It feels like we've barely seen you for the past month, Shion" Nana said. "You go to work, come to practice and then go back to work again. How well are you sleeping?"

"I'm sleeping fine!" she insisted. "I am completely fine."

"Liar." Shin said. She ignored him.

"It's true you've been looking unwell recently, Shion-chan." Yasu said. "It's important that you look after yourself."

"I _am!_" she said. She checked the time on her phone. 8:10pm. It was time to leave. She grabbed her violin cases, swinging one onto her back, and carrying the other. "I've gotta go. See you later."

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

Her performance at La Priorité that night felt like the longest yet. Tiredness numbed her mind and she opted to play Amazing Grace, rather than risk playing Paganini for her final piece that night. She took her final bow and began walking towards the hallway that led off to the dressing room - except she was stopped by a young man. He looked familiar but she couldn't figure out where she'd seen him before.

"Excuse me." he said. "This may sound strange but… are you the violinist from BLAST?"

"What? Oh, um, yes."

He broke into a smile. "I knew it! I asked Takumi to sneak a photo when he went round your place, but you're so much cuter in person!"

Shion took a step back, wondering if the horror was showing on her face. "My _photo_?" she echoed. "I'm really sorry, but I have no idea who you are."

"Ouch." he said. "I'm Fujieda Naoki. TRAPNEST's drummer."

Ah! That was where she'd seen him before! Even so, she still hadn't forgotten the comment about Takumi taking her photo when she wasn't looking.

"I'm sorry," she said. "But I've got to get going."

"I can give you a lift!" he said. "You must be tired after playing for so long."

She shook her head, refusing the offer. "I'll be okay. I've done this for a while now." Bowing to him politely, she continued her way to the dressing room and got changed out of her dress.

That was when she saw the note on the dressing room table, addressed to her. The first thought that popped into her head was that it was from Naoki - his interference with her had been the only personal interaction she'd had with customers of the establishment. She unfolded the note, fully prepared to throw it out but her heart froze as she read what it said.

_I've come every night since I first saw you play here, Shion-chan. Please meet me outside when you've finished - I have a suite at the hotel across the road. I want to get to know you more, and I want you to know me._

At that moment, Natsumi popped her head in. "You did great today, Shion-chan." She saw Shion staring in horror at the note in her hands and frowned. "Is something wrong?"

Shion quickly stuffed the note into the pocket of her jeans. "No! Nothing at all. I'm good."

Natsumi smiled. "See you tomorrow, yeah?"

Shion nodded, waiting until she was left along to freak out. This note - would it be an exaggeration to say it was written by a stalker? It said he'd come _every night_ since he first heard her play - not to mention he knew her _name_. When she got up on stage, Mama-san didn't introduce her to the crowd. She just got up and played. So either he'd asked someone who worked at the club about her, or he'd found out some other way. And now he was waiting for her outside. The idea of walking home now was terrifying, but she couldn't see any way around it. Calling Nobu or Nana to ask them to get her meant revealing where it was she actually worked, and that was a big no-no. Instead, she tried calling Shin. At least he knew where she was.

The attempt soon failed as she realised his phone was switched off. _What was she going to do?_

"I'll have to just suck it up. He can't bother me if I stick to the main street."

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

"Hey! Hey, Shion-chan! _Babe!_" Her legs wobbled as she kept on walking, ignoring the man who continued to call out to her from behind. Eventually, he caught up with her and she flinched when he put a hand on her arm. "The hotel's on the other side of the road, gorgeous." he said. He had to be in his forties, and he wore a pinstripe suit. She ignored him.

"Don't be like that, Shion-chan! I'm your biggest fan. I don't even come to the club for the hostesses anymore. I come for _you_. I just want to spend some time with you, is that so bad?"

"I'm a musician, mister." she said, suppressing the urge to cry. Her voice was really shaking. "I don't interact with the customers, I just play music for them."

"And I've got a suite in the hotel where we can make our own sweet music." he said, trying to slip his arm around her waist, rather unsuccessfully, due to the violin case on her back.

"Please... leave me alone." she pleaded. "I just... want to go home."

He threw up his hands in surrender. "Fine. I'll take the hint. See you tomorrow, princess." That should have been the end of it. But in her hurry to get home as quickly as possible, she took a shortcut - a shortcut that didn't have hundreds of people walking through it like the main street. In retrospect, it was a stupid thing to do, but she had been in fight or flight mode, and flight had won.

A cold hand clamped around her mouth the moment she slipped into the sidestreet and the violin case she had been holding tumbled to the ground. The second case was yanked off her back and discarded in the same way. She wanted to scream, but it was difficult to even breathe - the hand was tight over her mouth and nose. Just as her lungs were beginning to burn, the hand came off her mouth and her attacker came into view. It was the same man as before - of course it was. Before she had a chance to scream for help, he covered her mouth again - this time with his own.

She struggled against him desperately, but he was much stronger than her, and her body had already been deprived of energy from her countless nights of working. Shion was completely powerless as his tongue violated her mouth, as his lips hungrily devoured her own. It felt surreal, and her cries died in her throat, silent tears running down her cheeks. She felt his hands begin to snake under her shirt when suddenly he was pulled away, and she watched as he was launched across the road, falling backwards and slamming his head into a wall. Another figure came into view and she shied away when they reached for her.

"Leave me alone! _Leave me alone!_"

"Shhhh! Shhhhh! Shion-chan - it's me!" Her legs gave out and her rescuer caught her before she could fall to the ground. The last thing she saw before she passed out was his face.

Fujieda Naoki.

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•


	16. kiss

There was something warm holding her hand. Shion's body had felt like it'd been dragged under a bus; weeks of exhaustion catching up to her at once. The warm force squeezed her hand, and she focused all her efforts on squeezing it back. Beside her there was a small gasp.

"Shion?!" It was Nobu's voice, but it felt so far away. Her head was woozy and she couldn't recall how she had come to be here. She struggled to open her eyes, and she found herself back in her bedroom.

"Shion-chan's awake?" she heard Hachi say. "Thank goodness!" She tried sitting up but Nobu wouldn't let her.

"You need to rest." he told her. "You look awful."

She peered behind him to see all her other bandmates congregated outside her bedroom door. Images of what had happened after she left work came flooding back to her, almost as vivid and explicit as the first time she had experienced them. She rolled over so her back was to them all, burying her face in her pillow so they couldn't see her cry. She felt as though she should have been lucky - it could have gotten much worse if Naoki hadn't helped her - but all she could think about was the stalker's lips pressed up against her own. She felt so violated and uneasy - like the stalker would walk in at any moment to finish what he'd started.  
"Why didn't you tell us you were working at a hostess club?" Nobu asked.

She froze and kept her back to him. "You knew?"

"Naoki told us." It was Nana who spoke. The older woman came in and stood by her bedside. "He dropped you off here a few hours ago after getting the address from Ren."

"Oh." She had to thank him if she ever saw him again, or she'd ask Ren to pass the message along. "I'm sorry I made you all worry. And that I ruined your party."

Nobu gave her a small smile, ruffling her hair. "Idiot. We're just glad you're okay."

After making sure she was okay, Yasu, Shin, and Nobu headed out, per Nana's orders. She wanted to give Shion a chance to fall back asleep. "No practice for the next few days." The lead singer had told them. "I want to give Shion a break, and it wouldn't hurt for the rest of us to have one too."

Hachi said she would make something for Shion to eat before she went back to bed, and got to work in the kitchen, leaving Nana to sit on the edge of the bed, watching over Shion.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

Shion shrugged. "I'm alive."

"You know Hachi and I, we're here for you. You can rely on us." Nana said. "You don't have to sit in here and agonise over what happened by yourself."

"I know." she said. "But I probably will."

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

In the morning when her alarm woke her, she got up and started getting ready for her day, as usual. She was prepared to just forget the night before had ever happened. She _needed_ to forget. Nana stopped her on the way out the door.

"Where do you think you're going?" she said, arms crossed. "You're supposed to be resting."

"I need to do something." Shion said, her voice pleading. "It'll drive me insane sitting in my room - I need something to distract myself with." She felt Nana eye the two violin cases she was carrying. Band practice might have been cancelled but today was one of the days she needed to play outside the music shop.

"You don't need to worry about playing at that club for a while." Nana said. "Shin felt guilty after yesterday so he found someone to fill in for you for two weeks and told your employers what happened after you left last night. Apparently your boss was eager to keep the authorities out of the matter."

Shion could only stare. "What? But, you don't understand - I need to go."  
"To pay off that fancy violin you bought, right?" Nana said. "I did wonder how you managed to get it so quickly." Shin really must have told her everything. Nana sighed. "You bought that violin so the band would sound better - we'll help you pay it off too."

"You can't!" Shion said. "It's too expensive - I can do it! I was only planning on working at the club for two months and then I was going to quit, I swear!"

"That doesn't change the fact that you've been walking home alone, late at night for almost a month and no one but Shin knew where you were."

"Last night was a fluke. It was the first time anyone from the club had even tried to interact with me - usually it's fine." Shion said. "I don't want to be a burden."

"You're not." Nana patted her head. "So just take two weeks off, okay? Let yourself recuperate and then think about it again in two weeks. How about that?"

She could see that there was no point in arguing, so Shion nodded reluctantly. "Fine. But I still need to go to my part-time job at the record shop, and the manager at the music shop I bought my violin at gave me a discount if I played outside his shop."

Nana flashed her a confident smile. "I'll talk to the manager. He's had quite enough of your time. I'll sort it, don't worry."

With all her worries alleviated for the time being, Shion left for work - her back feeling strangely light without a violin case there. The memory of last night still tried to force itself into her brain, so she shoved some earbuds in and listened to music on the bus ride. It was a relief when she finally arrived at the record shop. Nobu was surprised to see her.

"I didn't think you'd be coming in today." he said. "Are you sure you're okay?"

She nodded. "I just… I really need the distraction."

The manager had tasked her with putting up posters in the window advertising TRAPNEST's final concert, which would take place in the city next week. Nana had told them a few weeks ago that Ren had gotten tickets for the entire band to go and scope out the competition, and Nobu had been soaring at the idea he'd be able to see Reira sing live. Shion got to work, and her eyes couldn't help but linger over the picture of the band - specifically, Naoki. He'd really come through for her last night, but she couldn't help but wonder about her interaction with him at the club before that. What was he doing in La Priorité? Why had he approached her? And why had he asked Takumi to take a photo of her when she wasn't looking? She'd conveniently forgotten about the photo after his rescue, but now she wasn't sure if she wasn't to thank him or slap him if she ever saw him again.

She heard a customer enter, but she kept focused on the posters. Nobu was behind the counter, after all. Or perhaps not. She hadn't heard him. Maybe he was helping the manager with something in the back. She quickly made her way to the counter, slapping on her work smile. "_Irrasshaimase!_ How can I help you toda-!" She almost couldn't believe her eyes. It was _him_. The one who had made her feel so disgusted and violated. He was standing in front of her, sporting a black eye and the same pinstripe suit. He offered her a charming smile despite himself.

"Shion-chan. How are you?"

She backed away from the counter, glad that there was something between them this time. "Please, leave."

"Shion-chan…"

"It's Nishimura!" she corrected him, her voice wobbling. "How…? How… did you find out where I work?"

He smiled at her and she felt her stomach slither. "It's one of the many perks of having my own business. I came here to apologise for my actions last night… It was most ungentlemanlike, and I pride myself on being a gentleman."  
"Please… leave!" she begged. "I don't want your apology… I don't want to remember yesterday at all…!"

He nodded and leaned forward on the counter. "I understand but… you see Shion-chan., it's not easy for me to forget about you. You're in my head - I'm addicted to you. But my wife is getting suspicious because I'm coming home late every night after seeing you at the club, and I need to break this off."

"Break… it off?" Shion repeated, not believing what she was hearing. She burned with anger, and it felt like Nana was still there next to her in spirit. Adrenaline gave her a newfound courage. "You stalked me and then _assaulted_ me! There's nothing to break off."

The man ignored her. "I have an arrangement that could work out for us both."

Shion crossed her arms. "The only arrangement I want is the one where you _leave_ _me alone._"

"I know." he said. "But I also know you're only working at that club because you need money. So about this…" he pressed his lips together before continuing. "I'll pay you for a goodbye kiss. Just a kiss, on my honour."

Disgust seeped through her. "What honour? I don't need your money. _Leave._"

"500,000 yen." he said. "500,000 yen for you to meet me out the back of this place and kiss me. You get the money _and_you'll never see me again." _And I'd be able to leave my job at the club_. Wait, she wasn't actually considering this offer, was she? This man had violated her and left her feeling disgusted with herself.

_So why not get revenge?_ A voice inside her whispered.

_You're a nice girl, Shion_. Another voice told her firmly. _You're shy and you fumble with your words and you love your friends. This isn't you_.

_It's not like you're sleeping with him._ The other voice argued. _Take advantage of his obsession with you. Take control, get the money, and then never see him again. It's a win-win._

"Shion!" Nobu had returned from the back. "Sorry about that - Yoshida-san needed help."

The man bowed to them both, winking at Shion before he left. Nobu apparently hadn't noticed. "The display looks great." he said, referring to the posters she had put up. "I seriously can't wait for the concert next week - Ren said we might be able to go to the tour wrap-up party as well. I might get to meet Reira!"

She smiled at him. "That would be awesome. Hey, uh - I'm just gonna go to the bathroom." she headed towards the back. "I'll be just a sec." He nodded.

Rather than going to the bathroom, she slipped out the backdoor that led into the alley behind the shop. Sure enough, the man was there.

"I knew you'd come." He smirked.

She held her hand out. "I want the money first."

He regarded her curiously. "You're not such the timid thing you were before. I'd be insulted if it wasn't so cute to watch." She tried not to convulse at the way he still continued to flirt with her, even now. She recounted the money after he handed it to her and put it in her wallet immediately.

"You must be pretty desperate to spend so much money for a kiss." she said. The man sidled closer towards her, snaking his arm around her waist. It took everything in her not to pull away. His face was uncomfortably close. _It's just a kiss all the time. And I'm getting paid for this. I'll just do a peck and leave - he never specified what the kiss had to be like, after all._

She leaned forward against her better instincts and pecked his lips. She was about to pull away but the man had other ideas. "I want my money's worth." he whispered, sliding his tongue into her mouth. His hands drifted up into her hair, securing her lips against his and he continued to kiss her with a mixture of urgency and desire. Her body was screaming at her to pull away, but her mind had shut down. _This isn't like me_, she thought as she kissed him back. _This isn't like me at all._ But to hell with what she was like. It hadn't done her any good. She'd gotten in debt and worked herself to death because of what she was like. It wasn't kissing someone who had violated her that made her turn a blind eye to her better judgment. It was the fact that it was her - Nishimura Shion, the shy violin nerd - who had made a decision so bold and stupid and completely unlike her usual self, that made her feel powerful.

"Shion?" She broke the kiss off in surprise and turned to see Nobu staring at her, wide-eyed in shock. "What're you…? Who…?"

The man behind her leered at him. "Jealous, pal? She was _sensational_." It happened in a blur. Nobu lunged forward, grabbing the man by the collar before shoving him away. It was an all too familiar scene after last night and Shion wasn't the only one thinking that. Rather than tumbling to the ground like he had last night, the man stayed upright and threw his weight into his punch. There was a sickening thud as his fist came into contact with Nobu's jaw and the young man grunted in pain.

"Nobu! Are you okay?" she rushed to his side. "Can you stand? Let's get you inside."

She glared at the man who had hit her best friend. "I _never_ want to see you again."

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

Yoshida-san dismissed them an hour early so Nobu could go home and put ice on his jaw.

"Take him home for me will you?" he said to Shion. She didn't need to be asked. Nobu was silent as they walked to his flat, and it wasn't until she'd sat him down at his table and gently pressed a makeshift ice pack against his jaw that he spoke.

"Shion." he said quietly. "Who was that?"

All her previous courage had disappeared and she avoided looking at him as she spoke. "He was… the guy."

"The guy?"

"From last night… the guy who forced a kiss on me."

"What?" he said, shocked. "Why was he at the record store?"

"He… found out where I worked."

"He was the guy at the counter!" Nobu realised. "Did he blackmail you to meet him outside?! I should have killed him!"

"No!" she said quickly. "It was… it was my choice." The words felt dirty in her mouth. "He offered me… He gave me…" The hand holding the icepack trembled and he placed his hand over hers to help steady it. "He paid me 500,000 yen… for a kiss. He'd said if I did it he'd leave me alone, and I'd get to quit the job at the club." The reality of what she'd done hit her like a ton of bricks and sobs began to wrack her body. "It was so disgusting… _I'm_ so disgusting… I can't... _believe_… I did that."

She felt warm arms envelope her and she buried her face in his t-shirt as he patted her head to comfort her. "You're not disgusting." he told her firmly. "That guy took advantage of you."

"You… _don't get it…_" she sobbed. "I thought… I was… taking advantage… of _him_." Her babbling soon became incoherent and all she could do was cling to her best friend as though her life depended on it, using his t-shirt as a towel for her tears. He held her through it all, murmuring reassurances under his breath. Eventually, the tears stopped and she was left with a blocked nose. He offered her a box of tissues that was on the table. She cleared her nose, too embarrassed about what she had done to be worried about being self-conscious in front of him. When she had finished she sat in front of him, feeling disgraced.

"All I can think about is the way he touched me." she whispered, mortified. "It was horrible the first time, but at least I know it wasn't my fault. The second time - I don't even have the right to feel upset because it was consensual. Why did I do that? Why did I agree to it? What if there was a small part of me that actually _did_ want to do it? But… I don't… I _never_..." She whimpered when Nobu took her hand in his.

"Look, Shion." Nobu said seriously. "You don't need to feel ashamed. You didn't do anything wrong." She bit her lip, avoiding his gaze. She just wanted this dirty feeling to disappear. Her heart ached with something she hadn't felt in months - loneliness. Nobu was doing his best, but she couldn't ask him to take on this burden with her. Hachi had told her he was a romantic. Regardless of her own view on romance, she didn't want to ruin Nobu's dreams of sweeping a girl off her feet.

She pushed the ice pack back into his hands, which he had discarded when he'd hugged her. "Keep this on your face until the swelling goes down." she told him. "I need to get home."

"Shion…"

She took a deep breath and smiled at him. "I'll be okay. I promise."

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

Due to band practice being cancelled, the members of BLAST met at apartment 707 for a social gathering instead, a day before the TRAPNEST concert. Nobu was the last to arrive.

"Holy hell, what _happened_ to you?" Nana said, eyeing his bruised jaw.

He smiled brightly. "Got in a fight! It makes me look pretty tough, right?"

Hachi fawned over him, gently tracing the bruise. Nobu blushed. "H-Hachi?"

"Does it hurt a lot?" she asked.

He shrugged. "Not really." He sat down at the table and Hachi slid in next to him. Shion had decided to sit in the corner next to Shin instead.

"How did you get into a fight, anyway?" Shin asked him, leaning forward on his elbows.

Nobu grinned. "I was defending a girl!"

"Sounds about right." Nana sighed, rolling her eyes. Nobu poked his tongue out at her.

"Oh yeah, Nobu!" Shin said. "About tomorrow - Yasu-san thinks we should meet there immediately."

"Sounds good." Nobu said.

"I'd heard you guys were going to TRAPNEST's last concert tomorrow." Hachi said. "Are the VIP seats in a special place?"

"Not really." Nobu said. "We'll be in the middle of the balcony. I heard you can see really clearly from there, but we'll be with staff members and journalists so the atmosphere will be moderate."

"Thank goodness." Shion murmured. "The noise last time was too much."

"That's too bad." Hachi said sympathetically.

"Yeah, but we aren't fans." Nobu said. "It's probably better there than stuck in the middle of some crazy fans. You should have asked Ren to get you a seat too, Hachi. There may still be time - do you want me to ask for you?"

Hachi shook her head. "It's okay. I've already gone to their concert, and tomorrow I have lots to do."

Beside her, Shin had gotten into an argument with Nana.

"No!" Nana told him. "You have to write your wish and hang paper on a bamboo branch."

"A wish…" Shin murmured.

"Are you serious?" Nana said. "You didn't know?"  
"Huh?" Nobu said. "What's going on?"

"It's Shin." Nana said. "He said he's never seen Tanabata decorations. He asked me 'what's Tanzaku?'"

"Maybe you didn't celebrate it at home, but in kindergarten." Yasu suggested to Shin. "You would have forgotten, right?"

"I want to write a wish on Tanzaku too~!" Shin whined.

"We have leftover Tanzaku here." Shion told him. Hachi nodded and rushed to her room, returning with small slips of coloured paper and enough pens for everybody. Nobu grabbed one and scribbled something across it passionately.

"Nobu." Nana said. "'Screw TRAPNEST' isn't a wish, it's a resolution."

"True." he said. Shion couldn't stop the laugh that erupted from her, and she met Nobu's eyes for the first time since she'd gone to his flat. He grinned and then pointed at her slip of paper, where she'd written a wish.

"Since mine's so stupid - what did you write?"

She covered her paper, flustered. "It's a secret."

"Hey, I'll write a wish for you Nobu." Shin said. "'Make me taller' signed, Nobu." The rest of them laughed.

"What did I ever do to you?!" Nobu said, enraged. "Anyway, you're shorter than me!"

"But I'm still growing." Shin said. "Soon I'll be taller than you."

They spent a few more minutes writing out wishes.

"There, I've made my choice." Nana said. "_Give us air conditioning soon_."

"_I'd like to get the car I had to sell back_." Nobu read.

"_I'd like a veranda so I can grow flowers._" Hachi said.

_"I want money._" Shin said.

Yasu looked at the five of them. "Can't you write something more poetic?"

"But it's so hot in this apartment!" Nana complained, switching the fan on that was nearby. The air gathered up their Tanzaku and sent it drifting out the open window.

"Ahhhh Nana!" Hachi shrieked. "The Tanzaku are flying away!"

The entire group climbed over the table and benches to see their wishes in every colour floating through the air outside. Nana was the first to laugh, and soon they all joined in; lost in laughter. Somewhere out there were their wishes, and maybe God would make them come true. Shion thought of the wish she had written down and prayed that was the case.

_I want to be with my new family forever._

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•


	17. night out

When the time finally came to go to the TRAPNEST concert, Nana had said she'd be staying home Hachi after all, leaving Shion to go downstairs by herself when Yasu came to pick her up; Shin and Nobu already in the car. She wasn't really in the mood for a concert after all that had happened recently, but Nobu was excited to see Reira perform and at least she'd be able to hang out with her friends for the night.

The process of getting into the venue and finding their seats was the same as when she had gone to the concert in Hachi's hometown. When the lights dimmed, a silence fell over the room and she heard Nobu suck in a breath beside her. When Reira stepped out on stage, his face lit up.

The four of them were in balcony seats which meant it was going to be difficult for her to slip out if the noise got overwhelming again like last time. She was pleasantly surprised to find that with the crazy TRAPNEST fans below them, she could enjoy the music without too much trouble. Before she knew it the lights were on and the fans were filing out of the room again. Huh? It had felt like they'd only be there ten minutes. Had she zoned out that bad?

"Let's go, Shion!" Nobu said. "We have a meet and greet next!"

"Wait… what?" She had never heard that part! "I… I can't!

"I'll be with you." Nobu said. "And there's Yasu and Shin too. You won't be alone - plus you already know Ren!"

He was being unusually hasty in comforting her this time. She blamed it on him wanting to meet Reira. She nodded and followed him and the other two out into the lobby.

"Well, I'm going home." Yasu said.

They looked at him. "You're not coming with us?" Nobu asked. "But we have passes - it's a waste."

"I have to catch up on work." Yasu said.

"Come one!" Nobu said. "You should come for once."

"Sorry." The bald man smiled apologetically. "Say hi to Ren for me."

"What about Reira?" Shin said.

"Tell her 'good work' from me." he said, walking away.

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

Takumi was the one who greeted them when they arrived. He regarded the four of them in surprise.

"Huh? Yasu isn't with you?"

"He went home." Nobu said as Takumi swung his arm around his shoulder. "He has work."

"Aw!" A familiar voice said. Shion looked to see a familiar young man walking towards them and she avoided looking at him directly. "I wanted to see him again!" Naoki's eyes then fell on her. "Shion-chan! Are you feeling okay now? I wish I could have stuck around when I took you home the other day but I had to get back before our manager realised I was gone."  
"This is the girl you helped, Naoki?" When Reira approached them, Nobu squeezed Shion's hand uncomfortably tight. After all of the pining, Nobu was finally standing before his idol. Every member of TRAPNEST was now focused on Shion, thanks to Naoki's comment and her skin prickled as they stared.

Reira studied her with interest and then clapped her hands together. "You're such a cutie!" Her eyes then fell on Shion. "And you're gorgeous! Want to play with _Onee-san_?" she asked him sweetly.

Shion and Nobu were left goggling at her, but Shin took it in his stride.

"If you want to, but I'm expensive." he said, handing her a business card.

"Oh." Reira said, looking at Nobu. His face went red. "That one's pretty cute too. How much?"

"Ren~!" Nobu whined. "Save me!" Ren was far too busy laughing at the situation.

"Maybe I should go home." Nobu sighed. _Please!_ Shion pleaded. _Let's go home!_

"C'mon, don't say that." Ren said. "Party with us! We'll drink until morning." Reira and Shin were already cheering the idea on. Nobu looked at Shion, silently checking the idea with her. She definitely wasn't comfortable with the idea, but she could see how much Nobu wanted to go. Yasu had already left, and she didn't want to walk home on her own at this time of night.

She nodded. "Okay."

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

The hotel TRAPNEST were staying at was hosting the end-of-tour party for the band. Shion was still holding Nobu's hand when they entered with the stars of the party, hoping that maybe she could survive for the night. The party was in full-swing after two hours. Thankfully, Nobu hadn't been anywhere except the bar, downing gin tonics. Shion had sat with him, sipping on a water.

"Are you okay, Nobu?" Shin said, joining them. Reira was with him."You're drinking too much."

"I can't stay sober in this atmosphere!" Nobu said, his face red from drinking.

"What an ingenious guy!" Reira said, before disappearing into the crowd to dance.

Nobu pouted, taking another sip of his drink. "I wonder why Yasu dated that weird woman."

"Weird woman!?" Shin laughed. "What an insult~!"

Shion almost fell off her stool when she saw a shape behind Nobu secure an arm around her friend's neck.

"I can't let you say that Nobu." It was Takumi. "You're talking about our band's princess, here."

"Shion-chan!" Naoki came and took the empty seat beside her. He ordered a drink and then turned to her, his eyes falling on her glass of water.

"You aren't gonna drink anything?" he asked.

She shook her head. "I don't drink. I can't stand the taste."

He grinned and ordered another drink, pushing it towards her when it was ready. She stared at him, confused. "It's coconut liqueur." he told her. "It tastes completely different to normal alcohol - it's really sweet. Just try it."  
She hesitantly brought the glass to her lips, taking a tentative sip. The liquid was sweet. Naoki was right - it didn't have the bitter alcohol aftertaste that she disliked at all. After a few more bigger sips, she felt her nerves relax a bit. "It's nice.' she said. "Also…"

He tilted his head curiously. "Also…?"

"Thank you for helping me the other day." she said. "It really helped me out."

"That guy was a creep." he said. "I wish I'd gotten there sooner."  
"Me too." she said, and then she realised what she'd said. "I'm- I'm sorry! I didn't mean it like that! I-!"

But he was laughing. "I know what you meant." he told her. "You really are pretty cute. I'll give you my number - you can call me if you get into any trouble in the future."

"Oh… that's not… you don't have to-" He'd already written a number on a napkin and slid it towards her. She took it, not wanting to be rude. She hoped he really did just mean to call him if she was in trouble and not because... because he was _interested_ in her. The last thing she wanted to do was have that kind of conversation with him.

She emptied her glass, looking for the bartender. "Can I please get another one of these?"

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

"This is so sweet." Shion sighed, taking another sip of her drink. It had been a few more hours since her first one, and Naoki had stayed sitting with her, chatting about this and that. She had no idea where Nobu or Shin were, and had she been sober she probably would have been freaking out. But she wasn't, and as far as she was concerned, she and Naoki had to have been friends at least by this point. She didn't feel nervous when she was with a friend.

Naoki stretched his arms upwards. "I wanna do something interesting~" he said. Then he perked up. "Come with me Shion-chan! I know somewhere we can go."

Having lost her ability to make sound decisions, she followed him out of the room and into the hotel lobby. He led her off into a hallway and stopped when they reached a door. He looked at her, clearly excited for whatever lay beyond it. "You ready?!"

Shion nodded and he took her hand, leading her inside.

It was an indoor swimming pool. Massive in scope with a night view of Tokyo, the water looked inviting. Away from the obnoxious lights, and loud music of the party - the still water of the pool was the total opposite; calm and serene.

"I wanna swim~" she breathed. Beside her, Naoki had already stripped to his boxers, and held his hand out to her.

"Then let's go!"

She followed suit, stripping down until she was just in her underwear. She took his hand and they stared out at the water. After he counted to three, they jumped.

"Cold!" she squealed as the water hit them. It cooled her skin that had been burning hot after spending hours in a hot room, drinking; a welcome change. A tidal wave of water swept over her head and she gasped for air, turning to stare at Naoki in disbelief. He grinned innocently, and she splashed him back. So began the splashing war. Naoki had clearly had more practice, or was just naturally talented at creating a tsunami of pool water to sweep her away from him before she could return the favour.

The effect of alcohol had subdued a bit, thanks to the cold water, and she felt more self conscious when the two of them eventually hauled themselves out of the water to sit next to each other as they dipped their feet in.

"That was fun." Naoki said.

"It was." she said, dipping her fingers in the water. She could feel his gaze on her, and she ignored the uncomfortable flurry of butterflies in her tummy, hoping she had given him the wrong idea.

"Can I ask you something?" he said.

"Yeah."

"You and that guy - Nobu? You were holding hands before - are you guys dating?"

She shook her head. "He's my best friend. I was just a bit nervous about meeting TRAPNEST. He's always been able to calm me down when I overthink things." Naoki didn't say anything after that. He seemed to be thinking.

"Can we… see each again after this?" he asked her. "It would be cool to spend more time together."

Oh boy. There it was. His eyes looked so pleading, she didn't have the heart to refuse him.

"That would be… nice." she said.

He grinned, leaning forward and planting a light kiss on her forehead. "You're so cute~!"

She gave him a small smile, not sure how to react. He'd _definitely _got the wrong idea.

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

They borrowed towels from the hotel and dried themselves off before getting dressed and returning to the party. Nobu, Shin, Ren, and Takumi were by the bar - chatting as Takumi signed autographs on expensive-looking pieces of card.

"It's really impressive, Takumi." Nobu was saying. "How did you transform Ren's shitty music into something so classy and modern?"

Ren glared at him. "Sorry for writing shitty music!" He dropped an ice cube down the back of Nobu's shirt and the young man shuddered at the coldness.

"Everything relies on Ren's creations." Shin said. Takumi snickered.

"When are you gonna stop sucking up, Shin?" Nobu complained. He saw Shion and Naoki watching them and he frowned. "Why are you guys all wet?"

"Went for a swim." Naoki said brightly, wrapping his arm around Shion's shoulder. Nobu raised his eyebrow. "You guys got close pretty quick. Is he being nice to you, Shion?"

"Y-yeah." she said. "He's been really nice."

"See?" Naoki said. "Nothing to worry about here~"

"By the way Takumi," Ren said suddenly. "I want an autograph too. Someone asked me for one and I forgot."

Takumi nodded. "Sure, but do you have paper?"

"Of course not." Ren said, grabbing one of the unsigned autograph cards that Takumi had yet to sign.

"But that's for an important sponsor." Takumi complained.

"I don't care."

Takumi sighed and got his pen ready. "What's her name?"

"Hachiko!" Ren said happily.

"Ren!" Nobu interjected. "If it's for Hachi then wouldn't it be better to put her real name?"

"What's her real name again?" The guitarist asked, taking a sip of his drink.

"Hachi..?" Takumi frowned. "Sounds familiar."

"You met her last time, Takumi." Shin told him. "During the mahjong tournament. Her name is Komatsu Nana."

"Oh yeah!" Takumi said, something in him clicking. "Nana-chan." He looked back at Ren. "But I don't need to do it anymore, right?"

"Huh?" Ren said. "But she wanted one."

"When was that?" Takumi asked.

"Well, the day of the tournament."

"In that case I don't need to do it anymore." Takumi said. "We did it the next day."

The entire group went silent and stared at him in shock. Nobu had zoned out completely, and Shion left Naoki to be by her friend's side. "You okay, Nobu?" she asked him. He didn't reply.

"Oi," Ren said. "What did you do?"

Takumi looked confused. "What?"

"You're talking about my girlfriend's close friend here!" Ren said. "I know you don't have principles but this is going too far! Have some morals!"

"What's the big deal?" Takumi said. "I never forced her to do anything because she agreed. She wagged her tail to please me."

As though struck by lightning, Nobu leapt forward, grabbing Takumi by the collar. The music died down as everyone in the room turned to watch. Ren quickly dissuaded TRAPNEST's manager from getting involved. "They're just joking!" he told the manager.

Nobu was glaring at Takumi. "If you want to fight, then let's take it outside." Takumi told him quietly. "This party is dedicated to the tour staff. Don't ruin it for them."

Shion took a deep breath and stepped forward, putting a hand on Nobu's elbow.

"Nobu." her voice was pleading, and eventually he released his hold on Takumi and stepped back.

"I'm going home." He said, turning to leave. Shion was right behind him.

"You're leaving?" Takumi said. "What the hell?"

"Takumi-san." Shin said. She turned her head to see Shin throw his drink over the other man, who blinked, not quite processing what had happened. "_Otsukare._" Shin said, also leaving.

The three of them made their way outside the hotel, where Nobu sat on the curb, not saying anything. Shin and Shion watched him, not quite knowing what to say. Eventually Shin spoke up.

"Hey Nobu - c'mon let's go. I'm paying for the taxi."

"You can just leave if you want to go home." Nobu said, getting to his feet. "Drop Shion off at her place first though."

"Let me crash at your place~" Shin said. "Shion can too."

"Go to one of your girlfriend's places." Nobu said, scuffing his shoe on the pavement.

"I'm not in the mood." Shin said.

"Takumi is such an idiot." Shin grumbled. "Hachi's our dog - she belongs to us!"

"Don't talk about her as if she's actually a dog." Nobu said, annoyed.

"But it's still annoying!" Shin lit a cigarette. "Get her back for us Nobu! You like her, right?"

That got Shion's attention. The two of them must have seen her confusion.

"You didn't know, Shion?" Shin was surprised. "I thought it was really obvious."

"Nonsense." Nobu muttered.

"Coward." Shin said in reply.

"I can't do anything!" Nobu said, going red. "Hachi likes _that_ guy."

"But she likes him as a fan, right?"

"In the beginning, yes, but when she met him she really fell in love with him or else she never would have accepted his advances." Nobu said.

"But it was only the following day of their meeting." Shin said. "I wonder if it will really turn into anything serious. I think she just got caught up in the heat of the moment."

"What are you talking about?" Nobu snapped. "Hachi isn't that kind of girl!"

"Um, I don't know if this is related," Shion said quietly. "But the day after the mahjong tournament Hachi was out all night, and when we saw her again she told us she'd lost her job."

"She must have been feeling bad after losing her job!" Nobu said. "And then Takumi charmed her with his words while she was vulnerable."

"I'm not so sure." Shin said. "Hachi isn't that stupid."

"It's not that she's stupid." Nobu said. "She's innocent, and she's really obedient!"

"I know that. But Nobu, you were also idolising Reira, right? You need to stop idealising women so much. You think women don't have libidos?"

"We're talking about Hachi here!" Nobu raised his voice, making Shion flinch. She'd never seen this side of him before. Nobu in love was a Nobu she didn't know. "Don't put her into the same category as those easy women that gravitate towards you!"

There was a trace of sadness on Shin's face that vanished soon after. "You know," Shin said. "I don't think the women who want to sleep with me are easy. They're just frivolous. It's because they feel lonely. Hachi as well - she might have felt lonely since she broke up with her boyfriend, right? But you're too slow so you got one-upped by Takumi."

Nobu bit his lip, falling silent.

"Anyway, even if it was started by the heat of the moment, you know Hachi… Without a doubt, she'll fall even more in love. But if it keeps going on like this, Hachi will suffer even more - I can see it. Doesn't that mean anything to you Nobu?"

Shion watched as Nobu battled with his inner conflict. "I don't want that to happen." he said finally.

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

They ended up taking a taxi back to Shion's apartment building anyway. The conversation about Nobu's feelings continued on the ride there, but despite her desire to support her best friend, it was almost five in the morning, and Shion's eyes felt heavy. Nobu accompanied her up the stairs to her flat, saying he wanted to make sure she got home alright, but she knew the real reason when Hachi opened the door to greet them both.

"About time, Nana!" The woman froze when she realised it was Nobu and Shion. The latter slipped past Hachi, disappearing into her room after saying goodbye to Nobu. She had a feeling her best friend wanted a chance to talk to Hachi alone.

"Forgive me!" Hachi was saying. "I thought you were Nana."

"Oh, Nana isn't here? Nobu said.

"I think she's still at Ren's." Hachi said. "You can come in. I can send her a message, but we can call her if you want."

"Uh, no!" Nobu stuttered. "Nana isn't the one I wanted to talk to...but you, Hach- I mean, Nana."

She must have offered him a beer because Shion heard him refuse it hurriedly. "No thanks!" he said. "I don't need alcohol to give me the courage to talk."

"What's wrong?" Hachi asked. "Did something happen?"

Shion counted the silence that followed. Twelve seconds.

"I can't!" Nobu said, his voice muffled, probably as he covered his face. "I'll come back!"

"Don't be ridiculous!" Hachi said. Shion heard as Nobu got up and headed back to the front door.

"I can't beat him anyway so it's impossible!" Nobu said. "I'm not at that level yet."

"What are you talking about? I want to help you."

"One day I swear I'll surpass him!" Nobu declared.

"_Who?_" Hachi wanted to know.

"Takumi." Nobu said. There was the sound of the door opening and then slamming shut. Nobu had made his intentions very clear, to Shion at least. While she felt happy that he'd had the courage to visit Hachi that night, she couldn't help but worry what a potential relationship between her two friends meant for her friendship with Nobu.

As she went to bed that night, she ignored the loneliness that had begun to snare her heart once again.

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•


	18. weakness

Shion made a sidestop to the music shop on her way to practice, carrying the money she needed to pay off her violin. Nana had told them practices would resume that day and Yasu had texted them all to say he had news from a music company they had sent their demo to. Even Shion was eager to get to practice so she could hear the news.

Shin and Nobu were the only ones there when she entered, and Nobu was having trouble playing his guitar. He looked relieved to see her walk in.

"Shion!" he shot a glare at Shin. "I'm so glad you're here. This guy is doing my head in."

"He's all flustered because of what he said to Hachi last night." Shin told her, looking amused. "But I think he did well. Maybe Hachi understood your feelings. She must've been really embarrassed that you only made her understand things half-way, right?"

"What do I win by tormenting her like that?!" Nobu said, flopping down on the floor next to Shin, who was trying to use matches to light his cigarette without success. Shion put her violin case down and joined them. The three sat there, the only sound being the scrape of matches and the small _crack_ as Shin broke another one.

"By the way," Nobu said, looking to Shion. "You and Naoki hit it off yesterday, huh?

Shion fiddled with a loose seam on her jeans. "Yeah… I guess. We went to the pool in the hotel."

"How did you swim?" Nobu asked. "You didn't have anything to wear, did you?"

Her cheeks became warm. "I… was probably drunk," she said slowly. "And… so… I stripped and went in my underwear."

His eyes widened. "What? You were drinking? I thought you didn't like the taste? Naoki saw you in your underwear?"

"You're making a big deal out of it, Nobu." Shin said beside them. "There's no difference between a bikini and underwear anyway."

Nobu looked at his knees. "I guess." he muttered.

Shion sighed. "He… asked if we could spend more time together. I didn't have the heart to say no but I think he might have gotten the wrong idea." She looked at her two friends pleadingly. "What am I supposed to do? He didn't explicitly say he was interested in me but I'd feel bad if he was and then it seemed like I was leading him on!"

"Did he… do anything that made you think he was interested in you?" Nobu wanted to know.

"He… kissed my forehead before we left the pool." she said. As she said it, she could have sworn she saw Nobu's face warp for a split second.

"He's definitely interested in you." Shin said.

"But you should be careful!" Nobu said. "Yasu told me that Naoki used to be a huge playboy."

"But it's not like Shion's interested in him or anything." Shin pointed out. "Right, Shion?"

"Right." she said. "I don't get those feelings… but…"

"But…?" Her two friends regarded her with interest.

"It must be nice…" she said, suddenly transfixed on retying the laces on her boots. "It must be nice being committed to a person… knowing that you'd always have each other. Not in a romantic way!" she added when she realised they were still staring at her. "Just… to have someone you can be emotionally intimate with - or physically intimate if you need it. It's like what Shin said last night - sometimes you just get lonely and the only means of having a meaningful connection with someone is to buy that person for a night."

"You aren't thinking of hiring me next, are you?" Shin teased. She shook her head.

"Of course not! But I understand the appeal, I think." _It's the same way I feel about Nobu._ She understood that she was jealous of Hachi now, because Nobu was focused on offering his commitment to her. But she and Nobu had hugged, held hands, even slept close together. She enjoyed his platonic affection immensely and had come to rely on it a great deal. She just wished she could tell him that without it sounding like a love confession.

_Snap_.

Shin sighed in frustration. "Does anyone have a lighter?"

Shion and Nobu both shook their heads. Neither of them smoked.

"You lost your lighter?" Shion said. Shin nodded.

"Where could you have lost it?" Nobu said. "It's really strange that you lost something you wear around your neck."

"What do I do?" Shin said, getting to his feet. "I really liked that lighter. It was pretty rare so I can't just get another one."

Nobu stood up. "It's punishment," he said. "You must've done something to make a demon king mad."

Before Shin could reply, the door opened and Yasu entered.

"Yasu!" Nobu's eyes lit up at the sight of him.

"Where's Nana?" Yasu asked.

"But tell me - how did it go?" Nobu said, ignoring the question.

"I'll tell you about it when Nana gets back." Yasu told him.

"Oi, quit kidding around." Nobu whined.

Shin joined them. "What are you two talking about?"

Yasu faced him. "By the way, Shin - I couldn't contact you last night. I was pretty worried." he sighed. "Oh well, I'm glad to see you're alive."

"You were with a girl." Nobu realised. "When will you finally stop?"

"It's my job!" Shin argued.

They were interrupted by Nana bursting through the door. "Yasu!" she gasped, not letting herself waste anymore time by stopping to catch her breath. "How did it go with the music company?"

"What are you talking about?" Shin whined. Clearly he hadn't gotten the message Yasu had sent everyone. Shion got to her feet and rejoined the group, watching Yasu as intently as everyone else.

"Gaia Music has expressed interest in us." Yasu told them. "They'll be sending someone to watch our next concert. If they like what we do, then we can start talking about a serious contract."

Shion couldn't believe her ears. Then, this meant if they did well at their next concert - they could end up with a record company behind them?!  
Nana flung her arms around Yasu. "We're in! We're definitely in! All of our performances have been a hit so far. The next one will be no different."

Nobu pulled Shin and Shion in for a group hug, beaming. "We've almost done it. This is awesome!"

Morale was high for the rest of the practice. When they were finished, Shion left with Nana - they were going to have dinner with Hachi that night before Nana told their flatmate she would be staying with Ren for the two week rest TRAPNEST had after their tour.

"She might end up inviting Takumi round." Nana said. "Are you comfortable with that, Shion-chan?"

_Not really._ After the scene Nobu and Takumi had caused last night, Takumi only continued to make her feel uncomfortable. She said nothing, and nodded.

"That's fine." It had been a while since she'd bunkered down in her room, which was going to be her plan if Takumi did visit them. She knew it was bad to fall back on old habits, but she didn't want to impose on Nobu by crashing at his house for two weeks.

Shion couldn't help but feel that while BLAST had been the best thing to happen to her, TRAPNEST would be their undoing, not just as a band, but as friends.

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

They were in the middle of eating dinner when there was a knock at the door.

"I'll get it~" Hachi said, leaping up. When she opened the door she took a step back, surprised. "Nobu?" she said, and both Shion and Nana stopped eating to look up. "What are you doing here?"

Shion could just make out Nobu's sheepish face. "I, ah… I need to talk to you… in private." he said. "Can we talk outside?"

Hachi looked back at her flatmates and then smiled. "Yeah, of course. Let's go."

When the two of them had left, Shion shuffled closer to the window, hoping to catch a glimpse of her two friends outside.

"Something wrong, Shion-chan?" Nana said, watching her curiously.

"I just… what do you think about it all? Nobu and Hachi, I mean."

Nana smiled. "Nobu's a good guy. I think he'll look after Hachi just fine. I'd rather she be with him than Takumi, at any rate, but I suppose the decision is Hachiko's in the end." Shion must have been looking downcast because Nana persisted with her original question. "What do _you_ think about it, Shion?"

Shion sighed. "I don't know. I keep telling myself that I've got no right to feel jealous if I'm not in love with Nobu, but just because I'm not _in love_ with him doesn't mean I don't _love_ him. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah." Nana said, and they shared a look of understanding. "I completely understand. Have you talked to Nobu about it?"

"No…" Shion mumbled. "It would sound so half-assed."

"I don't know about that." Nana said. "Nobu's greatest quality is his unwavering love for his friends. Rather than think you were weird, he'd probably appreciate that you'd be thinking so carefully about your relationship with him. He isn't the type of person to judge you for wanting to be a little selfish."

"Maybe." Shion said. "But I still can't tell him. I don't want to get in between him and Hachi by adding my own confusing feelings into their mess."

"You're allowed to express your feelings, Shion-chan." Nana said kindly. "Nobu's out there confessing his feelings, not because he thinks she'll accept them, but because he wants Hachi to know she can always rely on him to be something who cares about her. If you want to be that person for Nobu, then you need to find the courage to tell him."

She was right, but Shion didn't have that courage - not when she was still certain she'd be intruding when Nobu and Hachi's future relationship was still uncertain.

"I need to think about it." she said at last. "I need to figure out what to say - how to say it."

At that moment Vivaldi's _Spring_ began to play from within Shion's hoodie. Someone was calling her?

"_Moshimoshi?_"

"Shion-chan! Do you miss me yet? You didn't call me today so I thought you might have lost my number!"

"Naoki?" she couldn't believe it. "How did you get my number?"

"I asked Ren to ask Yasu for me." he sounded pleased with himself. "And now I can ask if you want to meet up tomorrow. The band has two weeks break so I want to make the most of it - can I pick you up around noon? I want to take you on a proper date."

_A date._ She immediately felt awkward. "Oh, um…"

"Great! Tomorrow then~ I can't wait!" He hung up, and she put the phone down, stunned.

"Trouble?" Nana wanted to know.

Shion couldn't look at her. "He's another person I need to be straight with."

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

Nana had already gone when Shion left. She'd seen Naoki pull up and didn't want to cause a fuss with Hachi if he decided to pick her up at the door. Sure enough, he'd just gotten out of the car when she came out of the building.

"Shion-chan!" he smiled brightly at her. "You came down before I even had a chance to tell you I was here. Were you looking forward to today that much?"

"Oh! Uh… well…" She only became more flustered when he opened the car door of his BMW for her. Considering he was a member of one of the most popular bands in the country at the moment, he sure drove an ostentatious car. She hoped that wherever they went, they didn't encounter any TRAPNEST fans. The last thing she wanted was some jealous fangirls gunning for her because they thought she was involved with Naoki.

When she was seated, he closed the door and joined her in the driver's seat, drumming his hands on the steering wheel as he regarded her with what could only be described as puppy-like enthusiasm.

"Guess where we're going?" he said.

She shrugged, looking apologetic. "I have no idea."

"Come on~! Just guess."

"I have no idea." Shion said.

Naoki pouted. "We're going to a concert!"

Her heart sank. After all the loud music during the end-of-tour party, she was hoping she wouldn't need to re-enter that environment until BLAST's next live show. Naoki read her like a book and laughed.

"It's not a rock concert - you like classical music, right?"

She gawked at him. How did he know that? Only the members of BLAST knew that she had originally planned on playing classically.

"I listened to you play the La Priorité, remember?" he said. "But I also got Ren to ask your bandmates for me last night. Nobu was the one who suggested the concert." he handed her a flyer and she took it.

_NDR Symphony Orchestra playing Mozart: Sinfonia Concertante in E-Flat Major & Concerto in D Major ft. Midori._

"Midori?!" She couldn't keep the excitement out of her voice. "As in _the_ Midori."

"The one and only!" Naoki grinned. "Uh… who is Midori?"

"She's a violin legend!" Shion declared, louder than she had intended. "She was a child prodigy - she began playing when she was three years old with lessons from her mother, who was also a professional violinist. She's the best of the best!"

"I haven't even started driving and you're this excited." Naoki laughed. She felt blood rise to her cheeks and she ripped her eyes away from him to look at her knees. She was supposed to be letting this guy know she wasn't interested in him, and here she was acting like it was the most thoughtful first date ever.

_Well it is, _she thought to herself. _He's clearly put a lot of effort into today. I can tell him after the concert._ She hoped that was the right thing to do, and not just the thing she wanted to do so she could watch Midori at the orchestra.

She was worried that the drive to the concert hall would be awkward as she didn't have alcohol to loosen her up and make her more sociable, but Naoki was surprisingly easy to talk to. He asked her how BLAST was doing and she told him about the offer Gaia Music had made them.

"That's awesome!" he said. "Before you know it, you'll be doing your own tour across the country like TRAPNEST did. We'll be proper rivals!"

"I hope so." Shion said.

She asked him how he had come to play the drums for TRAPNEST.

"It was Takumi." he told her. "He made me join the Light Music Club in middle school and I picked up the drums. I thought it would make me popular with the girls and I liked the whole punk rock aesthetic." He flashed her a grin. "This is the only time it's really paid off though. If I wasn't in the band, I never would have met you!"

Her heart sank and she shifted in her seat, the guilt piling up. She did her best to return the smile, hoping it didn't show her discomfort. She let him chat for the rest of the drive and the time passed as she listened to him enthuse about the tour he had just finished and the parts of Japan he'd gotten to explore. The more he talked, the more she could see how genuine and kind he really was, and the worse she felt about leading him on.

The concert hall was almost full by the time they found their seats. It wouldn't be long before it started. Shion let her arm sit on the armrest and before she knew it Naoki had entwined their fingers, offering her a shy smile. It made her body tremble and he noticed immediately.

"You're so cute, Shion-chan." He gently rubbed circles on the back of her hand with his thumb. She didn't think that Japanese people could be so forward and yet the people she had met within TRAPNEST and BLAST had been exactly that. She was able to forget about her discomfort when the music started. There she was in the flesh - Midori. She played magnificently, and Shion was left in awe. Everything about the professional was flawless, from her posture to the way her fingers danced across the fingerboard. She wondered if her mother had been like that when she was a professional, and the thought haunted her.

The classical music soothed her mind and she felt herself dazing off. In the letter her mother had written to her, she had mentioned she wanted Shion to follow a path that made her happy - no matter whether that applied to her lifestyle, or career path. She thought that path had been with BLAST, but ever since she had begun playing classical music again at La Priorité, she had fallen in love again with her favourite classical composers. Even now, sitting in the concert hall watching one of her idols play in front of her - it was surreal, and reignited her ambition to one day be on that stage. She didn't like the uncertainty that swayed her heart whenever she listened to classical music.

"Shion-chan?" she blinked, and she realised the music had stopped. The orchestra had already left the stage. Was it over already? She followed Naoki out of the building, still feeling dazed. He opened the passenger door for her again and she slipped inside the car. He was watching her expectantly when he also got in. "How was it? As good as you hoped?"

She smiled. "It was amazing. I loved it - truly. Thank you for taking me."

He looked relieved. "I'm glad. I was so nervous that you weren't going to like it, or maybe it wasn't the right sort of classical music. I'm no expert and I have no idea how any of it works but it seemed like a good idea so-"

"It was great." she cut him off, recognising his nervousness and wanting to put him out of his misery. She hadn't expected to enjoy today, but it had become one of the highlights of her time in Tokyo - the top moment being her sleepover with Nobu.

"We could find somewhere to eat." Naoki suggested. "Or we could go somewhere else if you had a place in mind. Or I could take you home. It's up to you." The trip to the orchestra had made her nostalgic, and she felt it was time to make a trip that she should have made a long time ago. Naoki agreed to her idea, and began the drive.

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

After her mother had died, Shion and her father would visit her grave together once a month and pray together. Those visits became less frequent when her stepmother came into the picture, and by the time they had remarried, her stepmother had convinced her father not to go at all. Shion began to visit the grave in secret after school had finished and that was how it had continued until she finished high school. She hadn't visited her mother's grave now since her birthday - a few days before she moved into her apartment.

She knelt before the grave and bent her head.

"Hey, _Okaa-san_." she said. Beside her, Naoki also knelt down and bowed his head. He helped her clean the grave which had grown a new layer of moss since the last time she'd visited, and was covered in dead leaves, leftover from autumn. They hadn't brought any incense or candles with them to burn, but they borrowed a small tub from the cemetery to pour water over the headstone. The pair of them bent their heads in prayer again, and Shion began to speak.

"A lot has happened since I last came to see you, _Okaa-san_." she said. "I moved in with my flatmates - they're both called Nana, isn't that funny? But they're both very sweet and they looked after me when I moved in. And then I met the other members of BLAST - Shin, and Yasu, and… Nobu. You don't need to worry about me having no friends anymore, _Okaa-san_, because now I've made the best friends I could, and now I'm even in a band." she wanted to tell her mother more about Nobu, but she figured it would be a bad idea with Naoki beside her. "And this is Naoki. He plays for TRAPNEST, which is another band. He took me to see Midori playing live this afternoon, isn't that cool? I'm sure we would have gone together to see her if you were still here."

An image of a parallel universe flooded into her mind; a universe where she and her mother watched the orchestra together, discussing each movement with enthusiasm. She wished that it was a reality. She wished for it so much, and her heart twisted in her chest. The hole her family had left was still there, and her issues with Nobu were making it much harder to ignore.

"Shion-chan?" Two warm hands cupped her face, and Naoki wiped away her tears with the pads of his thumbs. There was aggression in the action, or intent to go further than comfort her like this. He'd acted like a gentleman for the entire day, and all she could think about was how she was taking advantage of his feelings, much like she had with the stalker who had paid her for a kiss.

"I'm sorry, Naoki." she said, pulling away. "You made today so special, and I'm about to do something really horrible."

"I doubt that." he said, trying to reassure her with another smile. "I've enjoyed this day too much for it to be messed up by anything."

She took a deep breath. "If you don't mind me asking… uh…" she felt awkward, but she knew she needed to push through. This was important. "What are your intentions… with, um… me?"

"To date you." Naoki said, not missing a beat. His forwardness still made blood rise to her cheeks.

"Right." she mumbled. "Well… um, I don't know how to say this exactly… but, well…"

"Are you dating Nobu after all?" Naoki's face fell.

"No! Not at all. It's the opposite, actually. It's just the thing is… I don't experience romantic attraction."

She'd said it. But Naoki's reaction was much like Hachi's.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't fall in love." she said. "Those just… aren't feelings I experience."

"Maybe you just haven't met the right person yet." he suggested. She shook her head.

"I don't think so. It's hard to explain, but I can feel it's more than just not finding the right person." she bowed her head in apology. "I'm so sorry I didn't tell you sooner - it just felt weird to assume you were interested in me and then we had today and I didn't want to spoil it… I guess I did that anyway."

"You haven't!" Naoki said quickly. He looked like he was thinking a lot. "If you think you don't experience romantic feelings, does that mean you've never had a boyfriend?"

She nodded.

"Then maybe for you it's something you need to try. Maybe you won't feel attracted to someone unless you date them first and spend more time with them?" It didn't sound right, but Naoki was trying so hard to change her mind, she reverted back to her previous strategy of agreeing with him.

"Maybe." she said.

"Then go out with me!" he said. "If it makes you uncomfortable I won't push you, and you can tell me if I'm being too forward or if things are getting too serious - I'll listen and adapt and we can make something work. I just…" he took a deep breath. "I think I'm really falling for you Shion. Ever since I saw you play your violin. You were so focused on it, and your brow creased when you got to more challenging parts."

The last sentence made her cheeks warm. Nobu was the only other person who had ever pointed that part out.

"If I get my heart broken, then so be it." Naoki said. "But please give me a chance to make you fall in love with me. _Please!_"

Her heart throbbed unpleasantly. She was caught between her mind which knew it would only make him suffer a bigger pain in the future if she agreed, and her heart, which was craving intimate human connections again.

_Don't do it_, her sensible voice told her. _You'll regret it if you do. You know you won't be able to fall in love with him._

_But what if we managed to find a relationship dynamic that worked for us?_ Her other voice said. _Maybe we could find a middle ground that made us both happy. Like the intimate platonic relationship we wanted with Nobu_.

_You can still try to make that relationship with Nobu happen!_ The sensible voice was beginning to get desperate. _You just need to ask him to come over tonight and explain it to him._

_I don't want to intrude on his feelings for Hachi._

_You won't! His feelings for Hachi are a totally different thing._

"Shion-chan?" Naoki's voice brought her back to earth and she was grateful to get out of her head. "Was that too much? I'm sor-"

"No!" Shion took a deep breath. "If… if you promise we can take it slow, and that you'll take into consideration my feelings - or lack thereof - then… then I'll date you."

Her stomach sank as she spoke, and she knew she'd made the wrong decision, but it was too late to back out now. She'd do her best to make it work - her heart needed this. It needed someone who would look after her, and _cherish_ her. But was that person Naoki?

She had no idea.

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•


	19. love

Naoki bid Shion goodbye when he dropped her off later on that afternoon. She did her best to smile at him before he drove off, but the uneasiness she felt ate away at her stomach. Was dating him really the only way to stave off the loneliness she felt?

Hachi eagerly ushered her inside to sit at the table. Clearly, Nana's absence was already having its effect on her. "How was it, Shion-chan?" she wanted to know. "I saw the car outside - that was Naoki, right?"

Shion nodded. "He took me to see a classical concert. It was really nice."

"So romantic~!" Hachi squealed. Shion felt her stomach sink.

"I guess." she said, knowing that she wasn't really in the position now to remind Hachi about her lack of romantic feelings. "He… he asked me to date him."

Hachi's jaw dropped. "And then?"

Shion drummed her fingers on the table nervously. "I said… I'd give it a try." Before she knew it, Hachi had flung her arms around her, beaming.

"This is great Shion!" she enthused. "Naoki seems like a great guy - I'm sure it'll work out."

_It's not Naoki that I'm worried about._ Shion kept that thought to herself. What she really would have liked was to talk about it with Nana, who seemed to understand her feelings surrounding platonic and romantic attraction. She'd have to try and pull her friend aside after the next BLAST practice. Hopefully, she could keep this on the down low from the rest of the members for a little bit. The last thing she wanted to do was cause a spectacle when everything was so unstable. She just hoped Naoki wouldn't tell the rest of TRAPNEST for a while either. Hopefully.

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

There was practice that evening, and Hachi walked with her to the practice studio. Shion had already asked that her friend keep what had happened with Naoki a secret, and Hachi had reluctantly agreed.

"Don't you want to tell everyone about your relationship though?" Hachi had said. "I know I would."

"Not yet." Shion said. "I just need some time."

Instead they'd spent the walk talking about the band, and the offer frome Gaia Music. BLAST needed to work extra hard for their next concert so that all the chips fell into place. They never knew when another opportunity like it would present itself again.

The rest of the band was already there setting up when they arrived. At the sight of Nana, Hachi launched herself at the other woman happily. It was evident how close the two of them had grown over the months they'd lived together. Shion was so busy watching them that she hadn't noticed Nobu and Shin were staring at her curiously.

"What is it?" she asked, grabbing her violin and plugging it into the amp.

"Yasu said that Naoki called him." Nobu said, fiddling with the neck of his guitar. He must have seen her face fall when he said it because his expression turned into something unreadable. "You're really dating him then? Apparently he couldn't contain his excitement about it."

Shion's fingers were trembling as she tightened the bow string. "It's… complicated. I told him about… you know - how I feel about that stuff. He said he just wanted to give it a shot anyway."

Nobu looked like he wanted to say something else, but bit his lip. Shin jumped in.

"Well, we'll still support you. Tell us if he does anything you don't want him to though. Nobu will beat him up!"

"I'll _what_?" Nobu blushed. "Why'd you say that?"

"So you wouldn't?" Shin teased him. "You and Shion are inseparable so I just thought…"

"Enough now. We've gotta work hard." Nana stopped their conversation in its tracks and Shion let out a sigh of relief. Shin let the topic go after that, and Nobu noticeably avoided meeting her eyes for the rest of practice. For the first time since she'd joined the band, Shion was extremely glad to get practice over and done with. Her head hadn't been in the right place and she kept messing up - to the point she was throwing Nobu off on his guitar. She waited until the men left and Hachi was waiting outside, and pulled Nana aside as she packed up.

"Can I talk to you before you go, Nana?" she asked quietly.

"Sure." Nana said. "What's up with you? Today you were all over the place."

Shion bowed her head in apology, but Nana just laughed and patted her shoulder.

"I think I did a bad thing." Shion said. "I… today Naoki took me on a date… and he confessed to me."

Nana gaped at her. "Naoki _confessed_? He sure did that fast, huh? So what did you say?"

"I… said yes." Shion said. "I know I shouldn't have… but I did. I couldn't convince myself that I'd have the courage to explain my feelings to Nobu… so I sort of… took the easy way out."

Nana smiled at her sympathetically. "And what does Nobu think about all of this?"

Shion remembered the way Nobu had been avoiding her gaze all evening and her heart ached. "He hasn't looked at me once since I admitted it to him."

"I see." Nana let a silence hang between them before continuing. "You know Shion, he might just be worried about you - or even jealous. I mean ever since you met each him you've slowly been relying on him more and more. He loves being able to support the people he cares about. Maybe he thinks now you've got Naoki, you won't go to him anymore."

"But that's wrong!" Shion blurted out. "Nobu is the greatest friend I've ever had! He's kind and caring, and always thoughtful of me. He gave me the courage to be in this band; and I've overcome so many of my problems because he was right next to me helping me figure everything out! There is _no one_ I care about more than him!" As she finished her small speech, she realised that Nana was looking at something behind her. Shion turned, and to her total horror, saw that Nobu was standing behind her - his face completely scarlet. Clearly he had heard everything she had said.

"I… I forgot my phone." he stammered out.

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

Nobu had offered to walk Shion and Hachi home, but this time it was Shion who couldn't look at Nobu. She knew it was unreasonable, as she had only said good things about her best friend, but she couldn't help feeling mortified all the same. Shion could only silently thank the gods that Hachi was with them to fill in the otherwise awkward silence as she put one foot in front of the other. She was relieved when their flat building came into view. However, just before she could disappear inside with Hachi, Nobu called out to her.

"Shion? Can we talk a bit?"

The pit in her stomach grew bigger by the second, but she managed to turn around with a slight nod. They sat next to each other on the steps outside, not saying anything.

"You know," Nobu started off. "I was really happy to hear you say all those things earlier." She couldn't speak! She could only listen as Nobu said his piece. "It's hard to believe that we've only been friends for a few months when I feel like I've known you for way longer." She was able to nod her head at that comment. It was true enough. Nobu had helped her overcome anti-social behaviour that she'd been doing for years. In doing so, she had come to strongly admire the type of person that he was, and the unwavering support that came with his friendship.

"Shion - can you look at me?" That was definitely a surprise to hear. Very slowly, she managed to drag her eyes up until they locked on to his. He smiled then, and the tension in her stomach melted away into nothing. This was the Nobu she knew - endlessly supportive, and not judgemental at all. He reached out and squeezed her hand. "You okay? You didn't really seem that happy about Naoki."

She sighed. "I don't know anymore. Earlier today when we went to the concert I was really, _really_ happy." His face seemed to brighten when she said that, and then she recalled that Naoki had said it was Nobu's idea to go to watch the orchestra in the first place. "But when he confessed to me, once I'd gotten past being flustered, I just felt uncomfortable."

"Then why didn't you refuse him?" Nobu asked her.

"I did at first. But he was insistent that my feelings might change if we tried dating - and even if they didn't he just wanted a chance to try. Not only that but…" Shion wasn't sure if she wanted to say the next part, but one look from Nobu told her he wouldn't be letting her walk away just like that. "But there was a part of me that was craving a deeper human connection. People in good relationships always seem so happy; thinking about how that could be me made me ignore my real feelings, I suppose."

"A deeper human connection." Nobu repeated. "But what about our friendship? We're closer than you and Naoki are, right?"

"Of course!" Shion said quickly, and Nobu seemed to relax when she said that. "But… you've got your eyes on Hachi, right? I didn't want you to ever feel like you had to pick between your friendship with me or a relationship with Hachi."

"That's stupid!" Nobu told her, and her heart began to hammer in her chest when she saw an unreadable expression on his face. "Hachi and I aren't even dating. My feelings for her are unrequited. Not only that, but my friendship with you isn't something I'd put in the backburner just because I'd have a girlfriend." His hand found hers again, and they stayed like that for some time. She hadn't realised he'd crept closer to her, so that their shoulders brushed against each other, but she felt them rise and fall with his breathing. Before, she would have been over the moon to hear him talk about their friendship in such a way, but she only felt more stupid with each passing second. Now all she could think about was the relationship with Naoki she had agreed to, and already regretted within hours of accepting the offer.

"What do I do?" she whispered. "I promised him I'd give it a chance."

Nobu met her eyes, and before she knew it he'd leaned in to rest his forehead against hers.

"If you think there's even a chance that he can make you happy, then see what happens," he whispered, and his breath was warm on her face. "But you can tell him no at any time. If it makes you too uncomfortable, then don't let him pressure you into anything."

Now that she was with Nobu like this, she knew deep down that any happiness Naoki could offer her would pale in comparison. But it still didn't feel right to go back on her promise. She'd stick it out, with Nobu's support, and when she'd done it for an adequate amount of time, before any feelings could develop enough to be painful, she'd tell Naoki it wasn't working out. That was something she _could_ do.

"Thank you Nobu." she breathed in relief. "Thank you so much."

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

Over the next two weeks, while TRAPNEST was on break, Naoki continued to spend most of his free time with Shion. He'd text her throughout the day when they had no plans to go on a date, and when they did meet up several times a week, he always thought of places to go that were comfortable for her. Shion had been taken to places all over Tokyo - private picnics in the park, visiting the aquarium, eating at a small cafe, among other things. While she got the impression that his idea of a fun date was more mischievous than they'd been so far, she appreciated that he was respecting her boundaries and helping her anxiety. He was a dedicated date, and was constantly asking her questions about her life - particularly their shared interest in music.

During one such evening after band practice and leaving Nobu to walk Hachi home, Naoki had picked her up and taken her to a restaurant. It was the sort of establishment where one meal was the same price as an entire week of groceries, but she tried not to cringe as she pointed at the cheapest thing on the menu - which was still enough to make her gape. Afterwards, Naoki had insisted she pick a dessert out too. She was just allowing the gentle flavour of her matcha tiramisu to spread across her tongue when she felt something warm grasp her free hand on the table. Naoki had covered her hand with his. She resisted the urge to pull back, and instead could only watch him, warmth now spreading to her cheeks. Unlike when she held hands with Nobu, she felt extremely self-conscious - painfully so. It wasn't a feeling that she enjoyed having, and it was only out of politeness that she continued to endure it.

"Is this okay?" Naoki asked her, his eyes concerned.

"Yeah, it's fine." she lied. He flashed her a smile and she did her best to mirror it, feeling the dread pile up within. All she could think about was what he would try next, and how grateful she was for the table between them in the current moment. She did her best to get back to eating her dessert, but the matcha had lost all of its subtle flavour.

"I wanted to talk to you about something." Naoki said, and her eyes slid up slowly. His face was serious, and she almost jumped out of her skin when he began to rub small circles on the back of her hand with his thumb. "Tomorrow is my last day of break before TRAPNEST gets back to work."

She nodded. "It sure passed quickly, huh?"

He smiled. "I wanted to thank you for being so understanding. Even though I've tried my best to make you feel comfortable since we decided to try this out, I know for you it's probably still been quite sudden."

It was like he'd read her mind. Only Nobu and Nana had ever been this good at reading her, and it was startling. Guilt tugged at her heart as she thought about how uncomfortable she felt, despite his best efforts to make it not so. If only she had the ability to fall in love… but would she want to, even then?

"I want to make tomorrow night really special," he continued. "And I want you to know what I'm planning in advance, Shion-chan." Naoki took a deep breath. "I'm going to ask you to be my girlfriend - for real this time, not just as a trial period. Before, I was going to wait as long as it took to make you fall in love with me but… I can't help it now. More than anything, I want _you_ Shion. I want to be your strength and your support."

She opened her mouth to speak, but he spoke again before she could. "I don't want an answer now." he said. "I just - would you please think really hard about your own feelings before tomorrow?"

Shion nodded, and he relaxed again. Then, as though the previous talk had never happened, Naoki struck up a new conversation about his bandmate Takumi and his suspicious relationship with Hachi, all while Shion's mind was still reeling from his confession. She was relieved when Naoki eventually paid the bill and they left. He was still chatting away cheerfully as he drove her home.

"I'll pick you up tomorrow night, Shion-chan," he winked at her when they arrived.

"Okay." she murmured. And then he was off again, leaving her to watch his car disappear from sight.

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•

Takumi was sitting at the table with Hachi when she opened the door. At her arrival the two of them raised their eyebrows at her apparent state.

"I thought you were with Naoki, but you look like you've just come back from war." Takumi commented.

"Don't go there." Shion muttered, putting her violin case down and flopping unceremoniously into the chair next to him, resting her head in her arms on the table. She was too tired to care that he was in her home.

Hachi was more sympathetic. "What happened, Shion-chan?"

Shion closed her eyes and let out a sigh. "It's not working. The whole dating thing. I knew it wouldn't but I said yes anyway and now I'm in the bigger mess that I predicted I'd be in. What the hell is wrong with me?"

"Love is complicated," Hachi began. Shion let out a laugh. "You're telling _me_." She knew the day would come when she needed to reject Naoki, but now that the day was almost upon her, the reality of what she had done washed over her. She'd never planned to date him properly in the first place. She'd taken advantage of Naoki's feelings for her, who had hoped with each passing day that his affections would one day be returned, and she had known from _day one_ that it was never going to happen.

Shion got to her feet, grabbing her violin case and then trudged to her room. There was no point in thinking it over anymore. She just needed to escape it for a while, and sleep could do just that for her.

Unfortunately, her brain wasn't in a generous mood and she found herself staring at the ceiling for at least an hour, as tired as ever, but not even close to falling asleep. The time told her it was almost midnight, but suddenly being stuffed in her room made her feel like a bird trapped in a cage.

"I need to get out of here," she whispered, already pulling her clothes back on. She opened her door slowly, wondering if Hachi and Takumi were still out there, but the lights were off. She was so out of it, she hadn't even heard him leave. Or maybe he was staying the night? Shion wondered if she should leave a note so that Hachi knew where she was, but thought against it. She had no paper to write on anyway, and if she texted Hachi it might wake her housemate up.

_I'm not gonna be long anyway… I think._ She locked the front door after her, pocketing her keys as she headed towards the staircase. To be completely honest, she had no idea what she was doing - just that she needed to be out and about, or at the very least needed a breather. Rather than being anxious at being out so late at night, which she had no doubt she would be if her brain wasn't already overloaded with other things, she decided to treat it like she was on an adventure. Adventures were fun, so this would be no different.

She walked up the road, and before she knew it she was by the bus stop near the convenience store. Images of what had happened at the park flashed through her mind, and her pace quickened as she passed it. Where was she headed? Her legs seemed to have a mind of their own. Suddenly she was passing the band's practice studio, the record shop she worked at, and the rest of the main shopping district beyond that. When she finally stopped, Shion blinked. In front of her was a door, and when she realised where she was she clapped her hands over her mouth.

"Why the hell am I _here?_" she whispered, horrified. The light in Nobu's apartment was still on which was strange since it was almost one in the morning and they had work later on. She thought about going back home, but being snapped back to reality had made her realise how sore her legs were from walking so far. Instead, she plucked up the courage to knock on the door.

She heard shuffling and then the door cracked open.

"I told you to leave me alone!" It was Nobu's voice, but he sounded so small, so _broken_ that she barely recognised him. When his face peered out and his eyes registered Shion standing there, they widened in shock.

"Shion? What the hell are you doing here so late?"

She'd forgotten all about her own worries. "Forget me," she said. "What about _you_?! You look awful." His eyes were red from crying; something that he must have been self-conscious of because the moment she spoke he rubbed his face with his sleeve. Without waiting to be invited in, she pushed past him. He shut the door and watched as she regarded him with her arms crossed.

Shion scanned the room, which smelled strongly of alcohol. There were empty beer cans discarded throughout the room. "Did you drink all of this by yourself?" she asked.

He rubbed his neck sheepishly. "Ah, well, Shin was here too a while ago."

"But you drank most of this yourself?"

Nobu nodded, avoiding her eyes. She sighed and gestured for him to sit down at the table which he did. Without saying a word more, she spent the next ten minutes cleaning up the room - collecting the beer cans in a rubbish bag, and getting Nobu a glass of water, which he tentatively sipped as she cleaned. When she was finished she let herself sink to the floor, at the table across from him.

"What happened?" she asked him gently. "I thought you were walking Hachi home."

"Is _he_ still there?" Nobu said, not looking up.

"Who?"

"_Takumi_." Nobu muttered. "We were walking home and then Nana-chan started acting all strange, and then before I know it Takumi's just standing there telling me that he'll take her home instead."

"Oh." That explained Takumi's sudden appearance at their apartment. She tapped the table slowly. "I didn't see them when I left." It wasn't a lie, exactly. The last thing she wanted to do was add more fuel to the fire. Nobu just sighed.

"It hurts seeing her being used like that," he said. "There's no way Takumi would actually consider taking things with her seriously, but he still shows up out of nowhere because he knows that she loves him."

"Takumi's a playboy?" Shion said. "I thought that was Naoki?"

Nobu shook his head. "Yasu said that Naoki didn't really do that kind of stuff once the band got serious, but Takumi is almost infamous for sleeping with fans." He bit his lip. "I don't wanna talk about it anymore."

"But-" Shion began to protest but Nobu looked at her pleadingly, and she could see how tired he was. He switched the focus of the conversation to her instead.

"How was the date with Naoki?"

It was Shion's turn now to look away. "He told me his feelings are stronger than ever and tomorrow he's going to ask me to be his girlfriend. For real this time." She leaned backwards so she was laying down, staring up at the ceiling. "I know I need to reject him but… I wonder if I'll be able to in the moment. Even now there's a part of me that thinks if I stay with him long enough my feelings with change. He's a nice guy, and the time I've spent with him has been enjoyable, even despite the more uncomfortable moments."

Nobu crawled around the table until he was staring down at her. "But if you tell him you want to be with him, he'll take that as a message that the uncomfortable parts aren't uncomfortable at all for you."

"I know." Shion said. "But I think I could endure it."

"Shion, don't you see how wrong that is?" he said. For the first time since she'd met him, he sounded disappointed, and that disappointment was directed at her. Forget the pit in the bottom of her stomach - she wanted a hole in the ground to swallow her up. His eyes were still watching her, and she couldn't bear it any longer. She covered her face with her arms.

"I know," she whispered. "But sometimes I feel so lonely I just want to die." She rubbed her eyes before the tears could escape. "Always being alone at school, having such a _fucked_ family life - I feel like I'm constantly playing catch up in my life. Knowing that I'll never love anyone romantically when I see everyone swearing on their lives that love is what makes the world go round… I feel like a freak. Like a jigsaw piece without a puzzle." Her voice cracked, and she bit her lip. "I know what I'm doing to Naoki is wrong! I've known it ever since I planned to break up with him the day I agreed to date him! But there's this hole in my life, and it's _killing me_. I don't care about what it does to me, or how it makes others around me perceive me, and I _hate_ that I'm making good people around me suffer. Even that creep who paid me to kiss him - there was a part of me that craved that human touch because it made me feel _wanted_ and I didn't have to worry about anyone's feelings." She wiped her face again and got to her feet, heading for the door. "I need to go." She'd revealed too much and she didn't want to see the disappointment in Nobu's face again. That really would kill her.

"Wait!" He grabbed her hand and tugged her towards him - using a little too much force. Shion stumbled on her feet as she tried to protect her previously injured ankle and ended up on the ground. Beneath her, Nobu groaned in pain, and she realised that he'd broken her fall.

"Nobu? Are you okay?" Immediately she pulled herself off him and turned around to crouch in front of him. He rubbed his head, smiling apologetically.

"I don't know why I did that," he admitted. "It was pretty uncool. Sorry. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." She went to stand back up but his hand once again reached out to grab hers. She watched him closely. "Nobu?"

"If I promise you don't have to worry about my feelings," he said slowly. "Can I… can I hold you?"

The confusion on her face must have shown. "Hold me?"

He leaned forward, his arms ready to encircle her, but his eyes searched hers for consent first. When she nodded, he drew her into his chest, and before she knew it instinct took over and she buried her face into the crook of his neck. It was far more intimate than the time he'd comforted her, but this didn't feel uncomfortable at all. All she could think about was the genuine connection she felt to the person holding her. Even if he didn't _love love_ her, she knew that he _loved_ her in the same way she loved him. Their feelings were equal, and they were both on the same page. She felt that, more than anything. This was the touch she had craved, and her emotions got the better of her.

"I love you Nobu," she murmured. "I really do."

He hugged her tighter, and she melted into him. The two of them fell backwards, and he laid on his back as she cuddled up to his chest. She felt warm, but the idea that the warmth could disappear at any moment scared her. _I never knew what a clingy person I was until I met Nobu_. Just holding her like this, it was nice, but it wasn't enough. She raised her head to look at Nobu, only to realise he had been watching her, his face still red from the alcohol. Maybe in the morning he'd remember this moment and think of it as nothing more than a drunken mistake. Even so, she wouldn't trade it for anything.

Then, as though he'd read her mind, his hand moved to cup her cheek; touching her so gently that she barely felt his hand against her skin. It was no good at all. She placed her hand over his, so that his skin was pressed more firmly, more securely against hers. That was better. Soon his face was so tantalisingly close to her own, and their breath mingled together. At first, he pressed his forehead against hers, much like what he'd done before, hesitant to go any further.

Shion took a deep breath, and then closed the gap between them, their lips colliding. He was gentle at first, kissing her tenderly, but the longer it went on, the more eager she got. She needed to be closer, closer, closer…

Eventually they found themselves on his bed, still wrapped up in each other. Nobu gasped his next words out in between kissing along her jaw and down her neck. "Do you… want to…? Should we…?"

Shion held his face with both hands, and they stopped momentarily.

"I want to," she told him breathlessly. "I want to but if you don't-"

"I do!" Nobu said, kissing her forehead. "But… this is your first time, isn't it? You don't have to do anything you don't want to."

"I want to," she repeated. "There's no one I trust more than you."

And so they continued. Shion's heart felt like it would burst as he held her hand against his bare chest, and she felt his heart beating beneath her fingers. Never in a million years did she ever think she'd let someone touch her in the way he was; cherishing every part of her body with his supple, tender lips. Every touch, every kiss, every caress: it was all for her and she couldn't get enough. It hurt, but he made sure his movements were slow at first and the heat their bodies bathed each other in made her lose herself entirely. She clung to him desperately, as though he might disappear at any moment, begging him to stay with her.

Then it was over, and they snuggled up together, listening to their short puffs of breath.

Shion propped herself up on one elbow so she could kiss the tip of his nose, and then she noticed his expression. "Nobu?" he looked conflicted. "What's wrong?"

"You know that I'm not in love with you, right?" he murmured.

"Yeah. And you know I'm not in love with you." she said.

"Then… this isn't _wrong_, is it?"

Shion tapped lightly on his chest. "I know you're in love with Hachi. I… I didn't do this to try and make you forget about her. I just… it's difficult to explain." She hid her face in his chest. "A few months ago I was too shy to be in the same room as you and now I've done this? You're just… you're really special to me."

"And you're really special to me too." Nobu said. "To be honest, I felt a bit jealous when I found out you were going to date Naoki but I knew I had no right to be. I guess my ego just didn't like the idea that you were relying on someone else other than me."

"I always rely on you," Shion agreed. "I didn't talk to you about Naoki because… I didn't want to rely on you too much. I don't want to be a burden."

"You've never been a burden, Shion-chan." he told her. "To see you go from being so shy, to being an independent, brilliant violinist - I'm so proud of you. You've come such a long way since then; you shouldn't feel ashamed at all."

"Then you understand why I wanted to do this with you, don't you?" she said, gesturing to the two of them. "Why I wanted _you_ to be my first? I wanted to show you… I wanted you to feel my gratitude towards you, and the respect and love I have for you. I could do it _because_ _of you_."

There were tears leaking down his cheeks, and she gently wiped them away with the pad of her thumb. He smiled sadly at her.

"I don't know what this means for us… I love Hachi - I really do. But my feelings towards you... I need some time to think, and you do too. For now, we should just sleep." He pulled her back into his chest and she sighed, her body relaxing. The tiredness she felt soon sent her off into a deep sleep, and she savoured the last few moments of bliss before she was forced to face the complications that morning would bring.

•─────⋅雨⋅─────•


End file.
